


One More Chance

by VintageVulpes



Series: SPN Season 13 Spec [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Dean and Sam have bromance not romance, Destiel - Freeform, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Wayward Daughters, season 13 speculation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-01
Updated: 2017-10-18
Packaged: 2018-11-22 03:48:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 80,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11371959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VintageVulpes/pseuds/VintageVulpes
Summary: A Coda/AU of S13: When Cas returns to the boys after they were convinced he wasdead, dead Jack joins the family. Together, the Winchesters open the bunker to all hunters in a step towards saving the world. Efforts are put in to right wrongs of all sizes from finding Mary, saving souls, and opening some doors while closing others. Meanwhile, Dean struggles to have "the talk" with Cas, even after swearing he would if he got one more chance, and Sam deals with the new Hunter Democracy, losses, and feelings of his own.Witches, angels, and ghosts - oh my!





	1. 12x23 & 13x01

**That Night (12x23):**

Without a word and a painful, fleeting glance back at Cas’ still form, Sam had backed away from Dean and Cas to check on Kelly and the her child. Dean couldn’t care less though. He couldn’t move away from Cas if he wanted to. His legs were numb and his knees weak. The damp sand seeped moisture through his jeans and clung to the fabric, making him feel cold and clammy. As he looked to Cas’ face again and then to the ground around his body, his shoulders sagged and shook with silent sobs.

The wings burned into the sand were the only thing that brought his gaze away from Cas’ still form. A lump formed in his throat and his chest constricted- he could barely breathe as he stared at the face of his angel. Dean managed to lift his head and look at the sky, it felt like there were bricks weighing his skull and his neck craned to support it. The velvet darkness was only illuminated by barely twinkling stars. It was like the universe knew that it had lost one of its best creations and mourned the loss in darkness. Darkness- Amara.

His eyes blinked slowly as he sent out a prayer to anyone was was listening; Chuck, Amara, or any angel who sympathized with Cas’ longing to the right thing. Hell, he’d go for an empathetic demon. Anything.

But no one came. 

Nothing happened.

Cas was dead and nothing - no one - was going to bring him back. 

He lowered his head back down as tears pricked at his eyes, the lump in his throat the size of his broken heart. Dean lowered himself further to the ground, closer to the body. His eyes slowly looked away from Cas’ face to look at the hole pierced into his chest. With twitching fingers, he reached out to it, his hand hovering shakily over the fresh wound. 

Death was not unfamiliar to the Winchesters or to Cas. So when Dean looked at Cas he knew that there was nothing there anymore- that there was nothing left of who he was. Still, his hand fell heavily onto Cas’ chest to feel the shirt underneath and the dreadful feeling of stillness. Tears slipped down Dean’s cheeks and he balled the bloody shirt in his hand as he bent over the body. 

Cas was dead.

Cas had always believed himself to be the failure. If one of Cas’ plans went sideways it was always a failure to him- a testament to him being useless. It wasn’t that he was useless, it was that he always tried to do the right thing and the right thing is almost never the easy thing. That didn’t make Cas a failure but Dean had never told him. Never explained to Cas that he was better than the rest of them because he followed his heart, believed in a better world when no one else could see it. 

_I’m the failure_ , Dean thought, _not you, Cas, never you_.

Dean had never told Cas that was one of the very few things that ever went right in his life. Never told him that he supported him and loved him, even when they disagreed. He had been too busy telling him that he needed to do better without ever telling him when he’d done well. Kept asking Cas to be there for him but barely made the effort to be there for Cas when he needed him most.

Dean shifted his body closer to Cas and pulled him into his lap, “Cas… I’m so sorry, buddy.” he managed, his chin quivering as he spoke. He placed his hand on the side of Cas’ face, the tips of his fingers brushing into the hair at the side of his ear. “I’m sorry Cas, I’m so sorry. I kept saying that I needed you… I should have been there when _you_ needed _me_.” The lump in his throat became too harsh and he let out a choked sob as he lowered his forehead to rest against Cas’. “Please… come back, please.” 

“Dean?” 

His eyes shot open and he looked down at Cas’ face but he was still in a frozen state; his eyes closed and lips unmoving. Dean’s eyebrows pushed together before raising slightly. 

“Dean?” the voice called again. This time Dean realized it was coming from the house. 

He sat up straighter and looked over his shoulder, Cas still in his lap, his head resting on Dean’s chest, supported by trembling arms. Then he remembered why Sam had left them outside; it was for what was in the cabin, Kelly and the baby. The baby! If Dean put the baby next to Cas maybe it would heal Cas by proxy. Gently, he lowered Cas back to the ground, cradling his head gently until it touched the earth. With one last look down at his fallen angel, Dean stood and started walking towards the house when two men emerged from the back door. 

Sam stood stiffly beside a young man dressed in jeans and an ugly brown jacket with a floral pattern across the back shoulders. Dean’s head involuntarily dipped forward and to the side, “Sam who the hell is that?”

“Dean,” Sam warned in a deep tone that stopped Dean in his tracks, “this is Jack.” 

“Jack?” Dean scrunched his lips, his eyebrows arched high on his forehead.

“Kelly’s son,” Sam said and indicated gently in Jack’s direction.

“That’s the-”

“Kelly’s son.” Sam finished in order to keep Dean from using any derogatory terms.

Dean wanted to start shouting about what Jack really was and what it meant for him to already be a full grown man but he knew that Sam’s calm was a mask just as his was. His fingers itched to grab at his sidearm but there was too much at stake to scare the nephilim away. He needed ‘Jack’ to stay long enough to bring back Cas. Dean took a second look at the clothing Jack was wearing frowned, they looked like old men’s clothes, wrinkled and worn. Perhaps they were left behind by the previous tenants? Or did Cas or Kelly pick them out? Unlikely, Cas and Kelly had been preparing for a baby- a newborn baby. The nursery and castle of diaper jumbo boxes a clear indicator. 

“Okay, uh, Jack…” Dean emphasized the use of the nephilim’s name but his chest still hurt and his voice was strained as he continued, “so, uh, I kinda gotta a favor to ask you… my-”

“ _You tried to kill me_.” Jack said but his lips didn’t move and Dean doubled over in pain, his hand pressed against the front of his skull. 

“What the hell was that?!” he screamed and took a step away from both Jack and Sam. 

“He doesn’t know how to talk yet…” Sam’s tone raised an octave and bounced his head around slightly.

“But he knows how to jedi mind trick us?” Dean shouted angrily, his upper lip stiff. Neither Sam or Jack said anything so Dean continued. “We didn’t want to kill anyone. We wanted everyone to live- you and your mom included. You’re the one that convinced everyone to run away- including my friend, Castiel, who is now dead. So, you gotta bring him back, Jack.” 

“ _No_.” 

“We’re the good guys, here.” Dean spread his arms wide at his sides, offering himself up. “You got mind abilities, read my mind and see if I’m lying.” 

“ _No_.”

“No?” Dean raised his eyebrows and dipped his head slightly before shifting his gaze to Sam, who shook his head subtly.

The nephilim started to walk towards Dean who side stepped by barely moving his shoulder to the side, following Jack’s movement with his eyes. The sound of grass burning caught the brothers’ attention and they looked down to see Jack leaving burnt earth in his wake. 

“Look, if you don’t do it for us- do it for Cas, he fought for you! You chose him. You have to bring him back. This isn’t how things were suppose-”

“ _Silence._ ”

Dean’s mouth snapped shut and he looked to Sam for backup but he seemed to be in a trance. While Dean watched on with desperate hope, his eyes watered slightly as he waited for Cas to suddenly rise. Jack stood over Cas with his head tilted to the side in innocent confusion and curiosity. Dean felt his chest might implode with the way his lungs constricted and his heart pounded against his ribs, he was bursting with the need to demand Cas’ life but he was also terrified of Jack’s power and what he could or couldn’t do with it. He sent out another, silent prayer to Chuck- begging for backup but nothing happened. 

Jack looked back towards Sam then at Dean before disappearing into thin air. No flapping of wings, he simply vanished like Crowley tended to do. 

Crowley- he was dead too. They’d lost everyone. Everything. With the secondary realization, Dean felt his knees go weak again as his eyes fell back to where Cas had been lying only to find Cas was also gone. The scorched wings all that remained on the ground. 

“No!” he screamed again and ran forward even though there was nothing to be done. Jack was in the wind, they’d lost it- again. And again, he’d lost Cas to the nephilim. “No no no no no… _damnit_!!”

“Dean…” Sam said softly as he came up behind Dean. 

“We’ve lost it all, Sammy… everything.” 

“I-”

Dean turned on his heel to face his brother, “Everything!!” he punched at the air let out a roar. “Crowley is dead, Mom is trapped in Mad Max Land with _Lucifer_ \- who can _probably_ just zap out of there, Cas is not only dead but the nephilim, who escaped - _by the way_ \- took him!” 

“We’ll find him-” 

“How? Huh, Sam? How? We have nothing! We have _nobody_! I mean, the only thing left in this world is us and Jody, and I’m sorry but I don’t think that’s enough to find the- -- what happened to having a _baby_?! What the hell was that about?” 

“He was fine until you started-”

Dean pointed a finger at him, jabbing at the air like it was a lance as she stepped closer to Sam. “Don’t you _dare_ make this my fault!” 

“I had everything under control! He was _just_ born and you started throwing accusations and demands at him? He’s a child-”

“No, Sam, that is not a child. That is the _real_ antichrist! We thought Jesse was bad? We just let the thing that could destroy the world poof with the _body_ -” his voice cracked, “of our… of my…”

“We can fix this. What happened to having faith?”

Dean bent at the waist and leaned closer to Sam in disbelief. “Faith? Look where that got us! Look at what’s happened here. Everyone we have ever _loved_ ,” Dean’s voice cracked again and he took a moment before continuing, “is gone.” He let out a breathy, bitter laugh through his nose and slapped a hand through the air before walking past Sam to go back into the front yard. 

Sam followed after taking one last look at the burnt wings in the grass, his lips pursing and his eyebrows furrowing. “Dean, wait…” By the time he caught up with Dean, he was already getting ready to open the driver side door to the Impala.

“What? Just get in the car, will ya?”

“Kelly is still inside…”

Dean’s expression hardened and his eyes narrowed, “and?”

Sam’s brow lowered over his eyes and his lips screwed to the side, “and we can’t leave her here, Dean.”

Dean shook his head and opened the door. “We have to start looking for the nephilim,” he said as he started to lower himself into his seat.

“Dean!” Sam called incredulously. He vaguely wondered if his hurry to leave was the only reason Dean was willing to leave Kelly. 

_Deep down_ , Sam thought, _he blames Kelly for losing Cas._

“You bury her then.” he shouted moments before slamming his door shut. 

Sam’s mouth dropped open and he looked to the sky a moment before looking around the front yard. Cas’ truck was parked up front. He sighed and opened the passenger door, then he leaned down in order to catch Dean’s gaze before diverting it over to the truck. 

Dean caught on and started the impala. “Fine,” he said gruffly and put the car into gear.

**O.o.O.o**

Sam barely had time to close the door before Dean peeled out of the driveway, gravel shooting out under the tires and grinding together, and accelerated down the street like a bat out of hell. He grimaced slightly as he watched the red lights pull out of view. Briefly, he looked back up at the sky and called for help, for anyone to come and help… even just to listen. No one came. He turned to look back at the house and felt his heart began to ache- so much death at one little cabin. The first few steps towards the house were the hardest, putting his mind to the task, but once he got started he went into auto-pilot.

He dug the grave first, having found a shovel in the cabin’s shed. The tree beside the lake seemed the best place to bury Kelly. He stood at the foot of the grave and watched the sunrise come up over the lake, the water glittered with sunlight and it made it harder to know that his mother, brother, an innocent woman, and Crowley all died that day only to be followed by something as beautiful as the sunrise. 

It seemed wrong, out of place, like the world should mourn as he and Dean were. Images of each of them dying flashed through his mind, starting with Crowley and ending with Mary’s capture. 

Sam took a shuddering breath before he turned back into the house to collect Kelly. He wrapped her in the sheet gingerly and carried her out of the cabin bridal style. It felt disrespectful to place her in the grave without a casket but there was no other choice. Before he started to push the dirt back into the grave he took a deep breath through his nose, tears brimming his eyes, and said a few words:

“Kelly…” he paused, unsure of what he could say, his brows lowering so far over his eyes he had to shutter them. “Kelly, we’ll find Jack. Dean and I… we’ll find him and we’ll take care of him. We’ll teach him right.” 

He thought back to the nursery upstairs and realized just how shocked and possibly disappointed both Kelly and Cas would be that they missed out on having a baby… the crib and the dozens of jumbo boxes of diapers gone to waste. They were planning on raising a child right, not having to teach right from the get go. But that’s what he would do, with Dean, teach. 

“I promise,” he whispered.

**O.o.O.o**

**Two Days Later (13x01):**

Sam watched Dean from the corner of the door. The eldest Winchester had yet to go to sleep or eat. The only thing Dean managed to stomach was coffee and the only thing he did was pour himself into research and using the bathroom. The research was for both alternate universes and tracking Jack. Neither was working- both required an archangel or a lot of souls, neither was available to them.

The boys had realized early on that though closing the portal to Mad Max Land was necessary it wasn’t enough to hold Lucifer- not when he could bounce between realities. That meant that Mary was trapped there on her own and Lucifer may be able to get to Jack before they could. They could only hope that AU Bobby was with Mary and try to get her out. Jack was a whole other ballgame- one that they were losing at. They were never able to find Jesse after he disappeared, Cas had warned them that would be the case but they had tried anyway- inevitably failing. If they couldn’t find a 10 year old then how were they supposed to find a being that at two days old had the capability of a twenty-five year old? 

“You just gonna stand there or help me,” Dean asked gruffly.

Sam shifted slightly in surprise and cleared his throat as he stepped away from the door frame. “Dean… uh-”

“If you’re not goin’ help, get out.” 

“I just think we need to be thinking about the other hunters, ya know,” Sam asked as he walked into the room, standing at the edge of the table where their initials were visible to him.

Dean flipped the page of one of the dozen books in front of him, not bothering to look up at him. “Why?” 

The hurt in Dean’s voice was masked with gravelly masculinity but Sam recognized it and knew that if Dean didn’t get a lead soon the coffee would turn to alcohol. Sam sniffed and leaned forward against the table. “We killed what was left of the British Men of Letters here in America- I told them that I would help to bring the same kind of order but less… you know, homicidal? We can’t leave them in the dark. And we have to consider the possibility of retaliation from-”

“Then go.” 

“Well, Dean, I want you there too.”

“I’m kinda busy, Sam.” 

Sam’s head jolted to the side. “Well, yeah I know… it’s just-”

“It’s just what, Sam? I’m busy. You’ve got this. Go.” 

“Will you be-”

“I’m fine, I’m busy, go.” 

Sam blinked wearily and diverted his gaze, looking around the bunker. “Dean,”

“I swear to- will you get outta here already?” Dean finally looked up at Sam and it took the younger brother aback. His eyes were bloodshot, his eyelids shuttered and his lips were chapped. He was dehydrated and exhausted. His unshaved face accentuated the gaunt in his cheeks- 48 hours and Dean looked like Death with a five o’clock shadow. 

Sam wanted to argue but knew that it would only cause a fight and he wanted to support Dean not force him further away. “Alright, I’ll call-”

“Whatever.” Dean dismissed him with the wave of his hand and looked back down at his book.

**O.o.O.o**

_A Day’s Drive Later_

“Sam, it’s good to see you.” Jody offered a comforting smile and spread her arms to pull him into a hug.

Sam’s face contorted as he wrestled with his emotions. “Hey, Jody.”

They pulled away from the embrace and Jody checked behind him to see the car parked in the driveway, an old blue car instead of the impala. Knowing that meant something was wrong she looked up at Sam with a worried expression. “Where’s Dean?”

He looked down before meeting her gaze again. “He’s got a lot of work to do, finding Mom and Jack and whatnot.” 

He’d called her on the way home, to fill her in but mostly to talk to someone who was willing and able to listen. During the conversation he told her about Cas and though Jody had never met him she knew that his death would be a big blow to the boys. She’d asked about the elder brother but Sam wasn’t able to express just how little he recognized of the man when he’d driven off in a hurry. That was enough for Jody, she knew what that meant. Jody had tried to contact Dean via phone but to no avail. He wouldn’t talk to anyone. She and Sam had discussed coming to the bunker but they were afraid of making him feel trapped- coddled. 

Jody frowned and her eyes crinkled at the corners, “Sam, I-”

“He’ll get through, right now he needs space. I’ve been where he is now, with Jess, and he’ll need us soon- just not yet.” Sam sucked in air through his nose as he straightened his shoulders and put his hands on his hips. “We have work to do- how many came?” 

She forced a sideways grin.“More than I expected.” 

They stepped out of the foyer into Jody’s living room and dining room, revealing a full house of hunters looking for order. Sam took a deep, calming breath before greeting them, pausing only when a familiar blond stepped into view. Claire offered one of her somber smirks before nodding her respect and standing at the front of the crowd to listen to Sam.

**O.o.O.o**

The other hunters had left, the house empty aside from Sam, Jody, and Claire- Alex was away at college. They stood in the living room while Jody worked on dinner in the kitchen.

“So, where’s Dean?” Claire asked and folded her arms against her chest.

“Back at the bunker,” Sam replied and nodded his head in the general direction the bunker was, as if that helped her understand.

She nodded and sighed. “Jody told me about what happened.”

Sam narrowed his eyes and drew his lips into a fine line. “What did she tell you?” 

“Just that you guys saved the world by closing an alternate universe, trapped Lucifer inside, and a little bit about your mom and the nephilim.” 

“Yeah, uh,” Sam took a deep breath. 

“That’s pretty crazy about your mom, by the way.” 

Sam nodded. “Yeah, Dean’s working on a way to get her back…”

“No, I mean about her being alive… and nearly the same age as you and Dean. That’s more fucked up than my dad and Castiel.” 

“Oh,” Sam exaggerated an amused frown and nodded his head about aimlessly, “yeah, that took a second to get used to.”

Claire frowned. “Sorry, I don’t mean to make things worse.” 

“No, it’s- it’s fine…” 

“Where is Castiel? Can’t he help? And before you say anything; ‘yes, I’m okay with him being around’. It helps to know that my dad is in heaven with my mom… now it’s just like pretending that Castiel is my dad’s weird, long-lost, twin brother. He texts me all the time- have you ever actually texted the dork? He uses more emoji’s than he does words!”

Sam forced a sad smile at her joke but giving her the news after she just came to terms with her relationship with Cas made his heart ache. “Claire…” 

Her smile fell and her brows furrowed, her breath hitching before she muttered a small, “No…” 

“Claire, I’m sorry.”

With a deep frown turning at her lips, Claire’s eyes darted around the room as she fought tears. She swallowed with difficulty as she looked at the ground. The tears brimming her eyes spilled over and trickled down her cheek but she didn’t bother to brush them away. “But… how? He’s an angel, he can’t… Sam?”

“I’m so sorry, Claire. I know how- you meant to so much to him, Claire. He loved you. He’d want you to remember that.”

She threw herself into his chest, her face buried into his shirt so the fabric could soak up her tears. After she stopped trembling and her smother cries turned into sniffles, she pulled away and looked up at Sam, her eyebrows shooting up on her forehead as something occurred to her: “That’s why Dean isn’t here.” 

Sam swallowed hard and nodded. “Yeah, that’s part of it.” 

“What can I do?” she managed, clearing her throat to make her voice stronger. 

He smiled and pulled her into another hug, holding the back of her head with one hand the other pressed between her shoulder blades. It didn’t take long before she embraced him in return, clasping her hands behind his back. 

“We’ll let you know, Claire. I’m sorry.” 

“Not as sorry as I am...” she sniffled, “and I know how close the three of you were. Especially Dean.” 

They pulled apart and Claire wiped at her damp cheeks, sniffling while still trying to hide her pain at the loss of the angel that she once hated. 

“We’ll get through this. I was telling Jody, that you two should visit the bunker soon. Dean would appreciate it… we both would.”

She nodded, “Of course… anything.” 

They smiled at one another just as Jody came out, her hands on her hips. 

“Alright, kids, dinner.” she announced. Claire led the way into the kitchen followed by Sam. As the tallest member of the house passed Jody, she placed a hand on his arm. “You’ll take the leftovers home… and you make sure Dean eats it- all of it.”

Sam smiled and nodded and the two of them went into the kitchen and sat at the table. 

“How are _you_ , Sam?”

Sam scooped mashed potatoes on his plate while taking a deep, calming breath. “A day at a time, I guess. I just know there’s a lot to be done and I know soon that Dean is going to need someone. I need to be there for him.”

“Well, don’t forget to take care of yourself too.” Jody replied and passed the green beans to Claire who started to scoop her serving out. 

“I know, I am... “

“Good.” Jody smiled and Sam smiled in a return, a sad lopsided grin that just a little too forced.

**O.o.O.o**

_A Day’s Drive Back_

Sam pulled the old blue car back into the garage, put it in park, and threw himself back against the seat, slumping slightly. He looked over at the care package that Jody had sent, mostly leftover food from dinner the other day, some magazines, and a new tin of coffee. With a deep breath, knowing that when he walked into the bunker that he would find Dean in one of the stages of grief - and fearing to what degree - he steeled himself, grabbed the package, and got out of the car. He looked over the other cars and saw the impala was still here and gave Cas’ truck a look over.

He was about to open the door into the bunker when he backpedaled and noticed a person sitting in the driver’s seat of the beat up truck. 

His heart sank to his stomach and flopped there like a fish out of water. He swallowed with difficulty and walked over to the truck to open the passenger side door. The old truck creaked as the door swung on its hinges but Dean didn’t look up. Music was playing gently from the speakers but Sam wasn’t convinced that Dean was listening; his eyes staring up at the stained upholstery on the roof of the car- years of the previous owners smoking staining what was once an off white to a gross yellow. 

“Dean?” 

The elder brother’s eyes half blinked but there was little else that hinted at Dean hearing Sam. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Sam offered, his eyes twitching slightly.

“It hurts, Sam.” 

Sam blanched and blinked in surprise. He didn’t actually expect Dean to talk. He opened his mouth to respond after his brain caught up but before he could say anything Dean continued. 

“It’s different this time, you know? I hurt somethin’ awful when you died… each time. It hurt just as bad each time I thought I lost you. It felt like ice in my heart and I… I just constantly felt this sick feeling. The same with Bobby and Dad. But I just kinda ‘fixed it’, ya know, with anger and revenge… and alcohol.”

Dean was still staring at the ceiling. The music, Led Zeppelin, played through the speakers and threatened to drown out Dean’s ever softening voice. Sam wanted to make this moment easier for Dean but wasn’t sure how to do it. Get in the car? Offer to go inside and get drinks? But he couldn’t bring himself to talk- Dean needed this. If he was being true to himself, so did he. So he stayed quiet. He didn’t get in the car, he didn’t put the food on the seat, and he didn’t shift his weight from one foot to the other. Sam stood still and listened. 

“Right now, with Cas gone, it hurts. It hurts so goddamn much. It’s never hurt this bad.”

He wanted to ask Dean to elaborate but he knew the explanation was coming. That didn’t keep him from tilting his head or swallowing thickly- a lump forming as he witnessed this vulnerable moment. One that he hadn’t seen from Dean since he first told Sam about what hell was like for him- about how he tortured souls.

Tears pricked at Dean’s eyes and as he continued to talk, some spilled over. “It feels like something inside me is missing, like there’s this gaping hole somewhere inside. I can’t explain it, Sammy, it just hurts so bad.”

“Listen, Dean…” he found himself talking before he realized he was prepared to. Dean looked over at him and Sam flinched, his lips pursing slightly and brows pushing together. He couldn’t stop now, Dean needed to hear something reassuring. With a pang of dread, he found that he didn’t have those words right now.

“There was so much I didn’t say. I just kept thinking there would be a better time- I should have learned my lesson after Purgatory. Should have known that I had to pick the right time… that it wouldn’t present itself on a platter. Not for us. There was always something or someone in the way...”

Sam narrowed his eyes and a frown tugged at his lips. He wasn’t sure what Dean was talking about right now.

“And I keep playing this over and over in my head and I keep trying to figure out if I could have done something else. I mean… why did he come in? That wasn’t the plan. It wasn’t supposed to happen like that!”

Sam opened his mouth and then snapped it shut when Dean jerked suddenly, his body stiffening as he turned to face Sam fully in his seat.

“Why did you pull me out of there- he needed me and I could have stayed with him. I could have had his back!” 

“Dean…” his mind flashed images of Jess in flames 12 years ago and Dean pulling him away from the love of his life as she died. He remembered how remorseful Dean was and how patient he was while Sam mourned. Sam had blamed Dean at first because he believed he could have saved her. Even then as he lashed out at Dean all that time ago, he still knew deep down that Dean had done the right thing but he needed answers- needed to understand. 

That’s what Dean needed now.

“If you’d just let me stay he’d be alive… and maybe Mom would still be here.” 

Sam bowed his head, his eyes glassy. 

“I’m sorry…” he laughed bitterly when he saw Sam’s expression. “It’s not your fault, Sam. I’m sorry,” he sighed. “It’s not your fault,” he repeated and it was in the same tone, it almost sounded like a skip in Dean’s track. 

“It’s okay, Dean. I-”

“No, it’s not. It’s not okay, Sam. He was your best friend too.” Dean huffed and fell back against the seat, leaning his head back as a strange sound came from his throat. “Sammy, why can’t we catch a break? Just once I want to win and not have to keep fighting right after. Can’t we just catch a fucking break?”

The tape clicked in the tape deck and they both glanced at it briefly as it was ejected from the mouth in the dash- waiting patiently to be turned to side two in order to play more music. Sam looked at the writing on the tape and his left eye twitched as his brow came together- he didn’t recognize the tape, it wasn’t one of Dean’s usual collection but it said his name and he could make out “Zepp” under it. 

_When did he make that_? Sam wondered.

Dean pulled on his ear and pushed the door open to get out.

“Where are you going?” Sam asked and closed his door in unison with Dean slamming his shut. 

“To get a drink.” 

“Dean, wait-” he followed his brother to the bunker, realizing in silence that he hadn’t been much more than an ear for Dean. Which was important but he wanted to support Dean as well- give him words to bring him up. “Dean, Jody and Claire-”

“Yeah, I’ll call ‘em later.” Dean dismissed as they walked into the war room.

Sam looked up into the library and blinked wearily, it was like a tornado went through. Books lay in piles on the floor and opened articles and journals lay open on the table, covering it corner to corner. While he had been gone it seemed that Dean had delved so far into research that he neglected to keep organized.

“I know where everything is,” Dean mumbled as though reading Sam’s thoughts.

“Okay, well,” Sam cleared his throat as he stepped over a wall of books, “Jody sent some food over, you want me to warm it up for you?”

“Not hungry.”

“You have to eat.”

“I ate while you were gone.” Dean replied as he sat down at the table and started to read one of the open books.

 _Liar_ , Sam thought. 

“What did you eat?” 

Dean rolled his eyes before looking up at his brother, who still held the care package in his hands. “Does it matter?”

“Yes.”

Pushing his lower lip out he thought seriously about it. “mac n cheese,” he finally stated.

“We don’t have mac n cheese.” Sam said, his face unflinching, calling Dean’s bluff.

“I bought some.” he said gruffly. 

Sam sighed and shook his head. “Dean-”

“Sam.” Dean slammed his hand on the book but didn’t look up, instead he was staring at a spot on the table. Despite the show of force, his voice was soft- imploring. “I get what you’re trying to do… thank you, really. Just… leave me alone, please.”

Sam took in a deep breath through his nose and nodded though he knew that Dean couldn’t see the gesture. “I’ll, uh, I’ll be in the kitchen. Okay?”

“Yeah.” 

He turned to leave his mind racing. He understood now why Dean was suffering so much. The question was; tell Dean or not to? He wasn’t sure which would make it easier for him to grieve and move on. Dean clearly didn’t realize that he didn’t lose just his best friend, he lost his partner.


	2. 13x03

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some angst, brother bonding moments, and finally catching a lead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I "skip an episode" that means it was a filler for the season. Some silly or angsty episode where they do a "typical" case but there's really no mention of main plot just sad looks or risky behavior due to grief. You know, the usual. Remember; it's a _fast forward_ , I'm not creative enough to make up the WHOLE season, cases and all. 
> 
> Anyway,
> 
> *I'll be honest, I don't have an editor, so sorry in advance for any grammar mistakes.*

**Two Weeks Later (13x03)**

Dean was exhausted, he walked into his room and dumped his dufflebag right beside the door. His feet dragged as he walked over to his bed and slumped onto it, sitting on the side. They’d followed a lead on Jack but it ended up being a powerful witch that nearly killed both him and Sam. Ultimately, another dead end. A waste of time. 

Last week had been just as pointless; a typical vamp case that Sam insisted Dean go on to ‘clear his mind’. Nothing felt right though. He was simply tired- not just physically but mentally… emotionally drained. It took everything he had to get out of bed in the morning, everything. Sam tried to be supportive and understanding and Dean hated that he was too caught up in his own grief that he couldn't help Sam. He knew that his brother was suffering the same but he couldn't bring himself to do much more than keep himself alive and look for answers to Jack or keeping an eye out for Lucifer to resurface. 

He unlaced his boots and fell backwards onto the mattress. A shower was needed but he could barely move.

His eyes drifted partway closed and he blinked wearily up at the ceiling. He hated to sleep but he needed it. Normally he would drink himself into a coma but he couldn’t bring himself to walk back out to grab a bottle. His legs still hanging off the edge of the bed, socked feet planted on the ground, Dean closed his eyes and went to sleep.

As usual, dreams alluded him. When he slept there was only darkness. Pitch black all around. When he called out it was flat and so muted he felt no one could hear him even if they were right beside him. Still, he called out. Furthermore, he searched. He knew where he was. He was in “the empty” but he was looking for someone. His someone. Cas.

“Cas!?” he cried out, again his voice felt thick in his throat and barely seemed to make it past his lips before it died.

Each night, for weeks, he looked; reaching for Cas to reveal himself. Any sign that angels do not extinguish like stars upon death. He needed to know that he could bring Cas back. Somehow, someway.

“Cas, please!” he prayed.

A flash of light appeared before him and he flinched at first then watched in horror as his mind replayed Cas’ death in front of him. The pained gasp from Cas’ parted lips filled the space around him and initiated the transformation of darkness. As though looking through water, the darkness faded and he became surrounded by grass and trees. He didn’t have to turn to know that the cabin was right behind him. 

Dean blinked at Cas was in front of him, light emanating from his eyes, mouth, and wound in his chest. A strangled, pained gasp could be heard over Dean’s own screams. The light extinguished and Cas’ flaccid body began to slump to the ground.

He reached out and grabbed Cas’ body before it hit the ground, collecting him in his arms and holding his friend close to his chest as he lowered them both to the ground. Lucifer vanished in a bright display of orange light and he was alone in the yard again. Cas’ head lolled to rest on Dean’s shoulder, his cheek pressed up against him. Dean shuddered and tightened his grip on Cas, one hand cradling Cas’ head while the other wrapped around Cas’ waist.

He hated this. This happened anytime he was asleep and he didn’t think he could take it much longer. He looked up at the sky but it was pitch black- no stars like when it happened for real. He looked back down to find his arms empty and he was once again surrounded in a vast nothingness.

Dean closed his eyes and tried to picture a better time, anything else to occupy his mind as he slept. He pictured a diner, then a bar, and finally a shabby motel room. He’d rather be anywhere but at the lake or in the darkness. It never worked but if he closed his eyes against the darkness he could pretend. 

“Dean…” a voice called.

He shook his head and closed his eyes tighter as faces of those he lost started to overtake his images of ‘happy places’. 

“Dean, open your eyes.” it was Cas’ voice, deep and gravelly. 

Instinctively he listened to Cas’ request and found that he was in the bunker, standing in a bedroom. At first he thought he’d woken up but then he realized that it wasn’t his room but Cas’ room. Empty and hardly used but it smelled like the angel and a trench coat was draped over the back of the office chair. He knew for a fact that in the real world the jacket was MIA along with Jack. 

He turned around and came face to face with Cas. His breath left him in one pathetic wheeze as he stared into Cas’ blue eyes.

“Hello, Dean…” Cas said softly.

Dean looked his friend up and down, his coat was gone as was his tie, his shirt unbuttoned two down to expose just enough chest. He licked his lips and his eyes twitched into a squint. “Cas,” he greeted breathily.

Cas nodded somberly, his hands at his sides.

“Man, tell me you’re alive. Tell me that I can get you back…”

“I’m with Jack.” Cas replied simply. His eyes narrowed and he looked down at the ground. “I heard you calling for me.”

Dean tilted his head forward, his neck craning. “You heard me? Cas, I’ve been prayin’ for weeks! Where have you been?”

“It’s hard for me to- Jack knows everything I do and it’s hard to get away.”

“So, you are alive? Is Jack...” Dean hesitated, fearing the answer, "is he hurtin' you? Controlling you?" 

"No, I'm not being brainwashed." 

"Then come home!"

"I can't, I need to stay with Jack." 

Dean shook his head and turned his head away momentarily. "Does he know that you're talking to me?" 

“He’s busy.”

Dean laughed bitterly and ran a hand across his mouth. “Cas, man, you gotta give me something. Where are you?”

“I can't tell you that.”

“Why?”

“Stay away, Dean.” 

“Cas!” 

Before he could stop himself, Dean lurched forward and grabbed Cas by his shoulders, holding him tightly in both hands. It felt real and he couldn’t be sure if that was better or worse for his constitution. 

“Dean, let me go.” When Dean released Cas’ shoulders, the angel continued, “No… _let me go_. Stop looking for Jack and I. Focus on whatever you need to focus on; hunting, settling down, it doesn’t matter. You just have to stop. Move on.”

“Cas… no.” Dean shook his head and reached for Cas again. “Please, man, I need you.” 

“You’ve never needed me, Dean. You could always handle things on your own. There is no ‘end is nigh’, you don’t need an angel ‘in your corner’. Jack is under control. Live your life.”

Dean shook his head, his chest heaving. “I don’t need you behind me, Cas. I need you _beside me_. I need you because… because… I _need_ you!” his voice broke as he pleaded with Cas, needing him to understand what he was saying. 

Cas narrowed his eyes and tilted his head slightly as he studied Dean’s desperate expression. 

“How can I make you understand?” Dean muttered under his breath before stepping closer to Cas. “Just come home, please? Tell me where you are. We’ll take Jack with us. I’ll protect you both.” 

“I don’t need your protection, Dean.” 

“Dammit, Cas!” 

“I just wanted you to know that I’m alive.” 

Dean ran his hand down his face as he released his hold around Cas’ wrist. A bitter laugh escaped his throat and he swallowed against it, nearly choking on it. “And that’s supposed to make me feel better? I just want you back, Cas… please.”

Cas blinked rapidly and his expression changed to one of slight panic. He shifted his gaze around the room then focused back on Dean with a contrite frown. “I’m sorry, Dean.” 

“Cas? Cas!” Dean screamed and moved to grab him again only to suddenly wake in his bed, Sam at his side. 

He looked frantically around the room and found that he was in his own, he was still half hanging off the bed. Sam was leaning over him, a concerned look on his face. “Hey, did you fall asleep like this?” the shaggy haired brother asked.

Dean nodded as he sat up and wiped at his forehead with his palm. He was beaded with sweat. Taking a calming breath he looked up at Sam and shook his head. “Cas…”

“I know, Dean, I know…”

“No, you don’t.” he replied gruffly and stood suddenly, walking to stand in the center of the room. 

“What?” Sam asked his expression incredulous. 

“Sammy, Cas is alive.”

Sam’s mouth dropped open as he took a silent breath, his eyes diverting from Dean’s to look at a random spot on the ground. 

“I’m not crazy and this isn’t grief. Sam, he’s alive. He came to me.”

Unsure of what to do with his hands, Sam rubbed at his nose with his thumb and nodded. “Okay,” he complied, “what did he say?”

Dean’s expression changed from hopeful to somber and his eyes dropped to the ground as he blinked. “Nothin’ really…” he replied and raised his gaze to meet Sam’s, his brow arched.

“Dean,”

“He’s with Jack but he won’t tell me where or why he won’t come home.” 

“Okay, so maybe they just need-”

“No,” Dean pointed a finger at Sam, “no, we have to find him. He gotta bring ‘im home.” His finger went from pointing at Sam's chest to pointing at the floor when he said home to emphasize the idea of ‘here, with him’.

Sam nodded his head, slowly at first then firmly. “Yeah, okay. Let’s find him.”

**O.o.O.o**

The library was back to normal- organized and clean. They sat across from one another at the table, their carved initials sitting between them in plain sight.

“Sam,” Dean said after hours of silence as they both researched separately on their own laptops. Dean had a glass of water and a plate of eggs and bacon beside his keyboard. 

Sam looked up from his screen and nodded his acknowledgement. His eyes flicked to the half-eaten breakfast and he smiled subtly. Dean had yet to finish anything Sam put in front of him. It wasn't that Dean was refusing food it was that he couldn't. His grief stealing Dean’s usual insatiable appetite. 

He turned his computer around so the screen faced Sam and then lifted it to hand it to his brother. Sam took it and watched the police camera video. It was a raw video from a police dashcam of a young man rescuing a couple from a robbery. The police are running forward to intervene when the man steps in the way- taking two gunshots to the chest from the criminal’s gun. He then places a hand on the top of the criminal’s head and the criminal vanishes into thin air. The young man looks over at the cops who start ordering in another language that he get on the ground and then he too vanishes. 

“Where is that?” Sam asked as he handed the computer back to Dean who appeared indifferent but his eyes were lit with excitement.

“Rome.” he replied without taking the computer back and instead leaned back in his chair. “What does that look like to you?”

“Some angel nonsense.” Sam said and looked at the screen again, clearly having missed something that had Dean so happy.

“Mhmm, and when’s the last time angels did anything but sit on their clouds upstairs?”

“Well, trying to kill Kelly… but not since then.”

“Right… but,” Dean shrugged and pushed out his lower lip slightly, “that particular ‘angel’ look like anyone we know?”

Sam squinted and zoomed in on a freeze frame. His eyes went wide and his mouth fell open. “Jack.” he breathed.

Dean smirked outright, his eyes twinkling. “We found him.” He grabbed a strip of bacon and started to eat it.

“He’s in Rome? How’d you find him?” Sam asked, his eyes bouncing between Deans chewing mouth and his eyes.

“I figured that the world is this guy’s oyster. Why stay in America?”

“Why Rome?”

Dean shrugged and retook his computer as he finished the last bite of bacon. “Dunno, I was just searching for anything in any country and found this.” 

“When did it happen?” 

Dean smiled again and it made Sam smile. This was the first time he’d seen so much of positive emotion for Dean since ‘that night’. The only time he smiled was when he was ‘undercover’ on a case. It was never genuine- just a mask that Dean doned to get the job done. This was so much more. This was real and it brought relief to Sam.

“This morning. Cas said that Jack was ‘busy’ and that’s why he was able to reach out to me. Jack was busy doing _this_.” Dean indicated to the computer, a smile still playing subtly at the corners of his mouth.

Sam rose a cautious eyebrow and frowned, “yeah, smiting people.”

“No, saving people.”

“That criminal-”

“-appeared in the back of the cop car. Alive.” Dean said with a smirk, “Cas has him on the right path, let’s bring them home.”

**O.o.O.o**

On the way to the airport, Dean was driving with a far away look in his eye. They used one of the beaters from the garage- one for just an occasion as this; abandoning it. It clunked during straight aways and squealed during left turns but it was getting them from A to B and that’s all that mattered.

Sam’s mouth opened and closed a few times before he finally took a deep breath and said what was on his mind. “Listen, Dean... you should prepare yourself.”

Dean didn’t look at him or say anything in response but his eyes flicked slightly so Sam knew he was listening.

“It’s great that you got this lead on Jack and Cas, really. But they can poof in and out of wherever they like at anytime. This is going to be an eleven hour flight, if not more… I mean, the trail is-”

“We have to try, Sammy.” 

“I know, I’m with you, just-”

“It’s all I can think about.” Dean said softly, blinking slowly, eyes on the road. “I gotta get him back.” 

Sam watched his brother’s profile, witnessed the repeated clenching of his jaw. “We will… okay? I’m just saying that we should be prepared that it will take time. We won’t find him by tomorrow, Dean.”

“I know.” Dean replied gruffly.

Sam sucked his lips between his teeth and pushed his hair back as he nodded.

The ride was silent for another few minutes before Dean spoke up, his voice quiet but gruff. “I love you.”

Sam’s head twitched before he managed to look at him. His brow furrowed deep, creasing his forehead. 

“I don’t say it enough- _ever_ , really. I’m sorry about that. But you know… you know that I love you, right?”

“Yeah, Dean, of course.” Sam said gently, his lips turned into a sympathetic smile. Dean sighed but he was still tense, his jaw still clenched. Sam swallowed before continuing, “I know because you don’t have to say it Dean. It’s great to hear, don’t get me wrong, but we show our love through actions and name calling. We always have.” he finished with a shrug. 

Dean pulled the car into the parking lot and turned off the car. He looked out his window but his breathing was shaky. 

“Cas knew it too.” Sam added, knowing it to be part of the tension. He’d been between the two of them long enough to know how far back Dean and Cas’ love for one another stretched back. He’d seen it long before they even knew it to be possible but never would he have guessed just how deep that attachment was. 

“How could he? All I’ve ever showed him was-” Dean shook his head and swallowed thickly, “he thought I didn’t trust him… that I didn’t believe in him.”

“You know that’s not true.”

“Isn’t it? He told us that he loved us and I just stood there. He’s given everything for us- for me… _everything_. What have I done in return, I mean, _really_ done? I disagree with him, I fight him-”

“Yeah, well you and I fight more often than not. We’re family! That’s what we do. And I love you for more than just because ‘you’re my brother and I have to’... it’s because,” he took a deep breath and turned to face Dean more in his seat, “-because you’re a good man. You give and you give and all you ask in return is for the universe to let us have our family.”

Dean scoffed.

“I know it’s never been gifted but I’ve never seen you give up. You pretend to by slowing your efforts. But you never _truly_ give up. You are loved, Dean. _I_ love you- even if I don’t say it to you, Jerk.” 

No response, just a slight laugh through his nose. 

“It’s nice to be reminded of that love but devotion is more powerful, in my opinion, and I know that that’s what we share. And you give that to Cas just as much as he gave it to you.” 

Dean shifted his gaze away from Sam again, swallowing against the lump in his throat. 

“The three of us are... “ he exhaled sharply through his nose, “we are so fucked up. We’ve ended the world, we sell our souls, and we went so far off Destiny’s script it almost broke reality but we keep it together. And you know what? We stayed together. We’ve all made mistakes, Cas too, but you always took him back. Always. You don’t think that he noticed that? The angels didn’t even let him do that- not without reprogramming him or brainwashing. You accepted him, forgave him, even when you were still hurting. You love him.”

Dean’s head bowed so that it nearly touched the glass of his window, his mouth turned down so far into a frown Sam thought his face might crack. Despite the frown, Dean’s shoulders relaxed slightly and he slumped in his seat. Sam could see the weight roll off of him and it was a relief to them both. 

“Now, let’s go get the son of a bitch, bring him home, and you can tell him yourself.” Sam added.

With a deep breath and without wiping at his wet cheeks, Dean nodded and opened his door. Once his brother was out of the car, Sam leaned back in his seat a little. Finally, he found the words to bring Dean up. Give him hope. There was still room for healing but this was another good step. He opened his door and got out of the car, grabbing his bag out of the back seat. Dean looked at him over the roof of the car, his eyes saying more than words ever could, and Sam smiled. 

“Bitch.” he mumbled.

“I love you too.”

Dean harrumphed and started walking towards the airport entrance and Sam followed beside him.

**O.o.O.o**

The plane was in the air, lift off was bumpy but Dean was leaning back with his eyes closed though not asleep. He sat at the aisle seat, but seemed completely at ease, nothing like the last two times they’d been on a plane. If Sam didn’t know better, he’d say that Dean was not at all thinking about where he was; in a plane, in the sky.

A stewardess came over and smiled fondly at Dean. Her dark hair was pulled back into a bun but wispy curls fell around her face. As she leaned down, her name tag on her chest became very clear and came directly into Dean’s view- her name was Alice. 

The eldest opened his eyes and smiled politely and took the offered bag of chips. Still, he may as well have waved off her flirty smile and lingering touch as she passed them to him. Sam couldn’t help it, he chuckled as he did a double take between their faces; her’s surprised and slightly offended while Dean’s was dispassionate. Dean opened his chips with a quick thank you and turned on his personal tv attached to the back of the seat in front of him.

Sam took his offered chips and ordered a soda then watched Dean a moment longer. While Dean surfed movies to buy, Sam thought about how far his brother had come in the last two and a half weeks. It started at the bunker when they’d been locked in; he’d opened up about what he wanted. Soon after is when they lost their friends but, despite the setback, Dean’s personal growth didn’t stop there. Earlier, Dean opened up about his feelings, again. Now, with an attractive woman, Dean’s type to top it off, standing in his face, Dean couldn’t be bothered. His brother’s mask was removed and he was seeing the real Dean better than he’d seen him when the witch had hexed him and erased his memory. Granted, he wasn’t as happy go lucky, he was still somber, but he was open and that was more beautiful than any smile Dean could muster. 

“Will ya quit starin’ at me? It’s creepy.” Dean muttered as he placed headphones over his ears. 

Sam grimaced before nodding his head to the side to look out the window.

**O.o.O.o**

Sam and Dean walked down the sidewalk, dodging shoulders in the crowd as they kept an eye out. Cars rushed by on the brick road and made risky turns on the roundabout. The steady motion and voices around them created a reverberating white noise as they walked shoulder to shoulder.

“So, how are you doin’?” Dean asked as they stopped at a crosswalk.

Sam turned his lips down in an exaggerated, dismissive expression. “I dunno, fine, I guess. Why?”

“Well…” Dean shrugged, “I’ve been spending so much time focusing on getting Cas and Mom back I haven’t stopped to see how you were doin’ with everything.”

Taking a deep breath, Sam nodded as they started to walk when the signal activated. “Same as you, I guess. I’ve had things to focus on; hunters, Cas… Jack.”

“Yeah.”

“I’m just glad we finally have a lead.”

Dean smirked and nodded. “Just as long as you’re okay.”

“Yeah, Dean, I’m good. Thanks.”

They walked in silence again, on their way to a motel. When they stood in front of a tall, 14 story building they gawked. The carved stone masonry exterior was unlike anything they’d stopped to look at before. It was more intricate than any of the oldest buildings in the thirteen colonies. There was a doorman posted at the revolving door dressed to the nines and standing to rival the Queen’s Guards. 

“ _This_ is a ‘shabby motel’?” 

Sam nodded. “Yeah, I guess so. It was the cheapest one!”

“Well,” Dean took a deep breath, “when it Rome.” 

Sam laughed and they both walked inside, escorted by the doorman. 

After checking in and escorted to their room, they took a moment to appreciate the beds and bathroom. Memory foam mattresses with towel swans sitting in the center were the first thing that grabbed their attention, both raising eyebrows and fake frowning in their surprise; Dean was the first to notice that the swans had chocolates nested in them. The carpets, including under the bed, were clean. The walls were painted instead of wallpapered and it had a flatscreen TV instead of a tube. 

“Dude, Rome is awesome!” Dean laughed as he went into the bathroom.

Sam chuckled and settled at the decent sized table in the kitchenette. He pulled out his laptop and started to plug it into the wall when he realized the foreign outlet. Internally facepalming himself, Sam started to open drawers; wondering if, in all the hospitality, the hotel would have provided an adapter for it. When he found one in the bedside table, he smiled and set up his laptop at the table. As he started to search for more leads, Dean came out of the bathroom with wide eyes.

Having not looked up at his brother when he came out, Sam started to talk, his eyes glued to the computer screen. “So, we have to be careful. We don’t know how much the British Men of Letters have an influence on out here- they could be…” he looked up and saw Dean’s face and faltered. “What’s wrong?”

“The toilet… it uh, it squirted me.”

Sam’s brow went from furrowed to relaxing into amusement. He chuckled and leaned back in his chair. “They have a bidet?”

“It’s a toilet that squirts!”

Sam nodded, an ear to ear grin on his face.

**O.o.O.o**

Dean typed furiously at his keyboard while Sam talked; “Okay, so over the past couple days, Jack’s been busy. I mean, he’s stopped crimes in progress, he’s kept them from happening period, he’s healed the hurt or wounded, and he’s even sent an entire warehouse of sex traffickers to jail while simultaneously dropping the women off at the hospital. He’s a regular Jesus Christ without all the followers.”

“Don’t compare Jack to Jesus… it’s weird.”

“I’m just saying, he’s on a roll.”

“Yeah, and the point is that you’ve found a pattern, right?”

Sam scratched at his ear and nodded slightly irritated. “Yeah, of course.”

“And?” Dean continued to question without stopping his own research on his laptop, his eyes darting back and forth. 

“And I’ve got a search area to work with.” 

“Good, the sooner we track them down the better.” Dean mumbled and then outstretched his hand, waggling his fingers. 

Sam handed his laptop over to his brother’s waiting hand and leaned back in his chair. Dean looked at Sam’s screen before starting a new search on his laptop. As Dean did his part in finding Cas and Jack, Sam wiped a hand down the front of his face before he hufffed and stood up from his chair. He walked over to one of the mattresses and flopped down on it, belly down. He only got a few hours in before Dean woke him up by kicking his foot that hung off the side of the bed. 

With a bright smile on his face, Dean waited until his brother turned over to announce the good news. “I found him.”

While they packed, the eldest Winchester explained why he knew it was Cas. “He was never any good at picking alias’. I mean, ‘Agent Beyonce’?” 

Sam chuckled.

“Anyway, ‘David Bowie’,” Dean continued, “that’s gotta be him. He’s getting better but not good enough.”

“You don’t think it could be anyone else?”

“Who else would be that blatant with an alias?”

Sam threw his backpack over his shoulder and shrugged. “I’m not arguing. Let’s go.”

Dean was already by the door, waiting impatiently like a puppy ready for a walk; his eyes wide and practically bouncing on his toes as he waved his hand in a circular motion at Sam, attempting to get him to hurry up. The eagerness from the eldest was intense and his brother only hoped that they wouldn't be disappointed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will have some action, sorry these last couple chapters have been so slow... I need Dean to mourn like a widow before I bring Cas back for real!


	3. 13x04

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When in Rome... Dean and Sam track down Cas and Jack and a confrontation ensues, feelings are exposed, and a cryptic message is revealed.

** (13x04) **

Dean and Sam stood outside the door that ‘David Bowie’ had rented out. Dean held the keycard that he’d swiped from the maid’s cart and he held it up to Sam is a semi dramatic form before inserting it in the vertical slot and opening the door slowly. They stepped inside, Dean lead the way and turned past the small foyer of the exquisite suite to find Cas sitting on a slept in bed reading a book with a brow arched high on his forehead.

When Dean saw Cas he froze. He couldn’t explain the feeling, seeing Cas sitting on the bed with an expression he’d seen a thousand times before, doing something so simple as reading a book- it was surreal. He was really there. It was really him. Cas was alive. Dean felt he could explode. He’d be mad if he wasn’t so relieved.

“Cas?” Dean called.

“Dean? Sam,” Cas looked up with slight surprise and looked between the two brothers.

Dean took another couple steps forward as Cas put down his book and stood up. Their eyes locked on one anothers and the tension was palpable. 

“What are you doing here?” the angel asked.

“What am I doing here? I’m here to get you, Cas!”

“How did you find us?”

Sam looked around the room then back at Cas. “‘Us’? Is Jack here?”

“No, he’s busy.”

Dean’s eyes hadn’t left Cas, they darted around as he studied Cas’ appearance. As he was in the dream, he didn’t wear the tie or the trenchcoat. His dress shirt was unbuttoned two down and he looked as disheveled as he had when Dean had found him with April after the fall of the angels. He looked languid and it worried him. 

“Yeah,” Dean managed, his voice rougher than intended, “you’ve said that before. You failed to mention that he was busy saving the world.”

Cas tipped his head slightly, squinting his eyes. “What does that matter?”

“What does it- Cas, we had no idea what to expect from him. We were half waiting for the world to go up in flames.”

“I told you that he wasn’t evil.” Cas replied defensively. 

Dean rubbed the back of his neck and groaned.

“We know that’s what you said, Cas.” Sam intervened but didn’t move closer. “But after you died, I went into the house and he was already full grown and capable. He disappeared before we could even talk to him.” 

“After he said that he wouldn’t bring you back.” Dean added painfully.

Cas’ eye twitched and he diverted his gaze to the ground.

“Look, Cas, man, I’m not here to fight. I’m not even mad, okay? I- I’m here.” Dean stepped closer.

The angel looked up but didn’t make direct eye contact. “You shouldn’t have come.”

“Why not?” Sam asked as Dean flinched, his lips parting and eyes fluttering.

“Jack is doing good for the world but he doesn’t trust you. He won’t like that you’re here. He could-”

“But we are here, Cas. I’m here. For you.” Dean pleaded and gained Cas’ attention; ocean blue meeting forest green. 

There was an unspoken conversation in their prolonged gaze, one that Sam couldn’t translate this time. 

“We never wanted to hurt Jack, we tried to tell him that.” Sam injected himself back into the conversation- breaking the silence. “We wanted everyone to live, we wanted to believe that Jack could do good and we were right- Cas, _you_ were right.”

A gust of wind blew through the window and filled the silence that fell on the room, the white curtains billowed at the open window and the papers of Cas’ book flapped. 

“Now, let us help. We can help. We’re here.” 

“Why?” Cas asked, turning his attention back to Dean.

“Do you really need to ask me that?” Dean huffed, shaking his head as he tilted it to the side.

Cas rolled his eyes and turned a shoulder to Dean. “You don’t ‘need’ me, Dean. I’m just a burden to you, I try to help but I just seem to keep messing things up for everyone- especially you.” he finished by looking Dean in the eye and the Winchester’s face dropped and shoulders sagged at the confession. Cas looked back at the ground and sighed, “That’s why I have to stay here, with Jack. At least with him I can serve a purpose- he needs me.” 

Dean took another step forward, he was just out of arm’s length now. “Cas,” he tried to get his attention when Cas diverted his gaze again, looking forlorn at the hardwood floor. “Cas, look at me.”

With hesitation, Cas raised his eyes which were heavy with regret. 

“That’s on me. I’m sorry that I wasn’t there the way that I should have been. That I didn’t love you the way I should have. I’m horrible at it, I know. Ask Sam! But Cas, I don’t need you because I need ‘an angel in my corner’. I don’t need you to serve some ‘purpose’. I need you for you. You’re- Castiel, you’re my best friend. All I want you to do is… stay. Come home and stay.”

Sam swallowed thickly and he stared at the back of Dean’s head before looking to Cas, who looked like a pained puppy. 

“Dean,” Cas said just above a whisper- his tone remorseful.

With such a simple utterance so much more was said and Dean closed the space between himself and the angel. He enveloped Cas in his arms, one hand holding the back of Cas’ head while the other wrapped around his back. Cas returned the embrace by slipping his arms under Dean’s in order to grip his shoulders from behind. The hug was tight and close, their faces pressed up against one another while they silently apologized to one another in unison and together were absolved.

The sound of Sam crying out in surprise followed by a loud bang interrupted the moment. Dean barely had time to pull away from Cas before he was ripped from the other’s arms and forced to join Sam against the wall- both held there by an invisible force. 

All three of them turned to see Jack standing in the center of the suite, a dispassionate expression on his face, his hands relaxed at his sides. 

“Jack?” Sam grunted.

Dean struggled against the hold as he glared at Jack. A moment later he looked to Cas, afraid of Jack’s influence on him.

“What are they doing here?” Jack asked Cas.

Cas stepped up, his hands slightly outstretched in front of him in a placating gesture; as one would do a frightened animal. “Jack, let them go.”

“Why are they here? I thought you said they wouldn’t find us here!” Both Dean and Sam turned their heads to look at Cas in surprise.

“They’re here for us-”

Jack closed his hand into a tight fist and both brothers grunted in pain.

“No, Jack, stop! They aren’t here to hurt us. They are here to _help_!” Cas clarified quickly, his voice uncharacteristically panicked.

“They don’t help anyone but themselves!” Jack shouted and again, tightened his fist.

“That’s not true, they are good men. They save people- hunt things, it’s what they do. Just like you.” 

“My mother was afraid of them…”

Cas hesitated and glanced at Dean momentarily. “She was more afraid of me… Dean and Sam wanted to save her and you- I was the one prepared to sacrifice you both. You still saw through that fear, you showed me a better future. You chose me even though I was prepared to hurt you. See through that fear now, see Dean and Sam for who they really are.” 

There was a long moment while Jack stared into their souls both figuratively and literally. The shuddered gasps of pain from the brothers filled the silence as the three of them waited for Jack’s resolution.

They were dropped from the wall but Jack’s narrowed eyes never strayed from Dean. 

“Okay, so, Jack…” Sam started and cleared his throat gently, “what you’re doing is amazing and we are trying to do something similar back in America.”

Jack’s eyes glanced over to meet Sam’s, his face expressionless. 

“Uh, and I think you could be a really great help if you wanted to come back with us.” Sam finished, glancing at Dean and Cas for support.

“Yes,” Cas joined, nodding in understanding at Sam’s desperate look, “we can do a lot more good in America than in Rome right now. It’s complete chaos over.”

Dean took the figurative baton from Cas when blue eyes implored for his participation and shrugged his shoulders, “yeah, just look at our president.”

Sam and Cas both snapped their heads to look at Dean incredulously who then seemed to shrink when he realized that he’d essentially insulted the vessel that helped to father Jack.

However, despite the faux pas, Jack nodded. “Very well.” 

“Really?” Dean and Sam ask in unison and Cas looked to Jack with just as much surprise as the boys. 

“I cannot bring paradise working in Rome alone, we will go to America until it is stable and then we will move again.”

Dean raised a pointed forefinger in the air, “Uh, can we maybe talk about that-”

The suite disappeared and suddenly they all appeared in the bunker’s kitchen.

“-last part?” Dean finished before realizing they were no longer in Rome. He looked around with his hands out at his sides while Sam did the same with an incredulous expression. 

Cas sighed and arched an eyebrow. “I left my book on the bed, I’ll be right back.” 

Dean barely was able to look back over to Cas before, with a flap of his wings, the angel was gone again. He appeared a second later, holding the book in his hands. The eldest Winchester gawked and stared at his best friend with wide eyes.

“Cas? You’re fully restored?” Sam managed, turning to look at Cas fully.

“Yes,” Cas nodded as he flipped through the book, looking for the page he had left off on.

The sound of dishes clattering caught all three’s attention before they could discuss further Cas’ angel status. They turned to see Jack pulling out a bowl and pouring half a box of cereal into it. He was in the process of shoveling in a spoonful of the sweetened corn flakes when he stopped to address them, “What? Flying makes me hungry…”

Team Free Will stood outside the bedroom door where Jack lay sleeping on the bed, snoring softly.

“So, he eats and sleeps?” Sam whispered as he closed the door gently, holding the doorknob so that the latch to catch until it was fully closed. 

“Yes,” Cas replied and looked between the brothers, “more than the both of you combined. He is part human.”

Dean looked back at the door as if he could see through it to look at the sleeping nephilim. “Do you think he’ll stay?”

“He wants to help, you promised a way. He will follow through on that until he sees another means to.”

“So he’s using us?” Sam asked, slightly offended.

“In a manner of speaking, yes.” Cas replied, his chin slightly raised to look Sam in the eye.

“Awesome,” Dean muttered. He rubbed the back of his neck before wiping at his mouth, “I’m going to bed.” he said and squeezed Cas’ shoulder as he passed by.

Sam waited until Dean was out of earshot, on his way to his own bedroom. “Dean kept your room up for you, Cas. You’re welcome to stay in…”

Cas smiled, one that barely pulled at the corner of his lips. “Thank you, Sam, goodnight.”

The taller man smirked and clapped Cas on the back as he walked to his own room.

Cas waited a moment longer outside of Jack’s room before looking away somberly and walked back to his room, halfway between Dean and Sam’s rooms.

**O.o.O.o**

Dean laid on the bed, staring straight up at the ceiling, his eyes wide open. One arm was draped over his head while the other laid out at his side as though feeling the empty space of the full sized bed.

He couldn’t stop thinking about the idea of waking up the next morning to find Cas and Jack gone. Clearly they had a connection, the angel and the half breed. His eye twitched just thinking about the kind of influence Jack had had on Cas while he was still growing inside Kelly. The idea that that control was stronger now, just as Jack was, concerned Dean. He felt hot and cold simultaneously as he thought about what Jack had said, _once he’s done in America he’s leaving again_. 

In that moment all he wanted to do was get up and check on Cas, make sure he was still there. 

Swallowing thickly, Dean started to sit up- prepared to peek in Cas’ room to see if he was in there. As he lifted from the pillows there was a light knock at his door.

His eyes went wide as he stared at his closed door and he smacked his lips before replying to the gentle sound. “Yeah?”

“It’s… it’s me.” Cas’ voice came through the door, deep and soft. If Dean didn’t know any better it would sound like Cas had morning voice, like he’d just woke up.

Dean sat up straighter and threw his legs over the edge of the bed. “Wanna come in, Cas?”

“Yes.” he said simply, still not opening the door.

If it wasn’t so amusing, if it was anyone else, Dean would have rolled his eyes. Instead he smirked and half laughed. “Cas, come in.” 

The door opened and Cas stepped inside, his head slightly dipped forward and eyes downcast to the floor. 

“You okay, man?” Dean asked, starting to stand when he saw Cas’ appearance. 

Cas nodded and met Dean’s worried gaze. “I’m here to ask you the same question.”

Dean shifted awkwardly, rolling his shoulders slightly and his eyes shuttering. “Yeah,” he cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck, “just getting ready for bed.” 

“I sensed your restlessness.”

He huffed a little and nodded. “Yeah, I’m thinking about what’s going to happen next.”

“We make the world a better place, just as you’ve always wanted.” Cas said almost incredulously, his head tilted to the side. “That is the plan, right?”

“Yeah, Cas, of course. I mean about our situation.” he indicated between them.

Cas squinted.

“You’re gonna stay, right? Even if Jack flies off to Timbuktu, you’ll stay here?” Dean asked, hearing the desperation in his own voice.

“Dean…” Cas started and broke their eye contact that had been maintained since they began talking.

Dean exhaled sharply through his nose as he turned away from Cas, “Jesus, Cas. Why? What did he show you that was such a big deal? Huh? Some perfect future where bees and humans live in harmony? Is he going to open heaven again? What? What has you so connected to this kid that… that you’d chose him?” on the final word, his voice broke and he turned his back fully to Cas. _Over me,_ he finished silently, to himself. Too ashamed to say it out loud. 

A hand rested on his left shoulder and Dean barely turned towards it though he wanted to. His heart was pounding heavily in his chest and he felt at any moment like he could snap like a rubberband. He could only take so much. 

“Dean, he showed me a world where…” Cas hesitated and that was enough to get Dean’s attention and they gazed at one another once again. 

“Where, what?” Dean needed to hear anything, any reason to explain why Cas couldn’t seem to stay with him.

Cas swallowed thickly and his eyes were wide, vulnerable. “You and Sam were happy. The heavens _will_ be restored but I’m doing this for you. I’ve been doing all of this for you… and Sam. As I always have. It started that I was keeping you from Dagon’s path… then from having to kill Kelly. I didn’t want you to bear that burden. Then, when Jack showed me a world where you smile easier and Sam has the life he’s always wanted, it became about making that happen- making it real.”

Dean had tears in his eyes and he couldn’t be bothered to care. 

“I just wanted to protect you.” Cas added, his voice thick with emotion. 

Dean shook his head but didn’t break their eye contact, “Cas, when will you learn that we’re better together? When you don’t keep things from one another. When you leave, all I can think about is if something happened to you. Leaving me doesn’t protect me, it worries me.”

Cas’ brow furrowed and he looked down at the floor, his hands closing into fists. 

With a sudden movement that startled even himself, Dean stepped closer to Cas and put a hand on his shoulder. “I’m really not trying to make you think I’m mad, I just need ya to understand. I appreciate what you do, what you’ve always done, but it’s more important to me that you’re okay- that you’re alive. You gotta stop throwing yourself to the wolves! Just tell me how I can help and we’ll work something out! We always find another way, don’t we?”

Cas looked back at Dean and nodded somberly, his eyes still wide as they stared into Dean’s soul. Dean passively wondered if the angel really could see into his soul- see how much it was bared to him at the time.

“Can we promise each other something?” Dean asked and when Cas nodded he continued, “I promise to support you- even if I disagree we will _talk it out_. But you gotta help me out, you gotta talk to me. No more of this running off business.”

“I promise,” he smiled. 

Dean sniffed and nodded firmly, blinking the tears away. “Good.” he said and patted Cas’ shoulder. 

After a few beats, Dean ran his hand down the front of his face and sighed. 

“Dean, you’re tired.”

“Yeah, I’ve been tired the last couple weeks- sleep hasn’t come easy.” Dean admitted, barely able to hold Cas’ gaze as his mind replayed his recurring nightmare in his head.

“I’ll watch over you, Dean.” Cas replied genuinely, a thoughtful expression on his face.

Dean smiled and sat down on the bed. “Thanks, Cas.” He smiled to himself as he realized the last time he had said that was after they’d returned from purgatory. Then he wasn’t comfortable with the idea; now he was more open to the idea.

Cas nodded and went to pull up a chair but Dean shook his head.

“Cas, you don’t have to-”

“I don’t mind.” Cas offered a small smile.

Dean laid back and closed his eyes. He barely could make it two seconds before he opened his eyes and frowned, “okay, sorry, it’s just a little weird, Cas.”

“What’s wrong?” Cas tilted his head.

Dean sighed and indicated to Cas lazily. “You’re just… sitting there, watching me sleep.” 

Cas’ mouth opened momentarily before he squinted and closed it again. 

Dean’s eyes slipped closed and he shook his head subtly. “You’ve done it before, haven’t you?”

“I could read a book?” Cas avoided the question.

Dean thought about it a moment and before he could respond Cas stood.

“Or, I could go? I can still sense your distress from my own room. If something happens, I don’t need to be-”

“No, stay.” Dean said quickly, sitting up. His reaction surprised even himself and he knew that Cas’ wide eyes and slightly parted lips likely mirrored his own expression. 

“Okay, Dean.” 

Dean’s eyes dropped to look at the blankets and he frowned, more at himself than anything. He knew that if Cas left the room he would only be where he started, worried and staring at the vaulted ceiling. “Sorry, I just…” Dean mumbled, “- just don’t leave.”

“I’m here, Dean. Let me go get my book, I’ll return.” 

“Okay.” 

Cas walked out the door quietly, leaving the door cracked. 

Dean sighed and flung himself back against the pillows, one hand covering his eyes in shame and confusion. What was wrong with him? Why all the knee jerk reactions whenever Cas was around? He kicked his boots off and pulled himself further up onto the mattress, lying on the left side of the bed, the right side left open as if someone was already sleeping there. He looked over to the desk, closest to the right side of the bed, and stared at the chair where Cas had been sitting.

When Cas returned, he closed the door, holding the knob until he could release it soundlessly into the latch. He brandished the book and sat back down when Dean smiled his approval. 

Dean turned off the bedside lamp with a click and settled into the bed, his arms crossed against his chest. “Good night, Cas.”

Cas opened his book, using the desk lamp to illuminate the pages. It was bright enough to read properly but not so much that it would keep Dean from falling asleep. “Good night, Dean.” he replied gently, his eyes regarding Dean fondly. 

The angel had gotten through several pages of his book before he was interrupted by small whimpers from Dean. He lowered the book from his face to look over at Dean as he shuddered, his arms jerking. Cas tilted his head and stared at Dean with consternation. When Dean yelped, Cas jumped slightly before getting to his feet to go to him. Before he could reach for the struggling man, he could hear his name being screamed and realized it was from Dean- his voice nearly unrecognizable; panic-stricken and devastated.

“Dean,” Cas called as he sat on the right side of the bed, his hand touching Dean’s exposed forearm, where the Mark of Cain once scarred his skin. 

“No, Cas! Come back! _Cas_!” 

Cas’ brow furrowed so deeply that it contorted the rest of his face, his nose scrunching and lips turned downward. “Dean, I’m here… be still.” 

“Cas, please…” his voice was softer though still as distressed.

He scooted closer and leaned forward in order to place a hand on Dean’s head, an intimate touch that imitated one checking for a fever, his fingers brushing slightly into Dean’s hair. “I’m here, Dean, to stay.” 

He considered entering Dean’s dream in order to reach him but the touch and the sound of his voice worked. Dean stilled and turned his head further into Cas’ touch. “Cas…” Dean muttered, his tone soft- barely over a whisper. 

Sam stood in the doorway, having been walking in to wake Dean as he did every night for the last few weeks, only to stop cold; hand still holding the doorknob. Watching his brother and the angel he considered his other brother have such a tender moment kept him glued to his spot. His brows raised and eyes brimmed with a mixture of rapture and compassion. 

“I’m not leaving you again.” 

Dean relaxed completely. Cas smiled at the small success and moved to stand but Dean’s hand shot out and wrapped around Cas’ wrist. “Stay,” the Winchester said simply, his eyes still closed.

When Sam heard Dean’s request, he started to back out, not wanting to risk being caught. He managed to keep the door from squeaking or making a sound as he released the handle. As he stood outside the door, he smiled to himself then looked up at the ceiling- picturing the cosmos and sent out a silent thank you to whomever was kind enough to finally grant Dean’s wish. 

Cas had a fleeting thought that Dean wasn’t fully aware of what he was asking but he couldn’t bring himself to reject him. He laid down beside Dean, taking up the right side.

**O.o.O.o**

Dean woke slowly, a smile tugging at his lips though he wasn’t sure why- he just felt good. He rubbed at his eyes and went to turn on his right side only to bump into something. Someone. Cas. His first reaction was to jump out of the bed but he didn’t. His smile faltered but when Cas spoke his smile returned, though more lopsided than before.

“Good morning, Dean.” 

Dean laughed through his nose. “Good morning, Cas.” 

“Did you sleep well?” he asked, his voice soft as he looked down at Dean, who was still lying down on his side. 

He cleared his throat and sat up a bit. “Yeah, best sleep I’ve had in…” he made a face; scrunching his nose and pushing his lower lip out, “- in months, actually.”

“That’s good?” 

Dean laughed. “Yeah, Cas, that’s good.” he said as he got out of bed and collected his boots.

They walked out of the bedroom together, side by side. When they entered the kitchen, they found Sam making breakfast for Jack, who was sitting at the table. As Dean walked by he could feel Jack’s intense glare and tried to shrug it off. 

“Morning you two.” Sam greeted and started to butter the toast. 

The eggs in the frying pan started to smoke and Dean ran over to save them, flipping them and turning them from fried eggs into scrambled. 

While Dean fixed the eggs, Sam stared at him. “What?” Dean asked, his voice gruff.

Sam smirked and shrugged flippantly. “How’d you sleep?” 

“Fine.”

Sam pushed out his chin and bobbed his head. “Good, good.” 

Dean looked up at Sam as he scraped the eggs onto a plate. “Shuddup.” he said and turned away from his brother to serve the food.

**O.o.O.o**

The boys sat around the library table and discussed the new hunter organization- Sam’s plans and how Jack could help.

“We have something else to consider,” Dean added when Sam finished his pitch.

The other three looked to him expectantly but he was staring at the corner of the table dejectedly. 

“We have to consider that Lucifer was able to find his way back.” he said and slowly brought his gaze up to look at them.

Jack narrowed his eyes at Dean before nodding solemnly. “You’re right, that is something to consider.” 

Cas prepared to speak up when the sound of burning plaster filled the bunker followed by the smell of fire and smoke. All four stood and walked over to where a message burned itself into the wall at the other end of the library.

_Hello, Boys._

_I’ve always hated your bloody dungeon._

Dean and Sam shared a look before they both ran to go to the dungeon, Cas close behind them. There, hanging in the middle of the devil’s trap, surrounded by holy fire, was an envelope attached to the manacles. They stared at it in shock and Dean jumped slightly when Jack suddenly appeared beside him. Rolling his eyes, he stepped away from Jack and started for the letter, stepping over the holy fire.

He opened it and started reading before he made it back to the others. What he read made his mouth drop open and a pang in his stomach. 

“What is it?” Sam asked. “What does it say?”

Dean swallowed and frowned. “Boys,” he started to read it out loud, “if you’re reading this- I’m dead. Such an ominous way to start a message, isn’t it? I’ve always wanted to say it though, so here it goes. ‘I’m dead’. Probably no thanks to you.” Dean released a heavy breath and shared a look with Sam before looking directly at Cas, a far away look in his eye. He continued reading, “I made a deal with you boys, I would close the gates of hell. I keep my deals- even though it seems you didn’t keep your end of the bargain. So, here’s where you’ll have to start. There’s a warehouse, here in Lebanon, the address is on the other side of the paper. Go there- you’ll figure it out.” He turned the paper over to look at the address then looked back at the six eyes staring at him. “That’s it.” he muttered.

Sam made a clicking sound and put his hands on his hips. “Wow, I didn’t see that coming.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Clearly, this is going longer than I thought. So, I've changed it from "five chapters" to "who the hell knows?"
> 
> Hope that's okay and I'm still holding your attention. Now that the boys are together and have a new plan to save the world, the Season can really get going. 
> 
> I'm actually really excited to write this next chapter- seriously.
> 
> Preview: Sam and Jack work out plans to expand the hunters influence and Jack reaches out to find see if Lucifer is in this realm. While Sam and Jack stay in the bunker, Destiel spread their new found wings together and follow Crowley' s message to hells gates.


	4. 13x05: PART ONE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam works with Jack while Cas and Dean follow Crowley's message to an abandoned warehouse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter ended up being much, much longer than I thought it would be. Therefore episode 5 is split into 2 or 3 parts. I'm not even FINISHED with the episode yet but I thought I'd give you **Part One** to start off with. 
> 
> Enjoy!

**13x05**

Dean’s own pained pants echoed in the empty, once exquisite, foyer. It was dark, barely lit up enough to see properly, he knew that on first hand experience. His reminder of what happened when in a poorly lit, abandoned mansion in the middle of nowhere grieved him and he was barely able to keep his trembling free hand pressed against his left side, his other hand still held the demon blade between lax fingers. It was becoming harder to breathe and he shuddered with the fear of taking his last breath.

 

The sounds of Cas’ footsteps seemed to drown out his own breathing, each footfall reverberating in his ears, harmonizing with the pounding of his heart. He knew Cas was coming to him but he couldn’t bring himself to look up at the angel- his eyes were too heavy.

 

Mangled corpses were all he could clearly make out and the smell of sulfur mixed with the smell of his own blood made him cringe. After trying to maintain a proper sitting position for a time, Dean finally succumbed and leaned back further against the wall. He slipped in the pool of his own blood and nearly fell all the way until the back of his head was resting just above the baseboard. The sudden repositioning and lack of support to his chest gave his body ample reason to protest and a flash of pain erupted through him as blood rushed into his nicked lung.

 

When the blood spilled between his lips, Dean pulled in a ragged gasp. He twisted his head to the side and spit a wad of spit and blood on the dusty, marble flooring.

 

With lazy eyes, Dean glanced back at the interior of the house, expecting a new wave of demons to pour back into the foyer. The first floor rooms - accessed by two walkways on either side of the magnificent, fanned stairs that led to the second story balcony that overlooked the foyer - appeared empty, and no one came from the stairs.

 

“Dean,” Cas called and Dean looked over to see his friend’s worried expression directly in front of him.

 

“No, Cas… you haf’ta keep... lookin’...” Dean managed between strangled gasps.

 

Cas shook his head. He was knelt in front of Dean, his hands resting limply between his thighs. “Dean, there’s nothing here. And you’re-”

 

“I’m fine, Cas. We’re not leaving--” Dean tried to sit up in an effort to show strength but instead his body was sent into an almost seizure like, coughing fit and blood spilled and warmed his otherwise cold lips.

 

Without further argument, after his body stopped wracking, Dean lifted his right arm to Cas who took it and wrapped it around his shoulders, his left arm wrapped around Dean’s waist and placed a firm hand over Dean’s to keep it in place over the still gushing wound in his side. They limped across the foyer, Dean struggling to keep his feet under him and his head barely holding a steady gaze on the double doors they were set to leave through.

 

Only a few paces away from the door, Dean buckled but Cas held him upright. “No, wait stop…” Dean begged.

 

Cas shook his head. “I’ll carry you out if I have to.”

 

Dean lolled his head up to look at Cas’ face and smirked. “L-Like a... princess, Cas? Are you... my knight... in shining-” he coughed up more blood and his eyes rolled to the back of his head before he could finish his sarcastic joke of a refusal to Cas’ offer to carry him out. He went completely limp and Cas stopped and pivoted in order to support Dean and keep him from slumping to the ground.

 

“Dean? Dean!” Cas cried. He cradled Dean’s body in his arms; one hand holding the back of Dean’s head while the other wrapped around his back. Dean’s arm was still limply draped over his shoulders while the other hung flaccid at his side, exposing the deep wound that afflicted him.

 

The door was so close, only a step and a half away.

 

There was no reaction from Dean as Cas gently shook him in order to rouse the Winchester.

“Dean!?”

 

**O.o.O.o**   
_ Three Hours Earlier... _

 

Jack sat at the library table beside Sam as they stared at his laptop. “And this is how you plan to eradicate all of the creatures?” the young man asked.

 

“Yeah,” Sam cleared his throat and leaned back in his chair as he indicated to the bright screen. “What do you think?”

 

“I don’t understand something.” Jack admitted and either ignored or didn’t notice as Dean and Cas walked up behind them from the kitchen, having just finished the breakfast Sam had started and Dean saved. “Don’t these creatures also have a right to live? Just as other predators do? Lions are the natural predator to a gazelle and yet we do not kill the lion simply because they tear into their prey.” 

 

The three men paused and thought about the notion. 

 

“No. But,” Sam hesitated, “it’s different.”

 

“Why?” Jack tilted his head to the side, his blue eyes wide with curiousity. “Because these creatures attack humans? Perhaps it is time to consider than humans are not the top of the food chain as they so believe. These creatures that you hunt and you kill, they do what they do in order to survive just as you kill cows or the lion kills the gazelle. How is it any different? Why should we interfere?” 

 

“Because they’re evil.” Dean spoke up and Jack showed no surprise at his presence.

 

“They kill to survive.” Jack argued.

 

“They terrorize.” 

 

Jack narrowed his eyes. “Are the gazelle’s not afraid for their lives?”

 

Dean threw his head back and spread his arms out beside him. “Will you stop with the damn gazelle metaphor? These aren’t lions and gazelle’s, these are  _ people _ that we are saving. It’s different.”

 

“But why?”

 

“Because they are of Lucifer’s creation and if not him then of other gods who desire bloodshed. They are created of evil, not of the light that our Father- your Grandfather intended. It is different but not because it is humans versus animals but because it is good versus evil. It is not natural. It’s supernatural.” Cas interceded. 

 

Sam took a deep breath that raised his chest and he nodded while Dean frowned but in approval, one eyebrow arched on his brow. Jack stared at Cas for a time before accepting the explanation by continuing his conversation with Sam. “If this is your plan to help the world, then I will help.”

 

With a disgruntled sound from his nose, Dean rubbed at the back of his neck and cracked his back between his shoulders as he did by flexing his deltoids. “Great, you guys can work on that. Cas and I are headin’ out to follow Crowley’s scavenger hunt.”

 

Jack looked back at Dean and narrowed his eyes as his gaze shifted between Cas and Dean. Cas seemed unbothered by the look but Dean shifted uncomfortably. 

 

“I will do it.” Jack said and started to stand.

 

Dean held up his hand and shook his head. “No, we got this. Why don’t you take a break and watch some cartoons or something-” he snapped his fingers as a thought occurred to him, “you’d like Scooby Doo. It’s all about humans being the true monsters.” 

 

“Dean.” Sam said incredulously and shook his head so rapidly his hair came from behind his ears.

 

“What?” Dean shrugged then held his hands up in defeat. “Okay, okay. I’m sorry. Jack, in all honesty, we got this. If we’re going to save the world together you gotta let us work as a team. Let me and Cas do this and we’ll be back in a jiffy.”

 

“And when you fail?” Jack asked, his brow steady over his eyes and lips thin. 

 

Dean turned to Cas with a vexed expression. 

 

“As Dean said, we’re a ‘team’. You must have faith.” Cas replied in a serious tone but when he finished he peered back at Dean with a questioning look of, ‘ _ good enough? _ ’

 

Again, Jack glared at Dean but then nodded and turned back to Sam’s laptop. 

 

Dean rolled his eyes and shared an exasperated glance with Sam, who shrugged and grimaced.

 

While Sam explained further the inner workings of the Men of Letters, how Hunters operate, and how he intended to unite the two; Cas and Dean started for the garage. Halfway there, Cas stopped Dean with a hand on his left shoulder.

 

“What?” Dean asked and stopped to look at Cas as he shrugged his duffle-bag further up his shoulder, the contents of his weapons and supplies rattling loudly in the narrow hall.

 

Cas cocked his head slightly and offered a shy, timid smirk. “We don’t  _ really _ have to drive there…”

 

Dean narrowed his eyes and held Cas’ shining gaze- excitement twinkled in the deep blue pools of Cas’ eyes. “You want us to-” he finished his sentence with a whistling sound and spinning a pointed finger in the air.

 

Cas nodded his head back and forth like he was playing ping pong with his head and shoulders and screwed his lips to the side. “I know how you said it affects your… bathroom needs. But-”

 

How could he say no? Cas had been without his wings for years, four to be exact. Flying again was still euphoric to the angel, Dean knew it had to be. Dean was just glad that Cas was alive, that’s all he needed, but being restored was a much bigger deal- especially to Cas. He couldn’t say no if he wanted to; “Yeah, alright, Cas. Let’s fly.” 

 

Cas grinned so wide that it met his eyes, which was rare for Dean to see and it nearly made his breath hitch. However, before he could say anything further, they were transported. 

 

When Dean opened his eyes they were standing directly in front of an abandoned warehouse, Cas’ hand still on his shoulder, lingering a moment longer than necessary before dropping it. 

 

“This is it?” Dean asked.

 

The ramshackle building was surrounded by crumbling cement with stronger-than-they-look-weeds pushing through the cracks. A few forsaken cars littered the parking lot; their windows busted and sides tagged with graffiti, one had all four tires removed.

 

Cas nodded. “This is the warehouse that Crowley specified in his letter.” 

 

“Any demons or warding?” 

 

Cas squinted and frowned. “No.” 

 

Dean puffed out his cheeks and shrugged. “Okay, let’s go.”

 

They started to walk towards the side door in unison, step for step. Both brandished their weapons, Cas his angel blade and Dean his demon blade. 

 

**O.o.O.o**

 

Sam pushed his hand through his hair and looked up from the book his was reading on alternate dimensions. He’d mentioned it to Jack, finding a way to open the tear he’d opened before but Jack didn’t acknowledge it, being too busy with his own research to be bothered saving Mary.

 

“Jack, uh, I wanted to thank you.” Sam said and leaned back in his chair to look across to the other table where Jack had settled, the one closest to the war room. 

 

The nephilim didn’t respond and turned the page of his book.

 

“You brought Cas back. Dean and I, well, that meant a lot to us and-”

 

“I didn’t do it for you.”

 

Sam’s eyebrows shot straight up on his forward and he pursed his lips. “Yeah, I know. So, why then? Why take his body when you left and then bring him back- restore him?” He didn’t need to go into the fact that living without Cas the last two weeks had nearly killed his brother. Nor, that living with his brother during that time was the loneliest he’d felt in a long time. It was like living with a ghost. Having Cas back was not only one of the best things that had happened to the Winchesters in a long time but it was also what brought Dean back. 

 

Dean was back but better. He was annoying but he was also happier. The way he looked when Cas was in the same room was so much more relaxed- his shoulders were released of tension but not sagging and his eyes were brighter. He gave reason to argue still, as always, but the gruffness was lessened. 

 

It was all because of Cas. It was all because Jack brought him back. He’d like to take it at face value, enjoy the return of his brothers for what it was, but there was something more. He knew it. Something that Jack wasn’t saying.

 

“He has a purpose to fulfill.” Jack said, still not looking up from his book.

 

There was something in the way that Jack replied that made Sam pause. He appeared dispassionate but to Sam it wasn’t a calm but rather a longing that Jack’s voice held. It was in the way he glared at Dean and stared at Cas. Sam took a deep breath and then released it slowly through his nose.

 

“Like your mother? How she had a ‘purpose’?”

 

Jack looked up and stared at Sam with a hurt look in his eyes on his otherwise stone-cold face. “Yes.”

 

“Would you bring her back?”

 

“No.”

 

“Why?”

 

“There’s no need. She’s moved on.”

 

“No need?” Sam leaned forward in his chair, his hands folded and hanging between his spread knees. “She’s your mother, she loved you. All she wanted was to raise you, teach you right from wrong, and give you  _ love _ .”

 

Jack squinted. His mannerisms were so similar to Cas; the head tilts, squinty eyes, stoic demeanor, it was like meeting a young version of Cas. 

 

“And, so you know, she hasn’t moved on. Without a heaven, she’s stuck in the veil with all the other souls.” Sam swallowed before continuing, “maybe that should be our focus right now. Would you open the gates to Heaven?”

 

“Castiel often requests the same.”

 

Sam frowned but before he could ask, ‘why don’t you?’ Jack continued.

 

“I thought you wanted to kill all the creatures.” Jack stated and looked back down at his book.

 

“That’s still important, but priorities change.” he sighed. “If you won’t bring her back, at least bring her peace.  _ Can _ you open Heaven?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Will you?”

 

Jack turned the page of his book but didn’t respond.

 

**O.o.O.o**

 

The warehouse was void of anything supernatural. Dust, leaves, and animal feces littered the floor. Graffiti covered the walls but nothing unusual about it other than the weirdly shaped penis’ that marked the cement barriers, otherwise it was tagged in usual bubble letters and propaganda speaking out against societal norms. In one of the old offices it appeared that a squatter resided there but hadn’t come back in some time. The sunlight barely made it through what windows remained- fighting to make itself known through black painted glass and thick layers of dust. 

 

Dean turned on a flashlight as they started for the inner parts of the warehouse, leaving what light they had from the windows behind. He looked back at Cas who was gazing around the large room with narrowed eyes and a firm upper lip. When Cas sensed Dean’s eyes on him he turned his head to meet his gaze. 

 

Before Cas could say anything, Dean asked: “Why’d you ditch the coat?”

 

Cas looked down at himself as though he was surprised by the observation. He had been lacking his trench coat, suit jacket, and tie since he’d been resurrected and it was intentional but he wasn’t sure how to put it into words. They kept walking but Cas looked directly at Dean and vice versa.

 

“It’s… complicated.” Cas finally replied.

 

Dean smiled though it hardly met his eyes, it was a sad expression that was masked to appear supportive. “C’mon, man, talk to me.”

 

“I-” a rat scurried under their feet and they both jumped slightly. “I realized that the- that I…” he furrowed his brow and looked at the ground, watching their feet as they walked.

 

A hand at his shoulder stopped Cas and he turned to face Dean, who held the flashlight down at his side and his other hand held Cas in place at his shoulder. “Cas, what’s wrong?”

 

“It didn’t…  _ fit me _ anymore.”

 

Dean arched an eyebrow and frowned. “We can get you a new one?”

 

“No,” Cas smirked, “I mean it didn’t fit who I was anymore. It reminded me of a version of me that I wasn’t- that I’m  _ not _ proud of. I saw that trenchcoat and instead of bringing me some semblance of who I should strive to be… it made me think of the mistakes I’ve made. The betrayals. The pain.”

 

Dean’s shoulders slumped but he didn’t remove his hand from Cas’ shoulder and instead squeezed his fingers to offer comfort. “I understand.” And he did. 

 

He was reminded of the amulet that he once wore everyday- the one that Sam had given him for protection when they were kids. Though it was eventually revealed that Sam had had it all along, holding onto it even after Dean had so blatantly thrown it away, it still was not around his neck. Instead it sat in a drawer in Dean’s room with all his other pictures and precious belongings. 

 

Still, just as Cas felt about his jacket, the amulet was now a reminder of darker, more difficult times shared with both Sam and Cas. Times of betrayal and hurtful words and actions. However, it was also a symbol of their ability to accept one another, to understand and forgive -- to love one another.

 

But he was happy for Cas, this could very well be the first step to Cas’ much needed self-worth. Taking off the coat was a testament to Cas discovering who he really is by being able to look back and accept who he was. It was about time that his angel felt as though he belonged. It was about time that Team Free Will forgave themselves instead of just each other.

 

After a moment more, Dean came out of his reverie and realized how long he and Cas had been gazing into one another’s eyes. He blinked and smirked as he turned his affectionate shoulder squeeze into a platonic clap on the shoulder. “Why ditch the tie and suit jacket?”

 

Cas smiled and turned to walk with Dean through the warehouse. “It was more comfortable without them.”

 

Dean laughed and shined the light around the warehouse, looking for signs of recent disturbance. “Well, if you’re done being the formal guy in our group, I’ll take you shoppin’ and we can pick you out some new outfits. That is, if you don’t wanna get in on our flannel.” he winked and tugged on his own, checkered, flannel. 

 

“I’d like that.” Cas replied, his lips turning into a lopsided smirk; one corner lifted up while the other turned downwards.

 

The Winchester pushed out his lower lip and nodded. 

 

They moved from the main operating room of what looked like an old meat processing warehouse and moved down another corridor. Halfway down the hall, Dean stopped mid-stride and turned both his light and attention to a sigil painted amongst the rest of the graffiti.  

 

“Aye, Cas, you recognize this symbol?” he asked and looked at it sideways.

 

Cas came up beside him and narrowed his eyes as he racked his brain for what it could be. “No.”

 

“Ya think this is what Crowley wanted us to find?”

 

“Perhaps.”

 

Dean swallowed and furrowed his brow as he reached with his free hand to touch the red markings. He couldn’t tell if it was paint or blood and he intended to find out. 

 

Cas looked at it with narrowed eyes, his head tilted to the side. As Dean started to reach for it, something occurred to him. “I believe-” 

 

Dean’s fingers brushed against the sigil and in a moment he vanished.

 

“Dean!!” Cas shouted and rushed to press his own hand against the sigil but nothing happened. He was unable to follow Dean to wherever the mark transported him. “Dean!” he shouted again, pounding a fist on the wall. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shameless angst is ahead (whether or not it's written well is yet to be seen). 
> 
> Thank you so much for your support! Don't forget to comment, it makes me happier than Cas was with a cheeseburger in S5. Seriously! 
> 
> Xoxo


	5. 13x05 PART TWO

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean continues his search for Crowley's message but runs into complications.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Action scenes are hard to write. That is all.
> 
> **Bold scenes are a shortened recap of events from **PART ONE** **

** 13x05 **

Dean dropped the flashlight and pulled the knife out again in an immediate response to being teleported. He looked around frantically and found he was in a large, dingy, foyer. Three figures turned on their heels in reaction to the flashlight hitting the marble flooring, and their eyes flicked black. 

“Shit.” Dean muttered and took two cautious steps backwards. 

They advanced on him and he watched them carefully, his body swaying with anticipation. The demons, two males and a woman, tried to flank him, the female coming directly towards him while the other two came at him at his sides. He dodged backwards as the one on his left lunged forward- while the left lost his balance during the lunge, Dean maneuvered around him and threw him in the direction of the right one while plunging the knife into the demon’s back. The left demon howled in pain, his demented soul flickering and dying within his meat suit before the body hit the floor. 

The woman screamed a shrill battle cry and came after Dean with a raised knife. He side stepped her but her knife grazed the top of his hand and he dropped the knife. Dean recovered and grabbed her ponytail from behind and whipped her around, punching down on her neck. She gasped but lunged again, jabbing the knife at his chest but he dodged it by shifting to the side and shoving her away from him. The other demon came up to his side in an attempt to capture Dean but the hunter raised an elbow and landed a blow to the demon’s nose. As the two demon’s stumbled and recovered, Dean dropped to the ground, reclaimed the demon knife, and shoved back up to his feet. In one swift transition from floor to walking on his feet, he took two steps towards the woman and stabbed her in the stomach; she extinguished the same as the last demon. 

As he turned to face the last of the three demon’s he became discouraged- four more demon’s came out from the doors on either side of the staircase on the first floor. One of the leading demon’s to join the fight held a gun and aimed it at Dean. He dived in the direction of the demon standing beside him, held the knife to his throat as he stood behind him. The demon, knowing it wouldn’t kill his comrade, fired three shots into the hostage Dean held and used as a shield. 

Dean finished off his hostage by removing the knife from the demon’s neck and plunged it through the front of its chest from behind. As the demon’s body fell to the ground, Dean threw the knife in the direction of the gun toting demon and it landed directly center of the demon’s chest. He moved into a sprint before falling to his knees and sliding across the marble to reach the gun that now lay between the limp hand and flooring. Once he had it, he fired two shots into the demon nearest him before pulling the knife out of the chest of his last kill. He stood, grabbed the front of the demon’s shirt with one hand while the other used the knife on the bleeding meat suit in front of him. 

The sound of the last two demon’s coming up behind him had him releasing the dead demon quickly but as he turned around a hot, white pain shot through him. He gasped and put one hand on the shoulder of his attacker while the other reached up and stuck the knife through the bottom of the demon’s skull. The demon looked at him in shock before its light flickered out. 

When the last of the demon’s came to attack, Dean stepped further away, taking some time to collect himself. One hand was holding his side as if trying to keep his lifeforce from escaping, while the other held the demon knife out in front of him. 

“We knew Crowley would try to help you assholes.” The demon woman spat, her blond bangs falling in her eyes as she stalked Dean, who was still backing away in the direction of one of the far walls- closer to the double doors that appeared to lead outside.

“About what?” Dean tried to sound snarky but pain laced his voice.

“The gates of hell, how to close them.”

“Obviously. How did you know? How did you find this place?”

“Crowley was sly but he was always predictable- especially when it came to his Squirrel and Moose.” she mocked Crowley even in death. Dean passively wondered if hell was even aware that both Lucifer and Crowley were gone- the latter dead. She used past terms but what did she really know?

The demon stepped closer until Dean had his back pressed against the wall. Blood seeped through his fingers and he blinked rapidly as black started to invade his vision from the sides. The searing pain was almost too much and he knew that there was more damage than just the gaping wound that afflicted him- something internal was damaged. 

“Did you find…” he gasped, a wince passing over his features, “did you find what you were looking for?”

She rolled her eyes and smiled, her bright red lips accentuating her pearly white teeth. “Like I said, he was sly. It’s probably only something you’d notice. Or that would react to you. Like the sigil back at the warehouse.”

Dean narrowed his eyes, his upper lip twitching. “If it only reacts to me, then how come you guys got here?” he asked. Looking around the room at all the dead demons, Dean smirked and arched a brow. “Not that you got too far anyway.”

Her eye twitched and she snarled. “It’s old magic, his mother’s magic. It’s not difficult to track it with dark magic. We’re demons, not idiots.”

His strength was failing, his hand shaking to keep in place at his side and his fingers grew numb trying to hold the knife steady. He needed more information, wanted to know what they were looking for but if he didn’t kill her soon he would pass out and she would kill him instead. “Well, don’t wear yourself out… I’ll take it from here.” 

“Like hell you will, I kill you and this business is laid to rest- I won’t _have_ to find the damn book.” she said and took two menacing steps forward.

Dean raised his knife but before they could cross blades, Cas manifested behind her- his eyes feral but his brow was set in determination and lips formed a tight line.

The angel spun the demon around and placed a hand on her head, prepared to smite her but nothing happened. When she realized this, she pulled her arm back to stab Cas but he grabbed her wrist and twisted it backwards, the knife falling from her hand and clattering on the ground. She screamed and fell to her knees, raising her free hand in surrender but Cas shook his right arm to reveal the angel blade. He held it firmly in his hand before using it to execute her, the blade entering through the top of her chest. 

“Cas…” Dean managed and Cas walked up to him, sheathing the angel blade in order to use both hands to support Dean against the wall. Despite the pain and need for assistance, Dean held the knife back as he put his hand on one of Cas’ arms and pushed back. “Look, you gotta find it. It’s here, the way to close the gates. That’s why they’re all here.” 

“Dean, you’re wounded.” Cas gently pulled Dean’s bloody hand away from the lesion so he could place his own hand there. 

He tried to heal him but it didn’t work just as the smiting hadn’t.

“Cas…?” Dean swallowed thickly as his legs buckled slightly but he managed to correct himself before he completely collapsed and pressed more firmly against the wall.

“My grace- this place- --” Cas looked up and around the mansion and shook his head. “It’s warded. I can’t heal you in here.” he said as he met Dean’s pained gaze. He looked around again and saw the door. “We need to get outside.”

“No, not yet. You have to find it first, before more come back.”

“We can come back after I-”

“You’re wasting time, Cas. I’m fine.”

“No, you're not-”

“Cas!” Dean pointed behind the angel as more demon’s came pouring out of every door in the house. 

Castiel turned his back to Dean, blocking him from view from the oncoming demon’s- their eyes all turned black. He spread one arm to his side as to further keep Dean from sight, his head bowed forward as he glared at the demons under a heavy brow. 

“You have no power here, angel!” one of the demon’s laughed as they started to form a wall around Dean and Cas as they advanced.

With a twitch of his eye, Cas revealed his angel blade from the sleeve of his jacket as Dean looked for his satchel- only to find that it was already behind the wall of demons. He had nothing but his demon blade and he felt useless. Pain racked his body but he forced himself away from the wall, one hand holding in his guts from falling out. 

Most of the demons surrounded Cas first as he spun to take stock of how many foes he had but also determined how he would execute each one of them. Three of the new group of ten left the circle to attack Dean. He lashed out, swiping his blade at the first demon to try and kill him but he dodged back and smiled wickedly. Dean backed up further and baited them to come closer to him- the less he had to do the better. Turning the knife in his hand so the butt of the hilt was closest his thumb and the blade was closest his pinkie, Dean surged to the right, swiped the edge of the blade across the demon’s throat then, after the blade had fully cut across, he brought it back the way he’d come and jabbed the knife into the side of the neck. 

Another demon came up to his left and landed a solid blow to Dean’s eye and then a sucker punch to the gut. Dean brought his knife-wielding hand up to strike but it was knocked out by a deflection move to his forearm. He cried out as hands held the sides of his head and brought him down upon a waiting knee. The demon threw him to the ground and Dean was forced to throw out both his hands to keep from face-planting on the floor. He spat out more blood and turned his head to look to Cas who only had two more demons to face. 

Cas spun, almost dancing, around the remaining demons. If Dean was honest with himself he hadn’t seen Cas move similarly in years, since purgatory. He used all of his limbs to make devastating blows to the sensitive areas of the face, chest and joints of the demons before he used his blade to end their lives. The demons didn’t stand a chance and could barely get a hit on Cas. 

Dean was flipped onto his back and forced to stare into the black pools of the demon that now straddled him, the demon’s male meat suit heavier than Dean could buck off. 

“To think,” the demon sneered and raised a long bowie knife over Dean’s face. “That after all this time, of all the demon princes and knights, the fallen angels, Lucifer himself! --” the demon laughed manically, “I would have the pleasure of killing a Winchester.”

Dean reached with his right hand for the demon knife, his fingers wiggling on his trembling hand as he tried to shift closer under the weight of the demon. Unconsciousness lurked in the corners of his mind as his vision blurred.

The sound of a flickering soul in a body sounded behind him and both Dean and the demon looked up to see Cas removing his angel blade from the back of the last standing demon. Castiel stood above them, his chest puffed out and eyes dark and squinted, he twirled the blade between his fingers a single time before he plunged it deep and forceful into the demon’s chest. There was so much strength behind the final kill that Cas was able to lift the demon to his feet, off of Dean, and back a few steps before he shoved the body onto the floor with disgust.

While Cas finished with the last of the demons, Dean dragged himself over to the wall and leaned against it, his legs outstretched in front of him. He held his already sticky hand against his side while the other held the demon knife in his lap- just in case more came.

**“Dean,” Cas said from beside him and Dean opened his eyes, not realizing he’d pinched them closed.**

**When Cas came close, his hands moved to help Dean, but Dean shifted away slightly and held up his hand.**

**“No, Cas… you haf’ta keep... lookin’...” Dean managed between strangled gasps. He knew that his body was supporting Cas’ argument rather than his own, betraying his words in his attempt to convince them otherwise.**

**Cas shook his head and unconsciously stroked Dean's cheekbone gently as he spoke. “Dean, there’s nothing here. And you’re-”**

**"I'm fine"...**

****

*******

**Dean eventually relented to Castiel’s demands and they both walked towards the door, Cas half dragging Dean as his strength failed him.**

****

Cas shook his head when Dean begged to stop, to take a break in order to fight the pain. “I’ll carry you out if I have to.” Cas said gruffly.

Dean lolled his head up to look at Cas’ face and smirked. “L-Like a... princess, Cas? Are you... my knight... in shining-” he coughed up more blood and his eyes rolled to the back of his head. He went completely limp and Cas stopped and pivoted in order to support Dean and keep him from slumping to the ground. 

Keeping them both on their feet, despite one being unconscious, Cas tried to get Dean to look back at him by holding his head up and shaking gently.

 **“Dean? Dean!” Cas cried as he cradled Dean’s lifeless body in his arms. His face contorted into true panic and fear as he shook Dean helplessly. “Dean!?”** x

**O.o.O.o**

Cas carried Dean out of the mansion effortlessly; Dean’s face buried in Cas’ neck with one arm hanging lamely over Cas’ shoulder while the other rested on his own stomach.

Outside the double doors was an old cobblestone, circle driveway with a garden in the center; weeds had overtaken it and choked out most of the flowers and spilled out over the curb. The driveway led into a long cement path into the surrounding woods. There were no other houses nearby and no cars sitting in the drive. They were in the middle of nowhere and Cas was powerless.

He walked past the turnabout and overgrown garden until they were at the edge of the woods, far out of the warding’s power. When he reached the line of trees and underbrush, he knelt to the ground, holding Dean close to his chest as he did until he could rest him gently in the grass, keeping Dean’s upper body in his lap so that Dean’s head rested on Cas’ chest.

As he held Dean in his arms, he laid a hand over the still gushing wound and looked at Dean’s ashen face, his lips paled against the bright red of his own blood. Then he took in the swollen left eye that had closed shut on it’s own accord far before Dean had lost consciousness. Dean’s head lolled further down Cas’ chest and the angel could feel the painful pang of dread in the pit of his stomach, his heart beating rapidly. He had never felt more scared, more helpless. He was finally restored and still he was useless- a burden… again. 

For the twentieth time since Dean had been wounded, Cas tried to heal him but his grace fizzled inside of him; it was like striking a match repeatedly but not being able to get it to light. 

Dean’s eyes fluttered open and he took in a ragged breath. “Cas…”

“I’m here.” Cas said quickly, his voice coming out in broken tones. 

His eyes looked up and around at the trees and the sky before coming back to hold Cas’ gaze. Their stare intense despite the fading light in Dean’s eyes. “Where…?” he panted.

“We’re outside, I had to get out of the warding in order to heal you.”

“The book?”

“We’ll find it, Dean, after you’re healed.”

“More... will come. We need... that --” coughs wracked his body and brought more blood into his mouth. “--book.” he finished and turned further into Cas’ chest. 

Dean’s skin was cold and clammy, sweat beaded on his forehead.

“Nothing is worth your _life_.” Cas argued, his deep voice breaking at the end.

“Closing... the gates... is.” he named one of several causes he believed he could die for.

“If bleeding to death doesn't kill you, Sam will for being such a hypocrite. And, if he doesn't, I will.” Cas warned, his eyes mere slits as he tried again to heal Dean. 

Dean huffed, both in frustration and pain. “Stop... arguing… and look...for it... will ya? We... can’t fail.” He thought of Jack and Cas together. Cas had chosen Jack over Dean before, even if it was to ‘protect him’ but he could only hope that it would be what pushed Cas to do as he said- even if it hurt to know that Jack would come first. “Jack would want... us to go forward- he’ll never... let us live... it down... if we... came back... without it.” blood came up in his throat and slipped between his lips before he licked it away and swallowed thickly. 

“No.” Cas kept his left hand against the bleeding wound, blood pulsing through his fingers despite his effort to keep it inside, while his right moved up further in order to cup the right side of Dean’s face since his arm still supported his neck. “I won’t do this without you, Dean. I… _need you_.” 

Dean’s breath hitched, his chest heaving with both effort and emotion. He closed his eyes as his right hand covered Cas’ left and gripped Cas’ stained-red shirt loosely in his other. Cas using his term for love- particularly between one another - nearly broke Dean. They held one another tighter as Dean struggled to breathe as blood filled his lung. 

“C-” he tried to speak but he felt like his lung was trying to come up through his throat, he choked on it.

“No.” Cas tried again in vain to heal Dean but the influence of the warding for such a prolonged time prevented his grace from recovering as quickly as he would have liked. It was only minutes but it was agonizing for the both of them. Every second was counted against Dean. “Please…”

Dean released Cas’ shirt and slowly reached up to touch the bottom of his jaw, inadvertently wiping bright red blood on his skin. Cas wanted to reach up and hold Dean’s hand there at the base of his jaw but he was afraid to pull his hand away from Dean's wound. He leaned into Dean's gentle touch with tears pricking in his eyes.

“It’s’okay…” Dean managed in a strangled voice. His body was already so still. All that showed signs of life were Dean’s shuddering chest and the hand he held to Cas’ face.

“ _Dean_ …” 

When Dean’s eyes started to flutter closed, his hand falling away from Cas’ face, Castiel shook his head and moved his hand from Dean’s chest to the side of his face, transferring the slick blood to Dean’s pallid skin. As he gripped Dean closer to his chest, his own chest heaving with panicked breaths, he tried once more for his grace to flow between them. Dean’s slowing heartbeat made his own heart break in the process, even as he gave one last attempt at keeping Dean’s soul from leaving. He felt the familiar tingle of grace intensify and he used it immediately to heal Dean’s most fatal wound; his damaged lung. 

Immediately, Dean’s breathing improved and he took a deep, clear breath. Cas’ powers came back in strong waves and he put all of his grace to work on healing Dean’s afflictions; deep laceration in the side, the cut on the back of his hand, the bruised face, and swollen eye. Castiel could feel Dean’s strengthened heartbeat and he waited anxiously for Dean to reopen his eyes, swallowing thickly.

After a few more anxious moments, Dean’s eyes shot open and he jerked slightly against Cas. His eyes were unfocused as he looked around until he found Cas’ tightened face. Cas was still breathing shallow and his face was so scrunched in utter fear and panic it looked painful. 

Dean swallowed thickly and held Cas' gaze. “Cas,” he rasped. 

The single utterance seemed to break Cas out of his frozen, frantic state and he pulled Dean up higher and wrapped both arms around his back. Dean smiled briefly before it turned into a deep frown and he moved his arms to embrace Cas; one hand holding the back of Cas’ head, his fingers pushed into the thick, dark hair while the other gripped the back of Cas’ shirt in a fist.

“It’s okay.” Dean repeated what he had thought to be his last words.

Cas held on tighter in response before managing to speak. “Don’t ever do that again.”

They both remembered that as one of the first things that Dean said to Cas moments after he returned from the dead and Dean couldn’t help the small smile that turned his lips as he nodded. Dean pulled away slightly as did Cas but neither moved much further and in unison they pressed their foreheads together and just breathed.

“I’m sorry.” Cas said gruffly, his voice just above a whisper.

“Cas, it’s not-”

“No, I couldn't help you- I was useless... again.”

Dean furrowed his brow but couldn’t bring himself to pull his head away from Cas’, enjoying the feeling of having him so close- a guarantee that Cas was there with him. Instead, he held the back and side of Cas' head tighter as he replied, "you are not useless, Cas. You can't keep believin' that you're some sort of burden to me -- and Sam." 

“I was watching you die and there was nothing I could do. I was helpless to save you and it hurt me in places I didn’t know could hurt so badly to see you like that."

"It wasn't your fault and you _saved me_. I'm okay because of you."

"What good is being an angel if I can't protect you?"

Dean leaned back and held the sides of Cas' face in his hand, forcing the angel to look at him. "You don't have to protect me, just like I don't have to protect you. We have each others back- as we always have. Don't put this on yourself, Cas, please. I don't _need_ you to be an angel. I just need _you_. Got it?"

Cas nodded before he bowed his head slightly in either relief or shame. Dean, in return, lowered his head to Cas' once again and sighed.

"I- you’ve been there when I’ve died before," Cas muttered, "I’ve seen your reaction firsthand but I never understood..."

Dean scrunched his face as flashes of losing Cas over the years flicked through his mind's eye.

"I understand now. I’m sorry. Just... please, don’t do that again.”

Dean leaned closer so that they were but a hairsbreadth away from one another. “Only if you promise the same, I don’t think I could bear losing you again. There’s so much I still have to say to you…”

At Dean’s words, Cas opened his eyes and looked at Dean although the Winchester still had his eyes closed. “And you still haven’t said it?”

A smile graced Dean’s lips as he pulled away, his hands still resting at the base of Cas’ jaw. “I-”

Dean’s phone rang.

They both closed their eyes and sighed. Dean reopened his eyes first to meet Cas’ gaze, letting the phone ring as he considered saying it anyway. However, Cas offered a patient smile, his eyes knowing and indicated to the phone. “You should get that.” he said.

With a grumble and roll of his eyes, Dean searched for his phone in his pocket and answered it without looking at the caller ID. He didn’t have to look to know who in the world had the worst timing, especially when it came to he and Cas. “What, Sam?”

_“Hey, just checking in. You guys okay?”_

Dean rolled his eyes to the back of his head as he pinched his eyes closed, wiping at the sweat and blood still on his face. “Yeah, Sam. We’re fine. We’ll call you when we have the book.”

_“Book? You found another message from Crowley?”_

“Sam!” Dean snapped, his eyes flying open. “We’ll call you when we’re done!”

 _“Okay, alright! Hey, are you sure-”_

Dean hung up the phone and slid it back into his pocket. “Jesus Christ.” he muttered exasperatedly. He bowed his head and shook it lazily before checking his emotions and looked back at Cas, his eyes dried. “We need to find that book.” 

“I’ll go in first.” Cas offered and started to stand, holding his hand out for Dean to take.

He took the help up and brushed himself off. “No, I’ll lead. We have to take the warding off.” 

“If I go in first and we go in and grab the book quickly, we won’t have to worry about the warding.” Cas argued, his eyes narrowed.

“What did I say, Cas? What did I say about throwing yourself to the wolves?” Dean asserted, dropping his hand from Cas but not stepping further back or breaking eye contact.

“And that doesn’t apply to you?!” 

Both men stopped and breathed heavily, their faces inches apart as they stared into one another’s eyes. (if any of their friends, past or present, were there they would have shoved them into one another) Dean’s eyes flicked down to look at Cas’ lips then back up to his eyes. 

“Not when it comes to the people I love, no.” Dean finally replied.

Cas frowned deeply and worried his brow. “That’s not fair, Dean.” 

He looked back at the house and sighed. “We go in together - no messing around - we find the book, and we zap out.”

The angel looked hesitant, not taking his gaze from Dean’s face. “Fine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _**SPECIAL SHOUTOUT:** To those of you who pioneer WIP, " thank you". You're the true MVP's._  
>   
> And also to Siael and (guest)Tony for supporting me from the very beginning- THANK YOU!!


	6. 13x05 PART THREE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TFW doesn't stop when the going gets tough... Cas and Dean barrel through to get the book that Crowely wanted them to find. 
> 
> Dean has some revelations about Jack.
> 
> Sam gets... a new look?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMChuck, I swear this is the only time an episode will be THREE parts. There was just so much to do and things to say!

They walked back into the house and Dean immediately went up to his bag and pulled out some guns while taking up his flashlight, turning it off and throwing it in the duffle. Feeling better armed and protected, Dean looked back at Cas and nodded. The two of them stayed together and checked for more demons as they searched for signs, sigils, or clues to what Crowley would have left behind. After they cleared the first floor, they walked back into the foyer to climb the stairs and ran into demons who were coming down from the second floor. 

Together, Dean and Cas dispatched all remaining demons. Dean fought them close up, and would turn them towards Cas to use his angel blade on. Shots rang through the air as Dean fired at some of the further ones while simultaneously helping Cas with the ones who came up too close. They fought together perfectly as though reading one anothers mind on where they should be and who to fight next. Warrior beside warrior, no words were needed to successfully hold off the demons. 

When the last of the demon’s fell, Dean stood beside Cas breathing heavily- slightly winded. 

“Dean, are you alright? Are you injured?” Cas asked and put a hand on Dean’s left shoulder.

“Nah,” Dean waved a dismissive hand through the air. “I think I’m just getting too old for this,” he puffed, “I gotta start working out.”

“Working out?”

Dean nodded and started the climb up the fanned stairs. “Yeah, you know… exercising and crap.”

Cas nodded once and peered up as though considering the significance.

Again, Dean waved his hand through the air when it seemed that Cas wasn’t understanding. “Don’t worry about it.” 

The second room they walked into, after finding nothing in the first bedroom, immediately felt different to Dean. The office didn’t appear any different and looked just as decrepit as the rest of the rooms- the appearance made worse by the ransacking it had been put through by the demons - but there was a charge in the air. 

“Whoa, di’ju feel that?” Dean asked and put an arm out to keep Cas from walking in any further.

“No, what?” 

Dean nodded in his own understanding. “It’s in here. The book, I can feel it.”

“Alright,” Cas set his face in determination and they spread out in the room. For Dean it became a game of ‘hot and cold’ the closer he got to the book the louder the white noise in his ears got. It was like there was electricity in the air- similar to when old tube tv’s were on- you could feel it. 

Dean followed the feeling blindly until he came up to the desk that had been pulled apart, the drawers in disarray or pulled out completely- papers and other office supplies littered the ground. If he was honest he was surprised the whole thing wasn’t flipped on it’s side. 

“Cas, here.” Dean announced that he believed he’d found the hiding place. 

“That’s a conspicuous place to hide it.” he said, looking at the oversized desk sitting in front of a large, arched window that took up most of the back wall. The front faced the door directly while the chair was closest to the paned glass. 

“Plain sight and all…” Dean mumbled and started to run his fingers over the surface of the desk. “Seriously, who needs a desk this big? I don’t think the oval office’s desk is this big.” 

When nothing on the surface stood out, opened, or transported him, Dean knelt down and put his hands under the surface of the table. Cas, suddenly anxious, reached out and put a hand on Dean’s shoulder- hoping that if something took Dean again that perhaps he could hitch a ride instead of arriving, almost, too late like last time. 

Dean’s fingers didn’t run over anything obvious by touch and so Dean began to lower himself to the ground in order to look under the desk but as he gripped the molded edge of the desk he pricked his finger and hissed. A small dot of blood beaded on the pad of his index finger and he frowned. The air seemed to buzz even louder at the presence of fresh blood. He looked to Cas but the angel was still oblivious to what Dean was feeling around him. 

Cas began to look around the desk, his brow furrowed and eyes narrowed as he paced around the edge, running his finger under the lip of the surface. He stopped in his tracks when his eye caught an unusual scratch on the left side of the desk. “Dean?”

“Yeah?”

“Is this a Celtic sigil?”

Dean went around the desk to look at the symbol with Cas and shrugged when he saw it. “It’s all we got, so let’s go with it.” he glanced over their shoulders before continuing, “and fast.”

“Well,” Cas indicated to it with an open palm, turned upwards. “What are we supposed to do with it?”

“Uh…”

“The sigil back at the warehouse reacted to you because of your blood.” Cas reminded.

Dean nodded. “Right…” he drawled and held up his bleeding finger and touched it to the side of the wood into the symbol; 

The blood seemed to get sucked out of his finger and pulled into the symbol etched into the side of the desk. Whirring and the sound of clicking cogs and switches sounded from within the antique desk. Dean winced and started to back away, anticipating an explosion of some sort but instead the front of the desk popped open like a microwave door- throwing itself out. 

Both men jumped slightly and walked around to find the Book of the Damned sitting inside. Dean’s eyebrows shot up high on his forehead while Cas squinted at it. 

“The Book of the Damned?” Dean questioned as he picked it up with deft fingers.

Cas arched a brow and shrugged a shoulder. “I thought Rowena had hidden it.”

“Yeah, me too.” 

“Is this what Crowley wanted us to find?” Cas asked and took it when Dean offered it to him.

Dean shrugged. “I guess. What else would be here reacting to my blood?”

Cas pushed out his lower lip and shook his head.

“Well, I’m getting a headache from being near this stupid desk, let’s get out of here.”

They began to walk out but checked each corner before walking forward. When the reached the bottom of the stairs, they all but ran for the door- Dean scooping up his bag as he went. 

Once outside, they turned around to face the mansion in expectation. When no demon’s followed them outside or seemed to swarm from the woods, Dean opened his dufflebag and Cas dropped the book inside. As Dean zipped it up, he looked at Cas, specifically to the large blood stain that took up most of the front of Cas’ shirt. He noticed, as though for the first time, the blood smudge that he’d left on Cas’ jaw and knew that he likely looked just as morbid. 

He swallowed before clearing his throat in order to talk to Cas. “Hey, uh, I’m not sure how much of that’s mine but I’m thinking we shouldn’t let on how dicey this case got.” he said and indicated to Cas’ chest.

The angel looked down on himself and frowned deeply. “You’re right.” 

“Can you mojo it clean?”

“Yes, once my grace is recovered.”

Dean nodded and looked back at the house. “So how come the warding didn’t keep you out of the house like it’s done in the past?”

The warding on this mansion is different- it’s not a banishing sigil. It’s more akin to,” he pondered for a moment before continuing, “a demon’s trap. The trap doesn’t prevent them from stepping in but it makes them powerless once they are.”

“Demon’s trap also keeps them inside…”

“That’s true.” Cas nodded and thought about the notion. “To be honest, I’m not sure what was changed in the sigils that allowed me to leave. It must have been something that Crowley did to it.”

“Well,” Dean scoffed, “I’m not going to complain.”

Cas turned his attention to Dean once again, regarding him affectionately, a small smile on his face. “Me neither.” 

Dean smirked and put a hand on the back of Cas’ shoulder. When Cas’ shirt was suddenly clean as was Dean’s and the blood was wiped away, Cas turned to Dean and asked if he was prepared to leave.

“Yeah, I never want to come back to this mansion again.”

Cas took a deep breath and nodded as he glanced down at Dean’s chest- where less than half an hour ago he was bleeding out from. Dean caught his gaze and put a hand on his shoulder.

“Let’s go home.” Dean said softly, his voice deep.

A smile graced Cas’ lips before he looked up to meet Dean’s eyes and put a hand on his shoulder. “Let’s go home.”

**O.o.O.o**

Sam sighed and lowered his forehead into his hand as he looked over another book from the Men of Letters library. He started to reach for his beer with his free hand when he heard the sound of flapping wings and a rush of wind came from behind him.

“Hey, it’s about time! I-” Sam started without turning to face Cas and Dean, he was interrupted by the slamming of The Book of the Damned on top of the opened book he had been reading.

Dean leaned back on his heels and looked at Sam down the bridge of his nose.

With wide eyes, Sam ran his fingers down the cover of the book then looked at Dean in shock. Confused and slightly speechless, he then diverted his gaze to Cas who appeared impassive.

“How?” Sam finally managed.

Dean shrugged and uncrossed his arms. “Dunno,” he huffed. 

He started to open the book and tilted his head to the side. “But… Rowena was the last one to have it?”

“That’s what we thought.” Dean indicated between himself and Cas who was now looking around the room.

“Where’s Jack?” Cas asked.

Sam took an extra second to respond as he looked at the first few pages. “Uh, I… I think he’s in the kitchen.”

Cas nodded and went to go to the kitchen. With his fingers brushing over the gibberish on the pages, Sam turned to talk to Dean but found that he was already following close on the angel’s heel- refusing to let the two celestial beings go unchaperoned. 

The youngest Winchester couldn’t help but smirk to himself before turning back to The Book of the Damned, his eyes wide and energy rejuvenated. The Book of the Damned could change everything.

Cas and Dean walked into the kitchen together and found Jack watching Scooby Doo on a small RCA, portable TV they kept on the kitchen counter. Dean laughed to himself while Cas walked up to the man-child watching cartoons. 

“You’re back.” Jack said without greeting or looking up from the tv screen.

“Yes. We came back with The Book of the Damned.” Cas confirmed, his face soft and thoughtful. It was an expression that Dean didn't recognize himself but one that Castiel had used few times in the past- reserved only when he spoke with children or the truly innocent. 

Dean tilted his head slightly as he watched the interaction between the two, his eyes narrowed.

"You're watching cartoons?" Cas continued, bringing a subtle nod from Jack.

"Yes, I find it... entertaining." Jack said as he squinted his eyes. The sounds of futile running came from the TV followed by the sound of fluttering papers and a laugh track. "I believe that the dog, Scooby Doo, is possessed by a demon but the others seem to find it friendly. I believe the possession is clear, he and the tall one seem to intentionally sabotage the others' efforts in stopping the 'monsters'." Jack used air quotations. "Yet, the always 'solve the mystery'."

Cas pursed his lips and looked closer at the screen while Scooby tried to communicate that there was a monster standing directly behind the rest of the gang. Soon after, the theme song came on as the 'chase' ensued. 

"I prefer Looney Toons." Cas said softly as he sat down beside Jack.

"What is the significance of the Book of the Damned?" Jack asked. They continued the serious conversation despite both he and Castiel were fully invested in watching the cartoon.

"It may help to close the gates of hell without Crowley or demon trials." Cas said. He then tilted his head in confusion when the chase entailed a hallway scene where each character, including the monster, would go in one door and come out the other across the way without running into one another.

"That will help to bring peace?"

Cas took a moment, until the scene was over, before replying; "yes."

It was bizarre, watching the two of them interact so casually while remaining so stoic- watching a cartoon together. It was like two dysfunctional family members trying to socialize and bond. That was when it dawned on Dean and he blinked rapidly as though coming out of a dream-state. That's what they were. Cas wasn't Jack's father but he was chosen to be. Cas was there for Kelly when Lucifer hadn't been- Cas was raising him and teaching him right from wrong and now sat watching cartoons with him. Castiel was Jack's father, surrogate or not. 

Dean swayed slightly as another thought occurred; that made Jack family. 

Sensing Dean's discomfort, Cas looked up at Dean with a concerned expression. Jack, however, looked up and glared. It was a fiery expression and reminded Dean of when Cas was angry but didn't want to say so. The disdain from Jack was palpable and Dean couldn't be sure of it's origin. He was reminded of 'that night' when he refused Dean's request for Cas' life and then Jack's hasty retreat. Still, Cas was back and himself. There was no evidence, like there had been with Naomi's influence, that Cas wasn't Cas. Jack was intimidating, no doubt, but he couldn't be sure of why or what angle the half-breed could be playing at. 

As Cas started to rise to go to Dean, Jack's glare increased. 

"I'm, uh, gonna see if Sam needs anything." Dean said quickly and backed out of the kitchen.

Cas frowned as his eyes darted around the spot where Dean had been standing, as though trying to figure out why Dean's aura had shifted so much. Jack had returned to his cartoon and seemed none too concerned.

**O.o.O.o**

Led Zeppelin played through the headphones over Dean's ears, his eyes closed as he tried to drown out his own thoughts. He couldn't calm his mind of everything that had happened in the last three weeks or what had to be done in order to fix it. Pulling Mary out of the alternate universe was now top priority now that they not only got Cas back but also had Jack on their side. Cas was still trying to convince Jack to open the gates of Heaven and Sam was busy with the 'Hunter Democracy' he was trying to organize. All of that and they still had to consider following the bread trail that Crowley left _and_ make sure Lucifer either stayed in Mad Max World or was sent back to the cage, for real this time.

His head hurt and he couldn't be certain why; the rush of near death, the buzzing from the blood magic, proximity to Jack, or the constant barrage of 'things to fix' churning in his brain. _All of it_ , Dean thought to himself and lowered himself further into the comfort of his bed. The memory foam surrounded him like a hug and Dean thought about Cas in that moment.

He turned on his side as he pictured Cas holding him as he drew what should have been his last breaths. Then he thought of Cas in his arms, his body already limp and growing cold in the dark night that Dean had thought he'd lost his angel for good.

Dean huffed and pinched his eyes closed tighter as his fingers turned up the music on his cassette player. Sleep came but only due to physical exhaustion, he passed out repeating a mantra in his head; _Sam's here, Cas's here, I'm here... Sam's here, Cas's here, I'm here..._

**O.o.O.o**

Cas walked into the library just as Sam was standing to head to bed.

"Night, Cas." Sam said as he passed by, patting Cas on the shoulder as he did.

"Good night, Sam." Cas smiled and looked over to where The Book lay open on the table. He started for his own room when his eye caught something in passing. On one of the tables, Sam and Dean had carved their initials into the wood. Cas stepped closer, his head tilted to the side as he reached for the etchings. He ran his fingers over the grooves of 'D.W.' first and then over 'S.W.'. He wondered what compelled the boys to do it and imagined the moment, sorry he wasn't there to witness it, then looked towards the hall leading to the barracks. 

The sounds of Scooby Doo echoed in the empty rooms and Cas looked back towards the kitchen briefly before heading towards the bedrooms. As he passed Room 11, Cas slowed down to listen through the door. Dean's breathing was slow and even, he was sleeping peacefully. A smile turned Cas' lips and he blinked slowly in relief. He continued to his room, took up his book that was sitting at the foot of the bed, and crawled onto the right side of the bed; laying over the covers as he opened to his bookmark. 

He started to read but not more than three pages in did his mind begin to torment him as it often did when he found himself to alone. Dean's bloodied face and panicked eyes flashed painfully through his mind. The night before, when he'd stayed with Dean, the torment was non-existent. And now, especially after having nearly lost Dean, the torture felt worse. 

Still, he didn't want to bother Dean, who was sleeping peacefully, so he turned the page and tried to read. 

_****“It’s’okay…” Dean managed in a strangled voice, barely holding his bloody hand up to Cas' face.**** _

The image seared through his brain and he dropped his book in his lap. Before he knew what he was doing, Cas was on his feet and walking back towards Dean's room. He stared at the metal '11' on the front of the door for a few seconds before opening the door and peeking his head in. Cas was hoping to see Dean lying peacefully in his bed, fast asleep. He feared opening it and finding Dean dying or dead- that saving him was only a projection of hope in some demented reality. What he saw was Dean tossing and turning, muttering pleas and sobbing 'no' in between gasps. 

Sleep was as much a torment for Dean as 'quiet' was for Cas.

Cas was in the room and sitting on the right side of the bed in a moment, his hand reaching out to Dean. "Dean, it's okay." he said gently. 

"Cas?"

"It's me..." he confirmed, and squeezed Dean's arm as a reassurance.

Dean's eyes opened slowly, blinking wearily. "Cas... what?"

"You were having a nightmare." 

The Winchester grumbled and shifted in the bed so that he was lying more comfortably on his side, his right hand pushed under the pillow while his left rested on his side, and faced Cas. "Thanks..." 

"Of course." Cas replied and began to stand. 

"Wait..."

**O.o.O.o**

Sam woke the next morning, surprised that he had slept through the whole night. He looked around confused at first then impressed and got out of bed, feeling better than he had in a some time. For so long, his nights had been short lived due to stress or the job. The last few weeks, not that he was complaining, had been interrupted by Dean's cries or constant shuffling through the corridors as sleep alluded him. When Dean had insomnia, Sam felt he had to be there with his brother. When a Winchester suffered, they suffered together, Chuck damn it all. Last night, nothing had woke him.

He shuffled out of bed and scratched at the back of his head, he could feel the knots and matted hair under his fingers. Stopping at the bathroom first, he relieved himself. As he washed his hands, he looked at himself in the mirror and noticed the thick beard he had grown the last couple of days. His unkept scruff paired with the bed head made him look homeless. He huffed, knowing that sooner or later Dean would mock him but also that he should do something about it, and opened the medicine cabinet behind the mirror. 

As he grabbed at the shaving supplies, a hair band fell out and into the sink. 

Sam stared at it a moment, razor and Barbasol in hand, and wondered briefly where it could have come from. Then he remembered that Mom had had long hair at one point before cutting it in this very bathroom. With his free hand, he picked it up and looked at it closely before staring at himself in the mirror again. He took a deep breath before dropping all three items into the sink then found a brush. Running the brush through his hair he brushed through the knots and then pulled it all back into a fist. Then, he dropped the brush into the sink, grabbed at the hair band, and used it to pull his hair into a bun at the back of his head. 

He regarded himself in the mirror and stuck out his lower lip and made an impressed sound in the back of his throat, _not bad_. 

Making a last minute decision, he decided not to shave the beard off and instead trimmed it, completing his new look with a satisfied grin.

After cleaning up the bathroom, Sam left and started for the kitchen. Cas' room was empty, the door wide open. A few more steps and he was passing Dean's room and he consciously walked lighter when he saw the door was cracked- unsure if his brother was still sleeping or not he didn't want to disturb him. He slowed his pace as he neared the door and peeked in, his eyebrows shooting up on his forehead when he saw that the two had resumed the position they had the night before. 

This time, however, Dean's arm was draped across Cas' stomach and Cas' eyes were closed. Both had small smiles playing at their lips - both completely at peace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Preview:** Sam stays home to catch up on work and tries to decipher The Book of the Damned while Dean and Castiel take on a Wraith Case.
> 
> _“Sorry to keep you waiting.” the doctor said as he came to a stop in front of Dean, extending a hand._
> 
> _Dean took it firmly and nodded. “Not a problem. I’m Agent Mar and this is my partner, Agent Twist.”_
> 
> ***
> 
> _“The- the monster…” she whimpered._
> 
> _Cas had been prepared to shank a wraith but caught with a letter opener by a quivering woman made him shrink in size and hide the silver behind his back. “You saw it?” he asked timidly, unsure if she really saw the wraith or if she had hallucinations of monsters._
> 
> _She nodded numbly, “i-it… it went up the vent when it heard you coming.”_
> 
> ***
> 
> _“I…” Jack away from Sam and frowned. “Humans take life for granted.”_
> 
> _Sam's mouth dropped open in surprise then clenched his jaw and nodded solemnly._
> 
> ***
> 
> _Dean kicked through a door, Cas' name on his lips, his tone frantic._


	7. 13x07 Part ONE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I know I implied a wraith case and a serious conversation between Sam and Jack but I felt the timing was off. So, I rewrote the chapter but then I kept struggling with Bro Moments and the flow of the chapter so this is the THIRD iteration. It's been a really, really long hiatus between chapters. Know that it wasn't intentional. 
> 
> I have officially re-worked my outline and worked out most of the kinks. So, I think it should be okay from now on. Anyway... here's the next chapter.
> 
> Sorry if it still feels choppy and weird. I can't express how difficult this chapter was to write. Sorry.

** 13x07 **

Sam walked into the library from the kitchen, a cup of coffee in one hand and a plate of scrambled egg whites with chopped veggies in his other. He was halfway through a yawn, preparing to sit at the library table with his laptop, when the bunker door opened and the room was filled with laughter. He looked up, the bun at the back of his head flicking slightly with the movement, and watched as Dean and Castiel walked down the stairs, barking with laughter- Dean more so than Cas but the angel was still smiling brightly. 

His surprise at seeing them come from outside was masked by his own amusement at their merriment. 

As they rounded the end of the stairs and came through the war room, Sam noted the several bags in both men’s hands and the change of outfit that Cas was wearing. 

It had been a week since Castiel had returned to them but he had not once donned the trenchcoat that Sam had come to associate with him. Instead, he’d been simply wearing a white button down, slacks, and dress shoes. Now, as he walked in with Dean, Cas was wearing; a V-neck tee, dark wash jeans, and brown loafers. 

Sam couldn’t help but blink at them rapidly, a small smile tugging at his lips, as he stood frozen with his breakfast in both hands. 

“Heya, Sammy!” Dean greeted, his smile reaching his eyes so that the laugh lines appeared on his face. 

“Morning,” Sam replied and glanced, again, at the shopping bags. “Did you guys go _shopping_?”

Cas came up beside Dean and continued to hold his bags even though Dean unloaded onto the table. “Yes. Dean thought it would be appropriate that I get new clothes for my-”

“Sixth.” Dean provided.

“-sixth ‘return’.” 

Dean smirked as he looked back at Cas, his eyes flicking up and down Cas’ body before he turned back to Sam. “Positive reinforcement and all.” he said and winked at Sam, his smile had yet to falter.

Sam smiled and nodded his approval and Cas’ new look. “Well, you look great, Cas.” 

“Thank you, Sam.” Cas smiled shyly, briefly looking back down at himself.

Dean peeked at Sam’s plate. “What are you _eating_?” he asked in disgust, his smile turning into a false frown. 

“Healthy, Dean. I’m eating, healthy.” Sam replied and set it on the table, away from Dean. 

He remembered the last time he’d had egg whites and Dean had stolen it. If he was honest, he had been annoyed but he hadn’t been surprised that Dean had lowered his standards to eating off of Sam’s plate that morning. At the time, Dean had been suffering- Cas had been MIA at the time. And when Castiel was missing Dean did three things harder than he ever did when the angel was around, and that was; drink, eat (anything), and fuck women. During the Black Bill case, Dean did all three. Currently, Cas was here with them which meant that Sam’s food was probably safe from the other Winchester but he wasn’t going to risk it. 

Dean hadn’t had so much as a beer since Cas’ return last week, he’d been eating - which normally wasn’t a problem but had been lately - but he hadn’t been out at the bars finding women either. When they went out to dinner or breakfast at a restaurant, Dean didn’t so much as look at anywhere but Sam, Cas, and the plate in front of him. Sam’s brothers were back and both of them had never looked happier. 

Granted, it helped that the world wasn’t about to die in one form or another. At present, the world got a break and so did they.

“Gross,” Dean muttered and stood back from the plate, huffing at the air like an animal offended by a smell. 

Sam smiled complacently. He looked between the two men in front of him and smiled at how closely they were standing beside one another- their shoulders brushing against the other’s anytime they shifted feet.

Dean then looked at Sam strangely, his brows furrowed so close together that they almost formed a single line across his forehead. “Did you just wake up?”

He hadn’t realized it but he’d been smiling like a fool at the thought of Dean and Cas standing so close and smiling more in the last few minutes than Sam could recall either of them smiling in the last few years. Did they really not see it? Or was it just some unspoken thing that would evolve on it’s own? He thought about saying something but if they were happy… 

Sam managed to drop the goofy, knowing smile off his face before replying to his brother, “yeah?”

“Dude, it’s, like, noon!”

Sam looked at his watch for the first time since waking up. The door to Dean’s room had been closed when he shuffled out and he hadn’t even noticed that they were gone. He had no proof that Dean and Cas had shared a room again last night, it was on and off throughout the week, but when they did the night was peaceful -- as it had been last night. So, Sam had slept naturally, no screams to wake him up and no alarm clock either. He woke up when his body told him to because, why not? The world wasn’t ending. Four hour nights were so far behind them that it was laughable to think they’d ever managed it. 

Cas leaned forward, a concerned look on his face. “Sam, are you ill?”

“So, I slept in!” Sam scoffed and sat down heavily at the table to eat. “A guy can’t enjoy a Saturday morning?”

Dean harrumphed and Cas rolled his eyes slightly. 

“Nice man-bun, by the way.” Dean mocked and pulled at it. It had been a week since Sam started sporting the new look and Dean made fun of him at least once a day about it. 

Sam jerked his head away and scowled at Dean as he tried to think of a comeback. “Yeah, well, nice... --” he faltered when he drew a blank but in his mind he finished with; _boyfriend_.

“Good try, Sammy.” Dean chuckled and patted his shoulder before retaking the shopping bags from the table. 

Sam pouted then looked at the bags again. “Are those all for Cas?”

“Yep, the man’s got no other clothes! We had to make sure he had variety. Right, Cas?” he asked and nudged the angel in the side playfully. 

Cas smirked and nodded at Dean before smiling at Sam. 

“Hey, alright but when you finish unpacking, we’ve caught a case!” Sam called to their backs as they started to walk away.

“Okay!” Dean shouted back from the hall.

**O.o.O.o**

“... that’s over twenty people in two weeks. Sound like us?” Sam finished his spiel by leaning back in his chair and looking up at Dean and Cas. 

“Yeah, you’re right. That looks like one of our things.” Dean said around the lip of the water bottle before taking a sip, tilting his head back to get to what remained in the mostly empty bottle. Cas watched the action carefully with wide blue eyes.

Sam caught Cas’ look and quirked his brow but said nothing; instead, he continued his conversation with Dean. “That’s what I thought too. It’s just a city over, I figured we could take it. Everyone else is busy and I haven’t found anything on Book of the Damned or opening the portal without...” he glanced at Cas, “-well, without Jack.”

Cas cast his eyes down, in a mixture of regret and sadness.

“Yeah, sure.” Dean said and capped the bottle “You comin’ Cas?”

Cas blinked and looked up again to meet Dean’s gaze. “Uh, actually, Jack wants me to go with him to Africa.”

A guttural sound came from Dean and they both looked at him strangely. “Jack’s a big boy,” Dean scoffed, “I think he can handle it on his own.”

“And you’re not a ‘big boy’?” Cas said with narrowed eyes, defensive.

Dean squared his shoulders to face Cas directly, squinted, and pursed his lips slightly as the two men raged a silent war. 

“Hey, guys, okay.” Sam stood from his seat to get their attention. “Knock it off!” he shouted when neither seemed to hear him.

“So, you’re just gonna keep zappin’ off around the world?” Dean said instead of listening to his brother’s attempt to diffuse the situation. “Thought you said you were gonna stick around this time.” 

“I am!” Cas outstretched his arms at his sides. “You have cases here and we have cases in other countries. It’s part of the job.”

“Don’t tell me about the job! I’ve been doing it way longer than you! 

Cas took a step closer to Dean, his jaw set. “I’m over a billion years old, much older than you, and I’ve spent my life fighting monsters and _celestial wars_.” he reminded.

“You know what, blow me, Cas!”

Sam flicked his eyes between the two, expecting someone to take that as an invitation rather than an insult.

“Dean, I’m just trying to say that there are problems _everywhere_... not just ‘in your neighborhood’.” 

“Oh, so, because it’s a case here in Kansas it’s not good enough- we’re not good enough? Is that what you’re saying?” Dean said and took a step closer.

“No, that’s _not_ what I’m saying.” 

“Well, what then? Why can’t we all go to Africa together? Why do you have to _leave_?” Dean said and crossed his arms.

Sam’s eyebrows shot up on his face and lips parted slightly to object. However, Cas beat him to the punch but with a low blow to Dean.

“Why can’t you just trust me?” his voice was soft, almost hurt, but his eyes remained fastened to Dean’s gaze. By the time the words left his mouth, he was standing directly in front of one Dean- Sam would barely be able to slide between them if he tried. 

Dean’s mouth opened then snapped shut but quickly reopened as the words came out so easily, so heartfelt, that it took Sam by surprise.

“I do trust you, Cas. I’m just worried. I can’t- I don’t have the ability to get to you as easily as you and Jack can and I _worry_ that if something happens… I won’t be able to get to you in time. I just… I can’t keep losing you.”

Cas took a step closer and put a gentle hand on the side of Dean’s face, his right thumb brushing up against Dean’s left cheekbone. Sam’s mouth snapped shut and he clenched his jaw, his eyes as wide as they could go. When did Cas and Dean move from shoulder squeezes to face touches? What was more shocking to Sam was Dean’s reaction.

His head jolted back on his neck briefly, like a bird, as though in temporary shock. But he did not move away, become angry, or even embarrassed- he just let it happen. Like, he needed it. As though the touch grounded him there to that moment. 

_Touch starved_ , Sam thought fleetingly. 

When Cas finally spoke, Sam jumped a little- the silence had stretched on since Cas had put his hand to Dean’s face while the two had a silent conversation once again. “You won’t. I’m coming back- I will always come back to you.” 

Those were the words. Those words were all Dean ever needed to hear, from anyone. Sam knew it and Cas knew it. Dean’s worst fear was being left alone, being abandoned. Knowing that he had people in his life that wouldn’t leave him- it was the most important thing. Cas knew that. And he meant it. 

Dean swallowed thickly and leaned into Cas’ hand for a brief moment. His lips parted to reply when another voice sounded from behind them, coming from the barracks.

“Castiel.”

Cas took a deep breath through his nose and dropped his hand from Dean who blinked rapidly, as though coming out of a trance. 

“Are you ready to leave?” Jack continued.

Sam stared at Jack then looked back at Dean and Cas- in the two seconds he’d looked away, Dean had already moved three paces backwards - putting distance between them - and wiped his hand across his mouth.

Cas looked back at Dean, who shook his head. Hesitantly, Cas turned back to Jack and nodded stiffly, his eyes were sad and downcast but his jaw was set with determination. “Yes.”

Before anyone could say ‘goodbye’, ‘good luck’, or otherwise, Jack transported himself and Cas out of the bunker with a single blink.

Dean pointed to the space where Jack had been standing. “I don’t trust him. Not even a little. That little punk is going to get Cas killed -- _again_.”

“Dean-”

“No, Sam. That is the _son_ of _Lucifer_! Why are we even letting him come in here or- or _fly around_ with Cas?”

“There’s this thing called ‘nature versus nurture’ and I think it applies here.” Sam said, putting his hands on his hips. “You have to give Jack a chance. He’s doing the right thing! Why is it so hard for you to see that he’s not born evil?”

“I don’t give a shit, that’s why! He ran off with Cas for weeks! _Weeks_ without so much as a hint at the fact he’d brought Cas back. That brat has something going on that he’s not telling us and if anything- anything happens to Cas...” he mumbled and wiped a hand down the side of his face.

“I know.”

“Do you?!” Dean lashed out; his eyes wide and upper lip stiff.

“Yes!”

Dean paused, staring at Sam intensely as though trying to weigh Sam’s affirmation against what he thought to be true. In the end, Dean rolled his eyes under closed eyelids and huffed.

“When will you two start listening to me?” Dean started, dejected. “Huh? How many times do I have to warn you two about stupid decisions? I’m not saying I’m right all the time, because we both know that that’s not true, I’ve caused just as much trouble but it was never because I trusted the wrong person. When it comes to trust… Sam, I know what I’m talking about when it comes to trusting shady people- and Jack is _damn_ shady!”

Sam dropped his head and stared at the letters etched into the table. He and Cas were both members of the ‘I Didn’t Listen to Dean and Lived to Regret It’ Club; Ruby, swallowing souls, and siding with the British Men of Letters were just to name a few. Team Free Will wasn’t new to making bad decisions thinking it was for the greater good of mankind or for one another but when it came to global scale incidents, Sam and Cas held the biggest trophies.

“That’s not fair, Dean, and you know it.”

Dean grunted, threw up his arms, and stormed out of the room. “Be ready in fifteen.” he shouted over his shoulder as he headed to his room.

**O.o.O.o**

“So, the medical examiner said that there didn’t seem anything out of the ordinary about the shooter. No drugs or alcohol in his system and apparently, prior to the shooting, the guy was an outstanding citizen.” Sam said, reading over the reports and notes the examiner and County Sheriff had given them under the guise of the FBI.

The man they were discussing had been an active shooter at a local theater and had been killed by officers on scene. The picture attached to his file was taken prior to his death; he was an average male with a wide smile that met his eyes. The name under the picture was: _George Schaeffer_.

Dean nodded absentmindedly. “There was nothing at the dude’s apartment either- no sulfur, no signs of witchcraft or... _anything_ out of the ordinary.”

“So what do you think? Vengeful Spirit?”

“Not sure, we’ll have to check up on the victims at the theater and see if there is any connection. Did The Sheriff give you the other cases too?” Dean asked and flipped the blinker to turn right onto the highway. 

“Yeah, she’s worried that it’s a drug epidemic. It’s a small town and most of the incidents have all been by people who had no priors and those that did were way out of their element.”

“And no obvious connection to any of the vics?”

“No.”

“Gunna be a longer case than I thought.” Dean paused and stared out at the empty stretch of highway thoughtfully. “Who was the first person to… go crazy?” he asked.

Sam flipped through the case folder, sifting through several faces and coroner reports. “Uuuh, Madison Davis.” Sam shook his head sadly. “Twenty-Six.” 

“How long ago?”

“Uh, two weeks ago.” Sam looked up from the file and squinted his eyes before thumbing through the pages and counting quietly to himself. “Sheriff Brady gave me twenty-three cases, that’s twelve victims of ‘gone crazy’ a week.” 

“What kind of vengeful spirit has enough mojo to manage that many possessions?”

“A very kill-crazy one.”

“With no M.O.? What the hell is going on?”

“I don’t know.”

“We gotta be missing something.”

Silence befell the impala for most of the drive down the highway. They’d entered in the address last known address of Madison Davis. Her roommate at the time still resided there and they wanted to follow-up with questions of their own.

Sam looked up from his records now and then to look over at Dean and found his brother to look distressed, his jaw clenched and eyes darting down to look at his phone every so often. It had only been two days since Team Free Will had all gone their separate ways, Cas wherever Jack took them and Dean and himself to follow this case. In those two days, Dean had progressively become more anxious. 

“Dean, road.” Sam said and started to reach for the steering wheel when Dean had taken an especially long gaze at his phone as though willing it to ring. 

“Dammit, Sam.” Dean corrected the car while simultaneously batting Sam’s hand away.

Sam huffed but continued to stare at Dean’s profile. “Why don’t you just call him?”

“What?”

“Call Cas, check in on him. I’m sure he’s waiting for you to call him just as much as you’re waiting for him to call you.”

“What is this, Sammy? Middle school? I’m not going to call him like some lovesick crush. 

“That’s what you’re doing!” Sam said and pointed at the phone. “You might as well be lying on your bed with your feet in the air, staring at a damn thing.” 

“Shuddup.” Dean snapped.

“I’m just saying-”

“He’s a grown ass man- angel... being of celestial intent- _whatever_ … he can take care of himself. He made that perfectly clear back at home.”

“Oh my god, Dean. You know that’s not what he meant.”

“Nope, he doesn’t need us.”

“Dean, stop! Now you _are_ acting like a 12 year old girl!” Sam shouted and turned slightly in his seat so he could face Dean more fully. Dean started at being called a girl but settled for a heated glare rather than a comeback. “You’re deflecting.” Sam added.

Dean blinked slowly and watched the road intently, no longer interested in his silent phone or their conversation.

“This is getting really old… you two dancing around each other like this.” Sam muttered and fell back into his seat properly to look out his passenger side window.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Dean bit out.

“Don’t I?” Sam asked, his voice soft and without malice. “I’ve seen you two together- --” he started and then thought better of it. “Listen, normally I wouldn’t say anything… I _haven’t_ said anything in the last nine years. But things are different now and I can’t watch you two keep doing this- and I won’t let you hurt Cas just because of your deep seated sublimation about talking about your feelings.”

“Shuddup.”

“This is what I’m talking about. I’m your brother, we’re supposed to talk about this stuff.” Sam said. _Like we did on the way to the airport_ , he added in his mind.

“Not me, Sammy. You know-”

“I know that you care about Cas and you’re worried about him.” Dean opened his mouth to interject but Sam continued, “I also know that you and Jack have some serious problems.”

“What is with you today, Sam?! No, I’m not ‘ _jealous_ ’ of Jack.” his face soured when he said the nephilim’s name, like the mention of him alone as bitter as a lemon.

“Are you jealous of his relationship with Cas?”

Dean said nothing and started to turn off the highway, checking his blind-spots as he did so. 

“Listen, I’m not trying- it’s just that you two seem to have this, I dunno, rivalry or something.”

Dean brooded, if life was a cartoon steam would blow out of his nose every time he exhaled. Sam’s comparison to Dean’s expression to a cartoon made him realize he’d been watching too much Scooby Doo with Jack. 

“Dean?” Sam tried again to get his brother to open up.

Dean grumbled to himself, his lips stiff and brow pinched.

Sam watched his brother; watching for Dean’s bitter reaction to Sam’s words. The dynamic was becoming clearer and he would laugh if it wasn’t so serious. Fighting with a nephilim was the last thing they needed. Things were relatively good right now. No need to upset it.

In the meantime, they had instructed both Cas and Jack to be careful any chance they got. They were now Heaven’s Most Wanted, again, and the angels were on the prowl. Which, in turn, only added to Dean’s distress. He worried constantly that neither celestial beings were safe from ‘the dicks with wings’. 

As of late, Sam had recognized that Dean and Cas acted more like an old married couple than anything else. It had been that way ever since they’d met nine years ago, the bond grew stronger after Purgatory and had steadily increased since then. The broken family dynamic between Cas, Dean, and Jack was clear; long time lovers having to adjust to suddenly having a child. It was a matter of getting the three men to see it so they could improve upon it. At present, it was a contest between Dean and Jack, both of them vying for love and attention from one person who had enough love for both of them and more. The two rivals didn’t see it like that. 

Instead of replying, Dean looked back down at the phone sitting on the bench between them.

Sam shoved his hair out of his eyes, now that he had removed the hair tie it fell in his face as usual. “Dean?”

“What?” his brother bit out. “I don’t like Jack, I don’t trust him, and I’m pissed that no one sees it but me. I don’t like that Cas keeps leaving. I’m mad that we can’t seem to get what we need to get Mom back or close Hell! I’m still worried that the British Dicks of Letters are going to come back for revenge on what we did to their scouts. The angels are still after Cas because of what happened at the sandbox and Jack for even being born. The world may not be in the middle of an apocalypse right now but it’s like we’re constantly fighting an uphill battle!”

Sam stared at his brother and released a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding during Dean’s rant.

“There. You happy? That’s how I _feel_ right now.”

“Is that all?” Sam asked lightheartedly, offering an exaggerated frown. 

“No. ‘I hate you’. There, now I’m done.” he replied sarcastically.

“We’ll get the upper hand soon, Dean. We gotta win by getting Cas back and finding Jack before he could go off the deep end and destroy the world. You have to take what we get, Dean.”

“I know…”

“And, I’m almost done with the algorithm for the American Hunter’s thing I’m making-”

“You gotta pick a better name for what you’re doin’, Sam.”

Sam rolled his eyes. “Shut up.” 

Dean chuckled to himself and they fell into silence again as they pulled up to the driveway of the roommate, Denise Jackson. 

“In all seriousness though.” Dean said just as Sam went to open his door to get out. “I’m proud of you. What you’re doin’... it’s real good. I know it’ll work.”

Sam smiled, his eyes wide and slightly dewy. “Thanks, Dean.”

“Yeah.” Dean nodded heavily before growling at his own sensitivity and pushed his way out of his door like a man.

**O.o.O.o**

Dean sipped on the lemonade that Denise had brought out to them while Sam’s sat on the coffee table in front of him. Denise came back into the room and sat on the adjacent chair to the loveseat the boys sat on.

“I don’t understand, I went over all this with the police.”

Sam nodded his understanding in the empathetic way he always managed. “We know, Ms. Jackson. It’s just a few more questions to clear some things up on our end. We really appreciate you going over it again. I know this has been a difficult time for you.” 

Denise nodded somberly and dropped her hands into her lap and intertwined her fingers. “Madison was the greatest, everyone loved her and she loved everyone. She didn’t have a harsh bone in her body if she tried…” Denise sniffled. “All of her free time was dedicated to volunteer work around the town; retirement homes, animal shelters, nature walk tours…”

Dean grabbed at some tissues sitting beside the couch on the end table and hands it to Denise who take it with a forced but grateful smile.

“I’m sorry,” she managed after blowing her nose rather obnoxiously, sounding something akin to an elephant, “you said you had some questions?”

“Yes, in the last couple months or so, did Madison begin to act strangely? Wanting to be alone more often than before, or hanging around new people that she didn’t before?” Sam asked.

Denise shook her head.

“Had you noticed anything off about the house, like, flickering lights or cold spots?” Dean asked, his expression casual.

Denise frowned and looked at him strangely, “Uh, no? What does that have to do with Madison killing those people?”

Sam raised his eyebrows and pouted his lip, Dean doing a similar expression. “We just need to ask it, just basic questions.” Sam provided.

Denise hesitated before nodding slowly but her answer was still a no. 

“Can you think of _anything_ she might have done that was new, something she’d never done or said before?”

Instinctively, Denise began to shake her head but stopped herself, her mouth dropping open. “Well, actually… she did get a tattoo the day before.”

“A tattoo.” Dean said impassively, arching a brow.

Sam did one of his famous ‘not a frown’ frown and nodded. “Okay…” he said and scribbled it on his notepad.

After a few more of the usual, awkward questions the boys ruled out the usual suspects and stood gracefully from the couch. Dean set down his empty glass besides Sam’s full one which was still sweating condensation.

Denise followed them to the door and held it open as they walked through. “Thank you so much for your time Ms. Jackson. Our condolences for your loss.”

“Thank you…” Denise said quietly and slowly closed the door behind them.

“Well, I got nothing.” Dean said as he opened his door and dropped into the seat. 

Sam was not more than two seconds behind in his actions and joined his brother in the car. “I know, everything points to a spirit but… maybe a cursed object? Like the penny or Bobby’s flask?”

“No, none of these people have a connection. And if it was a cursed object wouldn’t the first respondent's be the victims of ‘the crazy’?”

“Yeah, I guess.” Sam said and opened the file again. 

“Alright, let’s head back to the motel. Hit the internet and see what comes up.”

“We could call Cas…?” Sam suggested.

Dean cast him a glare before putting the car into gear and driving off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos are appreciated but I'd really love a comment on this chapter- it wasn't easy! _Positive Reinforcement_ **AND** Constructive Criticism is welcome!
> 
> XOXO


	8. 13x07 Part TWO

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Follow up (cop-out) on the Vengeful Spirit Case but mostly domestic fluff between TFW and some Jack emo angst bullshit. 
> 
> The main focus is what I wish would be said between Dean and Cas. So prepare for the cliche asks of Destiel fandom. I'm lame, I know. 
> 
> Sorry not sorry.

**13x07 Part TWO**

Dean stretched out on one of the full sized mattresses in the hotel room while Sam worked at the small table by the window. Both of them clicked and typed furiously at their laptops when Dean looked up from his and addressed Sam. 

 

“Hey, you remember at the morgue, that weird blotchy thing on Schaeffer’s arm?”

 

Sam stopped typing and leaned back in his chair to think back. “Yeah, uh, I think he said it was an infected tattoo or something like that…”

 

“All that black goo, remember?”

 

“I thought that was ink.”

 

“I don't think so.” Dean thought more seriously and narrowed his eyes slightly. “Doc said something about it being recent too.” Dean said and leaned forward from his reclined position.

 

Sam furrowed his brow and tilted his head. “So, what, you think that it’s something to do with… tattoos?”

 

“Well, Madison got one the day before and so did Schaeffer. I’m thinkin’ we look into the others and see if they had a recent stop to a tattoo parlor.”

 

**O.o.O.o**

 

“A cursed tattoo gun? That’s a new one.” Dean mumbled as he put the bag of salt and fuel back into the trunk of the impala, Sam already reaching for the passenger side door. 

 

“Possession through tattoos is definitely new.” Sam said idly as he dropped into his seat in unison with his brother.

 

Dean huffed as he started the car and shook his head. “I love how this job never ceases to surprise me.”

 

“Shea-” Sam scoffed just as Dean pulled them out of the tattoo parlor’s parking lot.

 

“Let’s head home…” 

  
  


When they got back to the bunker, Dean immediately checked the kitchen and then the bedrooms. The bunker was empty aside from the brothers and left Dean slightly dejected. Sam had suggested calling Cas again but Dean just sighed and mentioned a shower as he left the library. 

 

Sam rolled his eyes and sat back down at the table where he’d left The Book of the Damned and sighed. Twenty minutes passed before he heard Dean come out of the bathroom and for those twenty minutes Sam had been pouring over the first few pages of The Book while trying to cross reference with the resources at his disposal. He got nothing. 

 

Another hour went by and Dean hadn’t emerged from that side of the bunker and Sam assumed he’d locked himself in his room. 

 

He slammed The Book closed, frustrated that he could do nothing with it, and prepared to go get Dean. As he began to lean back in his chair, his phone rang. He sat back up to claim it from the table and looked at the caller ID:  **_Jody_ ** .

 

“Jody,” Sam greeted, a smile on his face.

 

_ “Hey, Sam. Claire is headin’ your way.”  _

 

Sam pursed his lips and worried his brow. “Is everything okay?”

 

_ “Oh, yeah! Everything’s fine. Dean told her about Castiel being back and she’s too impatient for them to come to her. She wants it to be a surprise but I figured someone should know about it.” _

 

A smile on his face, Sam fell back into the chair. “Well, thanks. How are you doing?”

 

_ “Yeah, fine. You know, work and hunting. The house is empty more often than not these days. Alex is doing great in college and Claire is kicking ass and taking names. I’m proud of them.” _

 

“And you should be. You did good, Jody. They’re great.” Sam praised. 

 

_ “Yeah, well, if you come across any more strays…”  _  Jody joked and paused.  _ “You know, I’m proud of you boys too.”  _

 

The corner of his mouth lifted slightly. Jody’s words carried a lot of weight and it meant a lot to hear from Jody that she was proud. They had their mom back for a time but Jody had been there for years, she was their ‘other mother’. He swallowed thickly and smiled, his eyes dewy. “Thanks, Jody.” 

 

_ “How are you doin’?” _

 

Sam took a deep breath before answering, “I’m fine. It’s- things feel like they should.” he paused and then frowned, realizing what he’d just said. “I mean, not really. We’re still missing Mom.”

 

_ “Yeah, of course… _ ”

 

“But, there’s no ‘end is nigh’ and things are coming together. I’ve been working on a program similar to what the British Men of Letters had. I’m hoping to make up a network that all the hunters can log into and see potential cases. It’s slow going but once I have it, it’ll be great.” 

 

_ “Good. And Dean? I ask him and he always has the same answer...”  _

 

“‘I’m fine’.” they both said in unison, Jody lowering voice to sound gravelly and masculine. They laughed and Sam nodded.

 

“He really is this time, Jody.” he closed his eyes in satisfaction as though it was still the best thing he’d said in a long time. “Having Cas back, it’s made a huge difference. He’s still set on fixing the world and getting Mom back but… he’s better.” 

 

_ “I’m glad. You both deserve to be ‘better’, do I dare say, ‘happy’?” _

 

Sam chuckled. “We’re working on it.”

 

_ “About damn time.” _ she replied and took a deep breath.  _ “Anyway, I gotta get back to work. Just wanted to warn you about ‘the surprise’. She’s really looking forward to seeing you guys.” _

 

“Well so are we, it’s been too long.” For Dean the last time he’d seen her was after she’d been turned into a werewolf. It had been much longer for Castiel. 

 

_ “Take care of yourself, I’ll see you.”  _

 

“You too, Jody. Bye.” 

 

Sam hung up the phone and tossed it, from his reclined position, onto the table. He stared at the book in front of him and it quickly turned into a glare. Shoving away from the chair, he left it closed and started for his room. He paused by Dean’s door but found the room was empty. 

 

_ Maybe he wasn’t sulking _ , he thought.

 

He closed himself into his own room and came back out dressed in sweats and a t-shirt then went for a run outside. 

 

**O.o.O.o**

 

Sam came back to the Bunker to find Jack sitting at the library table, with The Book of the Damned opened in front of him. Though initially surprised to see him there, Sam plastered on a smile and went to greet the young man. 

 

“Hey, Jack.” he said, slightly out of breath as he descended the stairs. “How was Africa?”

 

“Africa?” Jack asked without looking up from the pages he was looking over.

 

“Yeah, Cas-  _ tiel _ ” Sam stumbled to use Cas’ full name around Jack, “-said you two were heading to Africa before you two left.” Sam said and came up to stand at the end of the table that Jack was sat at.

 

“Oh, we didn’t stay there long.”

 

Sam wanted to ask where else they had gone but getting information out of Jack was like pulling teeth. He knew that they’d be there for hours before he got the answer he was looking for. Instead, Sam looked between Jack’s face and The Book.

 

“Can you read that?” Sam asked hopefully.

 

“No.”

 

Sam frowned in slight disappointed but he didn’t really know what he was expecting. He was part angel but not Chuck, who could give himself the ability to do whatever he wanted.

 

Jack looked up and stared at Sam, his eyes flicking up and down the whole of the man’s appearance. “You’re sweating.”

 

“Yeah,” Sam laughed breathily as he came up to stand beside Jack, “I just went for a run.”

 

“Why?”

 

Sam scratched at the scruff on his face. “Uh, it helps me think. And it’s good for me, physically.”

 

“You should try meditating.” Jack said and looked back at The Book. He seemed unconvinced of the benefit of running.

 

With an exaggerated bob of the head, Sam laughed with a short breath out of his nose. “Yeah, alright. I’ll try that next time.” He pulled out a chair and sat adjacent to Jack. “How was your day?”

 

“How was… my day?” Jack asked and tilted his head as he looked back at Sam.

 

“Yeah, like, ‘ _ how was it _ ’? ‘Good’, ‘bad’, ‘could have been better’?”

 

Jack seemed to contemplate the idea of defining his day, his brow furrowed as he diverted his gaze to the wall. “It was  _ ‘could have been better’ _ .” the words sounded strange, thick in Jack’s throat, as though he’d never used them before.

 

“Did something bad happen? Is Cas okay?” Sam went from 0 to 100 in what felt like half a second, the panic of realizing that Cas wasn’t in the room with them and Jack ‘could have been better’.

 

“Of course, that’s why I go around the world. To stop it.”

 

“And Cas.” 

 

“Is fine. I don’t know where he is though.”

 

Sam released a sigh of relief and felt his shoulders sag. He looked around the bunker again as though expecting Cas to emerge from one of the entrances but when he didn’t, Sam continued their conversation. “Okay, but did something bad happen to  _ you _ that made the day, ‘could have been better’?”

 

“No.”

 

Sam offered a half-smile. “Okay, then… What did you do?”

 

“I saved people and served justice when necessary.”

 

“Did you go anywhere interesting?” Sam was beginning to feel like he was playing ‘20 Questions’ but getting Jack to open up wasn’t easy. 

 

“I go wherever I want.” Jack said. His tone was condescending but his expression was passive, his eyes holding Sam’s gaze. He was invested in the conversation but wasn’t sure why.

 

Sam nodded in understanding. “Yeah, I know you can. But, anywhere  _ special _ ? Did you see something or someone that… I dunno, interested you? Fascinated you about the world?”

 

“I…” Jack looked down and frowned. “Humans take life for granted.”

 

The Winchester balked at first, surprised at the profound and blunt response, then nodded and took a deep breath through his nose. “Yeah, I see that too. But I don’t think it’s intentional, Jack. I think-” he paused and thought about what he wanted to say. 

 

Everything Jack saw and heard molded him into who he would be and Sam felt that that was a something they all had to keep in mind when they were around or talking with Jack. They had to show Jack the good in humanity because all Jack saw when he ‘saved’ people was the violence and negativity in the world. 

 

“I think that when  we see the things around us, even beautiful things, the more we see it, the more we- -- the less we notice that it’s there. We become accustomed to things that are always around; flowers, birds, the sky, stars... even those we love.” Sam paused as people he’d loved and lost flickered through his mind, Bobby, Dad, Jess, Charlie, Ellen and Jo… even Cas. 

He thought about how Dean and Cas, even himself, had had so many chances in life and still they seemed to take loved ones for granted, always assuming there was more time. Had he even told Cas that? If they, men who face death every day, couldn’t appreciate those things, what hope did anyone else have? Maybe that was changing, Dean and him had had this talk only weeks ago. Dean seemed to be expressing his feelings for Cas more outwardly but was it said yet- did they have that talk? 

 

“But, don’t think that people don’t appreciate it.” Sam finally found the words to continue, lying to Jack about how he really felt about appreciation, he could only attest to what he hoped humanity shared. “This world has seen its fair share of apocalypses. I’d like to think that people know that life is short and take advantage of it when they can.  _ And  _ I’d like to think that that’s changed a lot of people’s outlooks on life and made it a better place… even if it’s not obvious all the time. But we can’t take advantage of it every day, if we did we wouldn’t appreciate it just like we don’t appreciate the sky as often as we could.”

 

Jack took a deep breath and looked down at the book again. 

 

“Does that… help?” Sam asked when Jack didn’t reply for a few beats.

 

“Perhaps. I believe- I’m not sure yet.”

 

Sam scrunched his face and nodded. “Alright, hey, it’s all new- I get it. If you have questions, we’re all here to help; Cas, Dean, and myself.”

 

Jack looked up at the mention of Dean, his eyes narrowed and flashed momentarily with what looked like anger to Sam. 

 

The Winchester tilted his head but wasn’t sure how to ask if Jack had a problem with Dean so he changed the subject, thinking that he would broach the topic later. He stood and knocked on the wood lightly. 

 

“Alright, well, I’m going to take a shower.” Sam started to walk away, then paused to add; “Oh and, one of our friends is coming to visit. Her name is Claire, she was Castiel’s previous vessel’s daughter.”

 

Though his expression was passive, Jack’s eyes darted around his head as he computed what Sam had said, trying to track down what it meant. It was like wrapping your mind around: ‘if Teresa’s daughter is my daughter’s mother, then what is my relationship to Teresa?’.

 

“Don’t worry about it, you’ll like her.” Sam dismissed with the wave of his hand and left the room to take a shower.

 

Jack pouted his lip slightly and looked down at The Book once more.

 

**O.o.O.o**

 

Dean came out from the hallway into the library with a stack of books in his hand, still trying to find a way to get Mary back. He was now attempting summoning spells of other people. It was ridiculous but they were running out of ideas and Mary could be running out of time. He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Cas standing at the edge of a table, staring at it intently. Dean looked around the rest of the room and found it empty aside from the two of them.

 

“Cas…?” he said softly, softer than he knew that he could.

 

Cas looked up at him, his face relaxed and a small smile tugged at a corner of his mouth. “Hello, Dean.” 

 

Dean swallowed and stepped forward, placing his stack of books on the second table. “Good, uh… good to have you back, man.” he said and looked Cas up and down, he was wearing an olive green v-neck, jeans, and his loafers; inadvertently matching Dean’s black tee and open green flannel shirt.

 

“Good to be back.” Cas smiled genuinely.

 

Feeling that the air was clear, Dean walked up to the table where Cas was standing. “So, what are you doing?”

 

“I was curious about this.” Cas said and pointed at the place where Dean and Sam had carved their initials. “I keep passing it and each time I do I wonder why you did it.”

 

Dean came around the corner of the table to stand beside Cas in looking at the etchings. “We… we wanted to make our mark. It was important that we didn’t feel like if we died no one would even know we were here. That we would be completely forgotten. This way… whoever finds this place after us, will know that  _ someone _ was here. That this place was a  _ home _ . You know?”

 

While Dean spoke, he stared intently at the etchings on the table but Cas had kept his gaze on Dean’s profile the whole time. The angel smiled fondly as he regarded Dean, his eyes flicking between Dean’s lips and eyes. “I understand. I often feel the same way when I think about when I’ll be gone.” 

 

Dean’s eyes snapped so quickly between the table and meeting Cas’ gaze that it hurt the muscles behind his eyes. “Cas…”

 

He looked deeply into the green eyes staring at him with such intensity that it stole his words.

 

“Where- where did you go? When you died. Do you remember anything?” Dean’s voice was small and gruff.

 

“I believe I went to ‘the empty’ that Billie often spoke about. I remember feeling lost and slightly panicked but I don’t know that it was so much my feelings but an echo of what was around me.”

 

Dean’s breath hitched and he swallowed thickly, his lips slightly parted.

 

“There’s really not much to recall.” Cas admitted. He could tell that Dean was upset but he wasn’t sure why and he said as much; “you’re upset.” 

 

“I’m not upset with  _ you _ , Cas.” Dean replied. “I just… those ‘cosmic consequences’.” he shook his head sadly.

 

Cas bowed his head, contrite. He knew what Dean was saying and implying. Though he was able to be brought back from the empty rather than if he’d truly burnt out, ‘the empty’ was likely a more harrowing experience than simply ceasing to exist. Dean imagined it was like hell had been for him or Sam, at first it was true amnesia, but eventually the memories come back. It was one of the things that Cas feared when the bunker was silent and everyone was asleep, one day ‘the empty’ would haunt him and it was all because he broke the deal with Billie. He had accepted those consequences, for the Winchester’s sakes but Dean hadn’t. Couldn’t. 

 

Dean swallowed thickly but held Cas’ gaze. “Cas, I thought that this last time was _the last_ _time_. I- you were dead, I saw your wings for christ’s sake. For weeks I researched and I couldn’t find a single thing that could bring you back. Not one. And it tore me up inside. I felt like there was this- this part of me missing, like a hole in my soul, I felt empty. And a lot of it was because there were so many things that I realized I never told you. Things that you _deserved_ to hear. Things that I _needed_ you to hear.”

 

He looked up to meet Dean’s gaze. Bright green eyes were wide and bright as they looked into Cas’ being, pleading with him to hear every word Dean had to say and more. “Dean-”

 

“No,” Dean raised his hand, “please, I need to get through this.”

 

Cas hesitated before nodding, his face pinched with an unspoken emotion that Dean couldn’t define.

 

“You and Sam… you guys are  _ everything  _ to me. And before you start thinking that you know, you don’t. Sam is my brother and I will do - and I have done - anything for him. It’s catastrophic sometimes but none of us are strangers to ‘the road paved with good intentions’. But you, Cas, you’re my best friend and I  _ will  _ do anything for you. I haven’t been there the way I should have been in the past-”

 

“-Dean…”

 

Shaking his head at Cas’ intention to interrupt, Dean continued; “-but when you died, I would have given _anything_ to bring you back. _Anything_. I need you, man.” Dean took a steadying breath when Cas’ eyes grew wider and lips parted. “I need you.” he repeated. “I need you to know that. I need you to know _how_ _much_ you mean to me because I can’t keep losing you. I can’t keep letting you think that you don’t mean as much to me as Sam does. You are _not_ expendable, Cas, you’re not. When are you gonna get that through your thick skull? The angels might have raised you to believe that that’s all you are: a soldier with a purpose to fulfill until you can’t anymore. But that’s not you. You are so much more than some weapon to be wielded or a tool to be used. And I can’t keep letting you run off or sacrificing yourself for ‘the cause’. I can’t.”

 

Cas blinked quickly, as though closing his eyes for too long would whisk away the moment and make it a dream. His eyes were wide and bright as he stared into Dean’s eyes, taking in every moment and every word like his very existence depended on it.

 

“I’m done trying to keep all these emotions inside.” Dean indicated to himself, making a fist and holding it against his chest- giving a visual to the ball of unspoken emotion he’d held in his heart for far too long. “I’ve gone too long treating you and Sam like… --I don’t  _ show _ it well enough for it to go unspoken.” he finished with a slight laugh at himself, nothing more than a sharp exhale through his nose. “I think my love for those close to me does more harm than good. I ain’t good at it but I need you to know that I do.”

 

“Dean…” Cas finally said when Dean’s speech ended and seconds stretched on. There was so much that he wanted to say in return but was afraid he would trip over it and ruin the precious moment. 

 

“I don’t need you to say anything back.” Dean whispered and lowered his head, bowing it slightly. “I just needed you to know. Do you understand?”

 

“Yes,” Cas nodded, his eyebrows raised to pinch his forehead in worry, “I understand.”

 

“Good.” Dean said and then pulled out a switchblade and snapped it open with a click. 

 

Cas stared at it with wide eyes, wondering what Dean could possibly intend to do with it.

 

“Now, I don’t intend on letting you die anytime soon but…” he flicked the knife so that it flipped in the air a single time before catching the blade between his thumb and the side of his index finger, extending the handle to Cas. “... you should make your mark.”

 

Cas smiled wide enough that the corners of his eyes crinkled and he took the knife gently out from between Dean’s fingers. He then leaned over the table and etched in the letters for ‘CAS’, over Dean’s initials but slightly crooked. 

 

When he was finished both men stood over the table with a sense of pride and accomplishment. Dean looked over to Cas with a smile playing at his lips and Cas did the same. 

 

The moment was interrupted by the sound of knocking on the bunker door. 

 

They shared a look, one that said;  _ who the hell is that _ ? and  _ trouble? _

 

Dean called for Sam just as the knocking repeated, louder this time. He and Cas moved for the stairs just as Sam rounded the corner and asked what the problem was, when he saw Dean and Cas both wary with weapons drawn; Cas a switchblade and Dean his side arm. 

 

He was about to draw his own weapon when it dawned on him who it was but not before it was too late to warn Cas and Dean who swung the door open with weapons pointed at the person standing in the doorway. 

 

“Whoa- whoa- whoa!” Claire said with raised hands but a smile. “Surprise!”

 

Dean and Cas both faltered, their arms dropping and eyes wide. “Claire…” Dean said softly while Cas was speechless.

 

Claire looked between the two of them and then checked out Cas’ new appearance. Before anything else could be done or said, Claire threw herself into Cas and wrapped her arms around his middle. Cas was careful with the point of the blade but gently embraced her in return, looking to Dean first before he lowered the side of his head to meet the top of hers.

 

Dean smiled and looked down over the railing to see a satisfied, knowing smile on Sam’s face. The younger brother shrugged and mouthed the word; ‘ _ surprise’ _ . 

 

Just as Dean was about to say something, Claire pulled away from Cas to hug Dean. He smiled and hugged back but couldn’t resist teasing her. “Claire, all these hugs, you goin’ soft on us?”

 

She pulled back and walloped Dean in the arm. “Shut up. I thought I’d never see the two of you again. Give me a break.” she leaned over the railing and saw Sam and waved, “Hey, Sam!”

 

“Hey, Claire! Good to see you!”

 

“You too.” she said and then shoved her duffle bag into Dean’s chest roughly. The Winchester grunted with the sudden jab and then from the weight of the bag.

 

“Jesus, Claire, what’s in here, bricks?”

 

“Maybe,” she said dismissively and turned towards Cas again. “Give me a tour?”

 

“Ah,” Cas said and looked to Dean who shrugged and fumbled to get a proper hold on the bag, “yes.” he finally managed and ushered the way down the stairs with a wide arm spread. 

 

Once he found the strap for the bag, Dean managed to shoulder it and offer to take the knife back from Cas. 

 

One of the first things she saw was the giant hole in the wall with crumbled cement still all around it. 

 

“What the hell happened there?”

 

Dean shifted and shouldered the bag more so he could hold his head up higher. “Grenade launcher.” he smirked proudly.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How am I supposed to know if I'm boring you, too cliche, or otherwise if you don't say so? 
> 
> Just type 'thumbs up' or 'thumbs down' in the comment section and I'll be SO happy! 
> 
> Thanks for getting this far!


	9. 13x08

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More domestic but mostly for plot development this time. I'm SORRY that I love family time with my boys! I can't help it...

** 13x08 **

The kitchen was filled with everyone in the bunker. Cas and Dean were standing by the stove because Dean was teaching Cas how to make burgers. Sam, Claire, and Jack were all sitting around the table talking about the American Hunters, algorithms to predict behavior, as well as types of traps around the country. 

Scooby Doo played from the tv as background noise but Jack would occasionally be distracted by it and watch the cartoon rather than discuss roles in eradicating monsters and all around evil. 

Claire indicated at Jack subtly to Sam while the nephilim was distracted by cartoons. And they had a silent conversation entirely made up of facial expressions and the occasional mouthed word.

 _Creepy_ , she mouthed to Sam then looked over to Jack who was wearing a gray t-shirt and a red hoodie, tugging at the hood strings. At the moment, he looked innocent enough but if he wasn’t engrossed in television, he was brooding like an emo kid. 

Sam tilted his head and grimaced in subtle agreement.

_Trust him?_

Sam nodded over to Cas and then nodded. He pointed to Dean and shook his head then indicated to himself and, with the same hand, waved it back and forth in a ‘kinda’ gesture. 

Claire considered the response with a grim expression. When Jack suddenly turned back to look at them she quickly grabbed her glass of milk and drank from it, diverting her gaze to look anywhere but the people sitting around her. 

“Okay, dinner.” Dean said with impeccable timing.

Claire shot out of her chair like a rocket to prepare her burger with the condiments and toppings she wanted.

Once everyone had their food, Dean insisted they turn off the tv and eat properly. Which they did. Cas sat between Claire and Jack while Dean sat across from him with Sam to his right, across from Claire. 

“So, what have you been doing, Claire?” Dean asked and took a sip from his beer.

Claire shrugged in order to bide her time while trying to swallow the massive bite she’d just taken from her burger. She swallowed with effort and looked to Dean. “I dunno, just huntin’ you know? Jody got a hold of me after your big speech,” she said looking at Sam briefly, “and said that it was time to come home.”

She looked over at Cas then, her expression somber. “I’m glad you’re okay.” she said softly.

Cas smiled. “I’m glad _you’re_ okay. I’m sorry I wasn’t there when…”

“Don’t…” Claire said and raised a hand. 

Jack peered over and looked between Cas and Claire and then looked to Dean was who smiling. Sam smirked and bent down to take another bite of burger, washing it down with beer.

Most of dinner was filled with back and forth playful bickering that had everyone laughing and smiling. They resorted to talking about this and that with the occasional story about a crazy hunt that was either ridiculous - _including killing Hitler_ \- or a close call - _**not** including being turned into a werewolf or Cas dying_. 

Before long, a previous argument between Dean and Sam came up and the two dove into a heated debate as though they hadn’t ever stopped arguing about it.

“I wanted a variety that day!” Sam shouted defensively, waving his hand about as he did.

“Well, Sam!” Dean boasted and leaned back so he could meet his brother’s eyes. “If you wanted _variety_ then you should have eaten the goddamn shrimp taco!”

“I know what shrimp tacos taste like, Dean, I don’t like them.” 

“How do you know that it wasn’t different- there are _different_ types of tacos, Sam. It is not a ‘try one, try them all’ situation!”

Sam raised his nose in the air as though the taco in question was still being shoved in his face. “Shrimp and tacos do not go together.”

“Well, it was delicious. Your loss.” Dean grumped and leaned back over his food. 

Claire laughed and Cas smirked while Jack stared between the brothers in confusion, not understanding the sibling rivalry or how they could take something so trivial so personally- especially for something that happened two years ago. 

Idle chat filled the kitchen as everyone finished their plates of food.

“So, I’ll make up a room for you to stay in.” Dean said when conversation lapsed. He wiped ketchup off the corner of his mouth with his thumb then licked it off. “You can stay as long as you want.” 

“Thanks,” Claire said with a sideways smile.

Dean nodded and smiled but then seemed to remember who else was staying with them and he cast a wary glance over to Jack, his smile faltering. Jack appeared oblivious but Dean knew that he knew that he was being watched. 

“These burgers were amazing.” Claire said around her last mouthful of food.

Dean didn’t respond, he was still staring at Jack. Both Cas and Sam noticed and Sam looked to Cas and saw the worried look from the angel, so he kicked Dean under the table. Dean started and at first glared at Sam then realized that he’d been in a bitter stupor. “Oh, uh, what? Sorry, Claire…”

“She said the burgers are good.” Sam said deeply.

Dean’s eyes widened and he nodded. “Oh, yeah. Thanks. The, uh, fried eggs make a hell of a difference, huh?”

She nodded adamantly despite the glance she gave Sam at realizing that something had changed. Dean couldn’t help but look back at Jack- ignoring or not seeing Cas’ look of desperation.

An awkward silence befell the room as everyone tried to gauge feelings and where the awkwardness had stemmed from.

Sam cleared his throat loudly. “So, Claire-”

“I can read your thoughts, Dean.” Jack said darkly.

Claire stopped mid drink, Sam choked on his own words and stared between Dean and Jack, while Cas looked appalled and opened his mouth to interject.

Dean, instead of being shocked or embarrassed, simply said; “prove me wrong,” got up and started to clean the kitchen.

Sam looked to Cas. “I’ll talk to him,” he said just above a whisper.

Without needing an invitation, Claire stood and handed Sam her plate before making a hasty retreat out of the room. Jack followed soon after, sending one last glance in Dean’s direction before he turned out of the kitchen. Cas waiting a moment longer, having a silent debate with Sam on who should talk to Dean. Sam won.

Once alone in the kitchen, Sam collected all the plates and brought them over to the sink. The brothers worked together in silence for the first few minutes, Dean appreciating it but little did he know it was only because Sam was working on what words to use before settling on:

“So, you wanna tell me what all that was about?”

Dean huffed and slammed the refrigerator door after placing the ketchup and pickles on the shelf. “Not really.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s going to turn into a fight.”

“It’s going to turn into a fight if you don’t talk to me.” Sam said and turned to face his brother, his hip resting on the side of the counter and his arms crossed against his chest.

“Sam…” Dean tried to warn.

“Dean, do _not_ make Cas pick between the two of you.”

“What?!” Dean barked into a harsh laugh.

Sam rolled his eyes and turned his head away. “Did you ever stop to think that your attitude affects the way Jack perceives you? Or that Jack’s opinion of you weighs on Cas?”

Dean threw his arms over his head and stomped back towards the table to pick up what remained there- mostly glasses and unused silverware. 

Sam was about to give up when Dean spoke, his hands planted on the surface of the table as he leaned over it. When he talked, it was to the wall but addressed to Sam. “I don’t want him here, Sam. I don’t like having him around and I just- I know he’s going to… it’s just a matter of time before I have to put an angel bullet in his brain.”

 _Angel bullet?_ Sam asked himself. _When did Dean make angel bullets?_

“because you have to or because you _want_ to?”

“Why can't it be both?” Dean said grimly. 

“He brought Cas back and he’s trying to help the world, what more do you want? You're not even giving him a chance!”

Dean whipped around. “Why should I? He got Cas killed-”

“He brought him _back_!”

“- and he’s the son of an archangel, of _Lucifer_!” He waved a hand in the air dismissively before he continued, his tone surprisingly calm, “but forget all that. Seriously. Forget that and just think about what he’s doing, think about the conversation you had with him.”

Sam blanched as he realized that Dean had overheard the conversation where Jack had discussed humanity not being grateful enough. 

“He’s already questioning what he does. He’s taking Cas around wherever he goes. I will _not_ let Cas be dragged down with that dick. I won’t.”

Sam took a deep breath and lowered his gaze to study the spaces between the small tiles of the floor.

“How can you not be concerned? And now we’re going to let him stay under the same roof as Claire? No. Uh-uh. Not happening.” he said and waggled his finger in the air. 

“Dean, if you ask Jack to leave you risk losing him, he could go dark side-”

“So, we have to babysit now? Pretend to be some perfect family for his benefit?” Dean asked and gestured widely to the door leading to the hallway.

“Dean, listen to me. You not only risk losing Jack, you risk hurting Cas, and a _lot_ more. Jack isn’t going to hurt Claire. Why would you think that he would?”

“Because it’s _Jack_ , that’s why. The kid only thinks about two things, himself and keeping his promise to Kelly. He’s just- you said it yourself, he's _using_ us.”

“Cas trusts him. I trust Cas, can't you do that? Just trust Cas to know what he's talking about?”

Dean ran his hand across his mouth and shuttered his eyes. “Of course I trust him. But this is…” he sighed and shook his head as though trying to clear his mind. “Jack caused a helluva lot of trouble when he was an unborn baby. Angels and demons alike came out for the occasion, both are _still_ looking for him _and_ Cas. He can act on his thoughts now, not like before where he had to use Kelly to get where he wanted to be. He used Kelly and Cas to keep him safe until he was born. He keeps talking about how Cas has a purpose to fulfill and I _hate_ how he says it. Now he sticks around here and makes these passive aggressive comments about us. He's using us! He’s using _Cas_. And I refuse to let him get to Claire.”

“He’s staying here because Cas asked him to. He respects Cas’ wishes. Keep that in mind.” Sam sighed and shook his head, running his hand through his hair before he continued. “Why isn’t that good enough for you? We’re supposed to show him the goodness of humanity- not the shady, ‘I’m going to kill you in your sleep’ side.”

Dean opened his mouth to respond but Sam cut him off.

“What about Jesse, huh? You were prepared to take him in and protect him-”

“Jesse was a kid who didn’t know any better, who was just tryin’a survive!”

“So is Jack!”

“Are you kidding me?!” Dean indicated to the hall again - where Jack had last been seen - with a pointed finger. “That is not a kid, that is a manipulative little punk who uses people up and discards them.”

Sam scrunched up his face and spread his arms out at his sides. “Like who? No one is used up!”

“Kelly is!”

“You didn’t even like her!”

“She kidnapped Cas!”

“I thought Cas was a grown ass man who could take care of himself?!”

“What happened at the sandbox was not his fault!” 

“I’m not saying it was!” 

When Dean spoke again, his voice was lower. “I want him - I want _Jack_ \- out of here, Sam, and that’s final.” Dean growled.

“That’s not up to you.” Sam said just as gruffly, crossing his arms against his chest.

Dean looked at Sam menacingly, his eyes cold and hard and lip curling. “The hell it isn’t.” he said darkly. 

The fuming Winchester then stormed out of the kitchen and through the library where Claire and Cas both stared at him in expectation, Jack sat at the table staring at the wood. Dean avoided all of them and stalked up the stairs to leave the bunker. 

Before he could make it to the door, Claire called out to him. “Where are you going?”

“For a drive!” he shouted angrily and slammed the door behind him, making the blond flinch.

Sam came out from the hall and joined the other three in the library. He noticed the wide eyed looks on Cas and Claire and grimaced as he rubbed the back of his heated neck. “Uh, how much of that did you guys hear?”

Claire moved her shoulders to shrug and Cas stared at Sam but it was Jack’s voice that replied to the question. 

“All of it.”

**O.o.O.o**

Sam made up a room for Claire and helped her settle in. The girl was exhausted and collapsed on the bed, fast asleep in minutes. Jack also retired to his room for the night while Sam and Cas met up in the library.

“Cas, about Dean.” Sam started and ran his hand through the front of his hair to the back.

“Dean’s actions are not your responsibility.” Cas said, holding up a hand.

Sam nodded somberly and sighed heavily through his nose. “I understand where he’s coming from…” he began to admit.

“You do?” Cas implored, desperate to understand.

“Yeah,” Sam half laughed, “I don’t agree with him… but I get it. He cares about you.”

Cas squinted his eyes and parted his lips in unspoken question.

“I… it’s not my place to say.” Sam started but on a whim figured that he’d held his tongue long enough and Dean wasn’t making it any easier. “You know what, no. Cas, Dean is pissed off because he’s worried and because he’s still angry. He still sees recent events as Jack’s fault- almost all of it, even losing Mom and Crowley, but especially when it came to losing you.”

He wanted to tell him about how Dean had mourned him, how he hadn’t eaten or even smiled. But, that wasn’t his place. If it came up between Cas and Dean that would be different. However, what was the point in talking about the painful past if the future could be so much better, if only communication occurred. 

Cas closed his eyes and took a deep breath. 

“He’s afraid he’ll lose you again.” Sam added reluctantly, suddenly realizing how much he overshared about his brother. “Hell, Cas… _I’m_ afraid of losing you. But Dean…?” he finished his last statement with an exaggerated exhale through blown out lips.

Cas looked up at Sam then and his brow lowered heavily over his eyes. 

“C’mere…” Sam said and held his arms out slightly. Cas obliged and stepped closer to Sam at the same time the Winchester did. Before he realized it he was enveloped in the taller man’s long arms. It was a tight embrace that surprised Cas at first but, unlike the last time they’d shared a moment like this in the bunker, he remembered to return the hug. 

When they pulled away, though Cas had a small smile on his face, his eyes were tight around the edges in slight confusion and chin slightly raised to regard Sam. “What was that for?”

Sam smiled fondly and patted Cas’ shoulder twice in an affectionate clap as he put distance between them once again. “I’m just glad to have you back. Sometimes… I take advantage of people always being around- I forget to appreciate them. I appreciate you Cas, for who you are. Just- you’re family and I love ya.” he finished with a curt nod, one of finality. 

Cas smiled again, this time shy and with his jaw ticked slightly to the side as he bowed his head. “Thank you, Sam. I- I feel the same way.”

Sam bobbed his head and smirked. “I know you do, man. Now, uh, go bring Dean back before he does something stupid, huh? I’ve called him, like, five times and it just goes to voicemail.”

With a single flap of his wings, Cas was gone. 

Sam pinched his eyes closed against the wind, papers flying off the desk and the pages of The Book fluttered- releasing an envelope that had been tucked inside the back few pages. Having opened his eyes in time to see the envelope, Sam rushed over to it and opened the letter inside- his eyes going wide.

**O.o.O.o**

The impala roared as she sped down the empty highway that ran past the bunker. Dean was focused on the road, his hands gripping the steering wheel so tightly his hands were burning.

Cas manifested beside him in the passenger side. “Hello, Dean.”

Dean nearly swerved off the road. “Dammit, Cas!” he shouted, increasing his already rapid heartbeat. “Dammit.” he muttered under his breath again after a moment of silence and blood started to creep back into his face.

“We need to talk.” Cas said finally, having patiently waited until Dean had regained his composure and control of Baby.

Dean rolled his eyes but grimaced and took a deep, calming breath. “How much?”

“How much… did I hear?” Cas guessed.

Dean nodded.

“Uh, all of it?”

“Dammit.”

“Dean-”

“I’m not going to apologize for anything I said in there, Cas. So… save it.”

“I’m not asking you to.” 

Dean looked away from the road to look at Cas, surprise written all over his face.

“ _I_ wanted to apologize.”

“For what?” Dean scoffed, laughed harshly through his nose with a sharp exhale, and turned to look back at the road.

“I didn’t consult you on how you wanted to handle Jack, or if he should stay.”

“Oh, c’mon…” Dean’s face contorted in slight annoyance and disgust but whether it was at Cas or at himself neither man could be sure, perhaps a mix of both. “Cas, jesus, man. When I came to get you in Rome I extended that invitation to Jack; I did and I meant it, seriously. I just, I thought I could move past it, ya know? He brought you back, I thought that would be good enough for me. But whenever I see him I can’t-” Dean felt the rage build up in him again. “-I can’t help it. I just want to punch him in his... stupid face.” 

Cas sighed and looked out to watch the road with Dean.

“I’m sorry.” Dean said quietly, shaking his head. He knew that Jack was important to Cas, that they shared a bond that Dean could never truly understand. But knowing and accepting were two different things. “I know that he’s important to you, that you care about him. I just can’t keep pretending that my skin doesn’t crawl whenever he’s around.”

Still, Cas was silent.

“You know what? You’re the wrong person to tell this to. I’m not trying to make you-” he remembered what Sam had said “-I’m not trying to hurt you or make you choose between him and… here.” he almost said _me_. “I want you to stay, Cas. That’s all I want. And, if I have to put up with Jack to keep you around, I will. I got carried away back there and I’m sorry.” he huffed.

“Dean,” he faltered and nearly choked on his own voice when Dean looked back over to Cas and stole the air straight from the angel with one look; one, soul-bearing, desperate, _pining_ look. 

“I asked you to leave once, Cas, but I never should have let you walk out that door. _Never_. And I’m- I’ll be _damned_ if I let you do it again.”

 

Cas was reminded of the one time that he could remember Dean explicitly telling him to leave, that he _couldn’t_ stay. It had hurt, more than he could ever lead on but when all was revealed he understood. He’d forgiven, but Dean clearly hadn’t forgiven himself. 

But if all of Dean’s asks for him to stay in the last week and a half were any indication, he was true to his words- he would not let Cas walk out again.

“I’m not going to leave, Dean.” Cas finally managed to say. 

Dean swallowed thickly but his adam’s apple seemed to choke halfway down and Cas could practically see the emotional lump in Dean’s throat. It hurt him to witness.

“And Jack?” Dean’s voice was gruff and deeper than Cas could recall it ever being. It reminded him of the time he had tried to return the mixtape Dean had made for him- _where was that?_ A bolt of panic flashed through him as he tried to remember when he last had it. Did he lose it?

His eyes went wide and breathing hitched at the idea. Dean took it as a response to his question rather than Cas’ own mental derailment.

“Look,” Dean stumbled, taking Cas’ panic to fuel his own misguided fear, “I get that he’s, like, your kid or whatever. So, I’ll- I’ll try harder to…”

Cas, realizing what happened, shook his head adamantly and rose a placating hand. “No, I-”

“No, Sam’s right, I should have more faith than I do.” he said genuinely and turned off the road, turning them around pre-emptively.

Cas’ mouth snapped shut at the word ‘faith’. He couldn’t remember a single time the word had left Dean’s mouth without it being sarcastic or bitter. 

“I trust you, so, I trust your judgement. If you believe in the little-” he wanted to say; _bastard_ , but stopped in time. Dean’s lip curled slightly but he swallowed the bitterness with a puckered expression and forced the next two words out like they physically pained him, “ _half-angel_ … then, so do I.”

“I don’t want to add to your distress…”

“I said it’s _going_ to be _fine_.” he gritted out. Then realizing how ‘not fine’ that sounded, he sighed and looked over at Cas. “Really, it’s fine. I, uh, I support you.” Dean said much softer than before.

Cas’ smile was wide enough to crinkle the corners of his eyes and he ticked his jaw slightly to the right. “Thank you, Dean.”

Dean smirked and, for the first time since getting in the car, he relaxed his hands around the steering wheel. He wasn’t there like he should have been for Cas before, he didn’t support him enough and didn’t tell him how important he was, but he would not let that stand anymore. So he’d put up with Jack if it meant proving what he said in Rome and at the mansion last week.

**O.o.O.o**

“It’s a summoning spell, for Rowena.” Sam explained to the group how he’d found the letter in The Book and what it said.

Dean and Cas sat beside one another on one side of the table while facing Sam, who stood between the ends of the two tables. Jack was sitting opposite of where Sam stood but was staring at the initials in the table again, this time at the added letters: ‘CAS’. Claire sat across from Dean with her chin resting in the palm of her hand.

“And, Rowena iiiiiiis… a demon?” Claire asked.

Sam opened his mouth to respond but Dean beat him to it.

“She may as well have been… but no. She was the King of Hell’s mom.” 

“You know the _King_ of _Hell_?” Claire asked dubiously. 

Dean shifted uncomfortably and Sam lowered his gaze to the table. Cas looked between the Winchester’s with a hint of surprise but mostly his own sense of loss reflected across his features. 

“Yeah, uh,” Sam cleared his throat, then looked up suddenly his expression harder, determined, “we did.”

Claire understood the past tense and nodded slightly into her palm, leave it to the Winchester's to be on a first name basis with the King of Hell. “And, this ‘King of Hell’ had a _mom_?”

“Yes,” Sam said hurriedly, “but she was also a very powerful witch and the only person who could read this book.” he finished, brandishing The Book of the Damned. 

She rose her brows. “The only one, huh? Impressive. Too bad she's dead.”

Dean snorted and Sam cast him a glare, the older Winchester seemed to buckle but did so with a dismissive shrug when Cas turned to look at him. “Too soon?”

Everyone shook their head at Dean before continuing the conversation.

“That's the thing, this is a summoning spell to bring her, well, her spirit back.” Sam said and opened the paper to read it again.

“Who wrote the letter?” Cas asked. 

Sam looked to him before responding. “She did but she says that Crowley was the one that handled the hiding places of both The Book and the Amulet her soul is trapped in. It was her backup plan to her backup plan.” 

Claire held up a hand like she was in a classroom. “What was the first backup plan?” 

“Some sort of spell that could bring her back from the dead should her body not be damaged beyond repair.” Cas said. 

“Which happened when Lucifer found her.” Dean added and looked at Cas who looked to be just learning of all of this, particularly about Rowena’s death. “So,” Dean outstretched an open palm, his elbow resting on the surface of the table. “where's the amulet?”

“I told you, Rowena wrote it and Crowley knew the hiding place.” Sam said incredulously.

Dean looked at Cas then at Claire and even turned to look at Jack before scoffing as he addressed the group, “I'm sorry, did anyone else hear an answer to: _where we can find the amulet_?”

“I'm saying,” Sam started, with a hint of annoyance, and tossed the multi-paged letter onto the table, “that we don't have a location. Crowley gave us a message about the book but not anything on any kind of amulet. So, unless I'm missing something from this letter or you guys missed something at the mansion, we still have nothing.” 

Dean and Cas shared a look.

“Well, that's fan-friggin-tastic.” Dean muttered and leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms.

“And, what, we seriously can’t summon her _without_ the amulet?” Claire asked.

Sam shook his head but Dean spoke; “Her soul is tied to it so instead of going into The Veil or Hell, which is where she was supposed to go, she’s, apparently, _inside_ the amulet. And if we do the summoning without the amulet she’ll still manifest but will be trapped wherever the amulet is and we still won’t be able to talk to her.”

Claire sat up more and pivoted in her chair to face Dean and Cas rather than Sam. “So, where would the King of Hell hide something like that?”

Dean threw his hands up over the table, just enough to show that he had no idea. 

“Knowing Crowley,” Cas started, his voice gruff, “and his relationship with his mother, I would assume a trashcan.” 

Dean chucked and Sam leaned back against the table behind him, sitting on the edge slightly. Silence befell the room as the boys considered all the options and what to do next. 

“Guys,” Claire said suddenly, startling both Dean and Sam slightly, “are we just gunna sit here?” she asked and held her right hand out, palm facing up.

“Well, excuse me, Claire, do you have a plan?” Dean asked snarkily.

“Maybe I would if you’d explain why you need her to read the book in the first place!” Claire snipped back, cocking her head to the side with pursed lips and an arched eyebrow; it was very Jody-esqu.

“They want to close the gates of Hell.” Jack grumbled. 

Dean turned to glare at him, his eyes snapping to his right so fast the green seemed to disappear for a moment. “And you think that’s a bad idea? Or you don’t think we can do it?” Dean snapped.

“Dean.” both Sam and Cas said quietly.

 _Jackass_. Dean thought to himself and fell back into his chair, kicking his legs up on the table and crossing his arms against his chest. 

“I heard that.” Jack said.

“Good.” Dean huffed.

Cas closed his eyes slowly and when he reopened them he was staring at the ceiling, silently praying for patience to be granted to him. 

Sam rolled his eyes and looked at Claire. “Like Jack said,” he indicated to the young man sitting adjacent to her on her left, “we’re trying to close the gates of hell, and The Book is how we can do that without going demon door to demon door trying to find a sympathetic demon who would help.”

“Oh.” she said simply and mirrored Dean’s slumped back and crossed arms position. “Yeah, I got nothin’.”

“I can find it.” Jack said suddenly after the room had fallen silent again. Everyone turned to look at him except Dean who side-eyed him. 

“You can?” Sam asked. 

Jack glanced at Cas then back and Sam. “Yes. You said it’s an amulet with a soul inside it. It can’t be hard to find something so… rare.” 

Dean exhaled sharply and rolled his eyes.

“Give me a moment.” Jack said and disappeared.

Claire seemed surprised but when no one else reacted - except Dean, who made a ‘pffft’ sound with a sharp exhale - she acted as though it was completely normal. 

“He means since it’s so rare it should give off a unique-” Cas started.

“I know what he means, Cas.” Dean interrupted but with a surprisingly gentle tone.

“I found it but cannot access it.” Jack said, back in his chair like he’d never left. 

Again, Claire was shocked but everyone else looked at him as though he truly hadn’t left. Claire was a hunter but one that was familiar with werewolves, vampires, ghosts, and the like- not angels. 

In a very Castiel-like manner, Jack then looked down, his head bowed, then back up under a heavy brow to look at Dean. “I need your blood, to access it.” 

“Aw, mother of-” Dean rolled his eyes exaggeratedly and dropped his feet from the table, his boots slamming heavily on the floor with a loud thud. 

Cas looked to Dean with a look of sympathy but also of desperation that Dean not make things worse but the person he trusted to not make it worse did.

“Hey, it could be a great bonding experience for you two.” Sam said with a knowing, serious look. 

Dean snarled and glared at Sam but his brother simply tilted his head and smirked. He pursed his lips and jutted his jaw out, glaring at the ceiling. “Fine, let’s go, _Jack_.” he still put emphasis on the nephilim's name, trying to sound amiable. 

Again, in a blink of an eye, Jack vanished but this time with Dean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will they manage to bring Rowena back? If they do, will she help them close Hell? 
> 
> Claire's sticking around for the next 'Episode'.


	10. 13x09 Part ONE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No more "episode skips". This has blossomed into something insanely in-depth and requires every episode (likely split into at least 2 parts at times) and will likely end up being up to 25 chapters (if my estimations are correct). Isn't it incredible? When I started it was only supposed to be 5 chapters. Quick and simple. Yet, here we are. 
> 
> *phew!*
> 
> Anyway, here's 13x09. Please, enjoy.

** 13x09 **

“Okay, since they’re gone, Can we acknowledge the elephant in the room?” Claire said and sat forward in her seat rapidly. “I mean, what the hell?”

Jack and Dean had just vanished in order to open the blood sigil that, supposedly, hid the Amulet containing Rowena’s soul. And the tension was growing too much between Dean and Jack for it not to be addressed by those closest to them.

Cas sighed. “Dean doesn’t like Jack and Jack doesn’t trust Dean.”

“I figured that much out. Why?”

Cas looked like he was going to be sick. “Uh, Dean blames Jack for… a lot of bad things that happened and Jack is under the impression that Dean wants to, uhm, kill him.”

“And?”

Cas stared at her blankly.

“And… can we trust Jack?” she asked, her eyes wide. She didn’t need to question Dean’s motives or what that could result in. Instead, she needed to know more about Jack. She trusted Dean and his instincts implicitly. 

Sam looked to Cas in expectation and eventually Cas nodded. “Yes.” 

“So, what’s the problem?”

Sam intervened when Cas drew a blank. “It’s kinda a domestic… thing.” Sam said and raised his eyebrows.

Cas squinted, unsure of the implication.

After a moment and with a wide eyed look, Claire caught Sam’s drift. “Oh, like,” Sam nodded. “Oooh…” she drawled and smirked.

“Yeah, that but with two men who are incapable of adult communication.” Sam said, referring to Dean and Jack.

Claire grimaced and looked at Cas with sympathy but the angel was more confused by the side bar that the other two seemed to have in order to come to a conclusion he was unsure of. 

“Yeah, well how about a _warning_ next time so I don’t fall into the _goddamn river_?!” Dean screamed, causing all three to jump violently. He was drenched, dripping water from everywhere. He glanced around briefly, as though surprised they were in the bunker but that didn’t deter him from continuing his rant at Jack. “I mean for fuckssake!”

“I thought you had better balance.” Jack responded in a condescending tone.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” he started, not ‘sorry’ at all, “you dropped us on a sore excuse for a bridge and then told me to ‘watch out’ before- -- you know what, fuck this.” he shouted and threw his hands up in the air and stomped away, his boots squelching with each step and clothes dripping water, leaving a wet trail behind him.

“Uh, Jack?” Sam asked with raised eyebrows and wide eyes. 

“Yes, Sam.” Jack said a little too quickly and harsher than anyone expected from the young man. 

“What… happened?” he asked and indicated to the hall, that Dean had not so quietly disappeared down, with his thumb. 

“He fell off the bridge I transported us onto.” 

“A bridge…?” Claire asked.

Jack canted his head from side to side before shrugging. “Well, in the words of Dean Winchester, ‘that was not a bridge it was termites holding hands’ but he is exaggerating.”

Cas and Sam shared a look before Jack held up a gold chain necklace with a large emerald, enclosed in an intricate gold casing, hanging at the bottom. The jewel glowed as an essence swirled just under the surface, giving it an unnatural but alluring appearance.

Claire gasped and looked at it with bright eyes, leaning forward to touch it but Jack pulled it back possessively. 

“Is that it?” Sam asked and indicated to it.

“I believe it is, yes. It was found in an olde Scotland castle’s courtyard.”

“That sounds correct.” Cas said and stood, taking it from Jack who gave it willingly. He turned back to Sam and handed it to him gently. 

Sam took a deep breath and released it slowly through his nose. “Let’s get started.”

**O.o.O.o**

Dean stood beside Sam, prepared to help with the spell, in new clothes but his hair was flat on his head; having not bothered to spike it after his dip in the river, it was brushed to the side and parted from the left side of his head.

“You okay?” Sam asked in a hushed tone while Cas talked with Jack, Claire was standing back- unsure how she felt about summoning a powerful witch’s spirit.

Dean shook his head once but sighed and rubbed his eye with the tips of his fingers. “I’m fine. I just don’t like surprises.”

Sam nodded and patted his brother’s back. “Alright, you ready then?”

“Yeah.”

As Sam read the incantation, Dean introduced the ingredients into the prepared bowl in perfect sync with his brother. 

_tú a bhí ina gcónaí inné_  
_pléifear mé glaoch ort ó mo intinn go mise_  
_tar ar ais ó na scáileanna agus isteach sa solas_  
_agus a thaispeáint duit féin anseo_

Dean threw the last of the ingredients into the steel bowl and leaned back at the same time Sam did when it smoke and a small amount of blue flame burst forth and upwards from the enchanted bowl. The smell was abhorrent and both brothers waved at the smoke, making disgusted faces. Claire held the back of her hand to her nose while Cas and Jack turned to look around the room in expectation. 

When no one appeared in the first ten seconds, Claire posed the question on everyone’s mind; “So, did it work?”

Sam glanced down at the medallion and frowned. It no longer glowed and the swirl of soul essence was absent. “Dammit.” he muttered and held it up to Dean who glowered at it.

“What?” Claire asked from around her hand, still holding it against her face against the smell of death and sulphur. 

“She’s gone.” Dean grumbled snatched the emerald from Sam and weighed it in his hand as though preparing to chuck it across the room. 

“Gone where?” she asked.

Dean finally set the necklace down and ran both his hands down the front of his face. “Who the hell knows.”

“Osch.” a voice said from within the room, it seemed to echo off every surface of the room although not unpleasantly. Rowena’s silky, husky voice lilted as she continued unseen. “Patience, boys, a lady is never late.”

Suddenly she appeared directly in front of the table the brothers had used to perform the summoning. She was dressed in a long, ivy green, gown and her fiery red hair cascaded around her shoulders, bouncing with each head movement. With a wry smile on her face, she tilted her head and smiled. 

“And, it takes time to manifest after so long in such a cramped space,” she said and looked between the two of them but her smile never faltered, “it took you boys long enough.” When Rowena finished lightly scolding them, she glanced around the room. “Ah, Castiel, looking handsome as ever,” she greeted then glanced at the two new faces, Jack and Claire, “and who might these lovely creatures be?”

Castiel dipped his head as he indicated to Jack, “this is Jack, the nephilim.”

Rowena’s eyes bulged out her head momentarily. “Lucifer’s son?”

“Yes.”

“What happened to kil--”

“And this is Claire!” Sam interrupted Rowena and gestured to the blond who was still standing in the corner, a curious but guarded expression on her face.

“Hello, child.” Rowena smiled winningly and Claire couldn’t help the small smile she offered in return.

Rowena spun around the room with a royal air about her and then faced Dean and Sam with an arched brow and a sideways smile. “And where’s my moronic son who made me wait so long?”

“Dead.” Dean said gruffly, his voice lower than usual.

She blinked once then twice. “Dead?”

“We’re sorry.” Sam muttered.

In a moment, her initial shock and look of loss was reeled in and replaced with a sultry look. “Why?” She swallowed visibly. “He probably did something idiotic.”

Sam shook his head and took a step around the edge of the table to confront her. “No, he died locking Lucifer in another dimension. He died a-ah… he died a hero.” he purposely left out the fact that Lucifer could leave at any time and probably already had.

Again, all she could do was blink. “So,” she said and swallowed thickly, “even when he loses he wins.”

Dean smirked a bit. 

Losing Crowley offered everyone in the room an odd mix of feelings. No one could admit to loving the King of Hell, he was an asshole after all; one who had, on multiple occasions, caused more headache and trouble than he might of been worth. But when it came down to it, no one could bring themselves to kill him which said a lot. Still, they were a team and when it mattered, Crowley was there for the Winchesters and in return, they helped him where they could. 

It was an odd arrangement but it worked. And in this life, that was all that mattered.

Now he was gone. 

Dean felt especially bitter about losing the ‘demon next door’ but couldn’t bring himself to show anything more than slight remorse when he was mentioned.

“Well then,” Rowena hefted a heavy sigh and offered another smile, “down to business.”

“Oh yeah, the book.” Sam went to grab it but she held up a finger and tsked.

“Ah-ah-ah, not so fast.”

Dean looked at her blankly while Sam looked at her with raised eyebrows and slightly parted lips. “What, you don’t want it?” the older brother asked incredulously. 

“Oh no, Dear, I want it. But little I can do with it in my condition, now is there? Imma need a body… _my_ body.” she added the last part with a slight tilt of the head and a coy smile.

The boys sighed and Dean frowned slightly. 

“Osch,” she waved a hand at them and started to walk away. “Don’t you two worry about hurting my feelings about what happened, I know fully well all that happened to me in my last moments. But as I see it, we have two celestial beings here that can do something about it… do we not?” she asked and looked to Cas and Jack. 

When neither said anything, she smiled sarcastically sweet. 

“Let me put it this way, if I don’t have my body, I won’t help.”

“I don’t think you’re in the position to be making demands, Witch.” Jack said and Dean made a sound of discontentment, the dimples in his cheeks a testament to that.

“Hey, watch it.” Dean said and pointed angrily at Jack. 

“Her soul is… wrong. She is not good.”

Rowena pouted her lip and worried her brow, offering up her best puppy face to Jack but it went almost unnoticed as Dean squared off to Jack. 

“Ah, Dean-” Sam started but was ignored.

“Listen here, you brat. You’re supposed to be in diapers still, you don’t really have all the power you think you have… when it comes to making decisions.” He added the last part after considering the amount of supernatural power Jack possessed. “You haven’t proven yourself to have a voice in this family so why don’t you just shut it down before I do it for you!”

Rowena looked to Dean with pure appreciation, her expression sincere and thoughtful. Whether Dean was truly defending her honor or not, it had been some time since someone had actually stood behind her on something.

“Dean, that’s enough.” Cas said, his voice low as he glared at Dean. 

Dean’s hard expression cracked at Cas’ look of disappointment but didn’t fall. “We’re getting Rowena her body. That’s final.”

Jack also ignored Cas’ look of warning by continuing, “She’s evil.” 

“Yeah, well, I was a demon, Sammy is part demon, and Cas was a vengeful god for a time. The only person in this room who is pure is Claire. The rest of us, including you, aren't even close. So, unless you plan on smiting everyone just because they have a spotty past, why don't you just shut the fuck up.” Dean barked, using his hands to better emphasize where his tone of voice couldn’t.

“Dean!” 

Jack narrowed his eyes in a very Cas like manner and it was the final straw for Dean. “Fuckin’...” he muttered and shook his head angrily, jackass. 

The room was silent after his outburst and when no other protests arose, Dean confirmed everyone was on board to go get Rowena’s body and reanimate her.

“Okay, Rowena.” Dean said and nodded at her.

“Yes, Dear.”

“Where were you when…”

“Boston. I had been staying at a hotel in Boston. Honeymoon suit,” she finished with a wink.

“Okay, so we can go in the guise of,” he made a sour face as he looked to Sam, “what, hotel representatives?”

Sam shook his head slightly, “Yeah but that was over a month ago now…” he counted in his head the weeks that had gone by, three without Cas and one and a half with Cas. That sounded right, just about a month and a half since Lucifer had killed Rowena. “That would be a bit suspicious going in to investigate that long after.”

Dean sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Then, what?” 

“FBI looking into cold cases?” Sam tried offhandedly. 

“Do they even do that?” 

Cas took a few steps around the table, catching the everyone's attention. “What about family?”

They discussed it back and forth for a moment before coming to a decided plan. 

“We’re topside in twenty.” Dean announced gruffly and started to walk around the table, “Everyone grab what you need and we’ll go.”

Rowena rose her hand slightly and bounced on her toes to pull attention to herself. “Oh, don’t forget to pack me!” she said and pointed a finger at the emerald sitting on the table.

**O.o.O.o**

Dean was buttoning the last few on his white, collared shirt when there was a knock at his bedroom door. “Yeah?”

“It’s me,” Cas said through the door.

He finished the last one and then popped the collar up so that the edges brushed up against his earlobes and tried to hide his sigh when he spoke, “come in.”

Cas opened the door slowly, poking his head in first before the rest of his body. Dean glanced at Cas, who was already dressed in a new suit and tie that Dean recognized as one of the many outfits they had bought for Cas together…

*******

**“You're still gonna go out on cases, Cas, you need a good suit if you’re gonna pass as a top notch agent.” Dean had said, looking at Cas in the mirror they both stood in front of.**

**“Not third tier…?” Cas said with an amount of sass that Dean rarely saw and it had made him laugh heartily.**

**“I said I was sorry about that! You never apologized to me for calling me a lumberjack.”**

**Cas smiled and tilted his head, his eyes shuttered slightly in a silent apology.**

**“Anyway, forget about being an agent, you need a suit that accents all those muscles of yours.” he motioned at Cas in the mirror to turn around, “c’mere.”**

**He turned them so that they faced one another, their shoulders pointed at the three sided mirror beside them. He straightened the jacket and pulled the shirt so that it had less wrinkles.**

**“But, I have a suit,” Cas grumbled, “and a tie.”**

**“Cas, just trust me, kay? Plus,” he smirked at his handiwork and at Cas’ grump then forced him to face the mirror again, “- this tie brings out your eyes.” He winked at him through their reflection, his arm draped over Cas’ shoulders.**

**Cas looked at himself and then at Dean in the mirror and smiled. “It does fit better,” he admitted.**

**The store clerk came around the corner at stared at them briefly, at the looks they were giving each other in the mirror and Dean’s sideways embrace of Cas.**

**“Then it's settled, we're getting the suit.”**

**Cas regarded himself carefully in the mirror, a midnight black suit with gray pinstripes contrasted sharply with the starch white of his dress shirt and accented with an ocean blue tie that did indeed match his eyes perfectly.**

**Far from it was his true form but he'd come to identify with this body, it was his body and he took great care in making sure he looked nice. In this outfit that Dean had picked out, he sure as hell did look great.**

**“Thank you, Dean.” he smiled and turned to look at Dean directly and was met with Deans own smile; his tongue pressed against the back of his teeth as he flashed them at him triumphantly.**

**The clerk cleared his throat loudly, afraid if he didn't interrupt he would be intruding on an intimate moment that led to kissing. “Gentlemen, have we decided on the suit?”**

**Dean and Cas both took steps back and nodded.**

*******

When Cas stepped fully into the room, Dean turned his attention back to the mirror to finish getting ready. He slid a tie around his neck and started the process of knotting it and silently thought how good Cas’ suit still looked on him, not that he'd been worried.

He was still trying to fill his own suit back in, he'd lost more weight than he'd realized in the three weeks he'd gone without eating after Cas died. It was a bit baggier around his shoulders and he tightened his belt one notch further than usual. 

“Dean…”

“If this is about Jack, save it.”

“I’m not convinced that you’re trying very hard with him.”

 _He’s fucking alive, isn’t he?_ Dean wanted to say but settled for a deep grumble and a dejected sigh.

“I appreciate that you haven’t thrown him out but, Dean, it seems like you’re intentionally trying to... ‘piss him off’.” The words were strange coming from Cas and if Dean wasn't so defensive about it, he might have chuckled.

Dean whipped around to face Cas, his tie only halfway done up and knotted. “ _Me_ trying to intentionally- that’s rich. He’s the one trying to leave Rowena as a ghost. And then calling her fucking evil right in front of her face? Before you say anything, she's far from a saint but… dammit, if she wasn't there when we needed her. He has no idea who she is.”

“And that's something Jack is learning, Dean. How long did it take you- how long did it take _me_ to learn that this world is nothing more than gray areas? And _we_ can teach him that, help him to see that _now_ rather than later. I promised to raise him right… but _I_ learned from _you_ more than anyone else.” he took a deep breath before continuing, “You changed me, after millions of years of existence.”

“From what I hear, you were always trying to be more. Heaven just wouldn't let ya…”

Cas smiled sadly at that but continued, “Help me keep Jack from making our mistakes.”

That should have ended it right there. Dean wanted to let it go _right then_. But he couldn't. Of course he would stand beside Cas but he had other concerns.

Cas walked up to him, put his hand on Dean’s left shoulder and slowly pivoted Dean to face him. “Dean?” 

“Cas, in my head, I think about saying something neutral but when I go talk to him it comes out- it’s just a jumble of words I didn’t even know I wanted to say.”

When Cas smiled, it was a crooked and amused one. “Like the diapers?”

Dean smirked but it was slightly forced. “Yeah, like the diapers. I just-”

Only hesitating briefly, Cas reached up to Dean’s tie, finished the knot and slowly pushed it up to snuggly fit in place at Dean’s neck. As he did this he spoke; 

“Dean, I know what it’s like to be around someone you don’t trust and can’t stand a single word that comes out of their mouth but be forced to be complacent. Uriel, Lucifer, and Crowley come to mind.” he said with a smirk that earned a chuckle from Dean. “I do understand.” he stopped to pull the collar of Dean’s shirt down, his fingers moving gracefully under the material of the shirt and brushing against Dean’s skin.

Dean hung on every word, staring at Cas’ lips in order not to react when Cas’ fingers brushed against his neck, giving him goosebumps and sending a warm sensation straight through him at the feeling of Cas on his skin. His tongue felt heavier in his mouth and suddenly he was parched but he didn’t pull away- not that he wanted to.

Cas looked to Dean briefly and a look of recognition and understanding passed through Cas’ eyes, sensing Dean’s rush of different emotions and witnessing them reflect in his eyes. He focused back on his task and what he was saying, trying not to let his own flood of emotions affect him- having a soul greatly impeded his ability to focus; not that he was complaining. 

“I also know that you _are_ trying,” Cas continued, “I just need you to be patient.” He smirked and grabbed at Dean’s suit jacket, which was lying at the foot of the bed, to hold it out to him. “I know that’s asking a lot but I have to.”

Dean found enough braincells to use in the effort of taking his jacket from Cas. 

“You sayin’ I’m impatient, Cas?” Dean asked huskily. 

“I’m saying you have many virtues that make you the man you are. However, patience is not one of them.” he replied with a gleam in his eyes and a smirk playing at his lips.

Dean huffed but not distastefully, he too had a smile curving his lips. He leaned forward slightly as he spread his coat out behind his back in order to put his arms through. Cas didn’t step back when Dean leaned close and instead held his gaze, his eyes flicking up to Dean’s flat hair then to Dean’s lips. 

Once Dean had shrugged on his jacket, he stood in front of Cas his eyes darting across his face. “Okay, I’ll try harder.”

“I know I’m asking a lot of you-”

“Nothing more than I’ve asked of you,” Dean said harshly but not towards Cas, “you’ve given everything, man. Least I can do is humor your… nephew.”

Cas blinked and then smirked. 

“I’ll do it for you.” 

Cas smiled and turned with Dean as the Winchester slung his arm around his shoulders to guide them out of the bedroom. They walked that way down the hall until they were about to step into the library where then Dean removed his arm and ushered Cas to walk out in front of him. 

Everyone else was already waiting and turned to look at Cas and Dean as they walked in together. Unlike Cas and Dean, who had changed into suits, Sam hadn't changed out of his jeans and flannel and Claire hadn't packed anything formal so she too was still in jeans.

Dean glanced over at Cas who looked down at himself as though feeling over dressed. Sam shrugged and smirked before jumping off his perch on the edge if the table. Claire had had her back to them and turned around to face them with a wide smile as she looked between them, “Look at you two, so handsome!”

Rowena also smiled. “Very dapper, boys, but you didn't have to dress up on my account.” she said, placing a hand over her heart. Then she looked to Dean with a tinge of concern before her happy-go-lucky mask fell back into place.

“Yeah, yeah. Alright, is _everyone_ coming?” Dean asked, dimples of discontentment full visible. 

A series of yes’s were accompanied by a single ‘duh’ from Claire. 

“Sam, you get the address for the Chief Medical Examiner?” 

“Yep, right here.” he pulled out his cell where he'd brought it up in his browser, “It's, uh, seven-twenty Alba-”

They all appeared directly in front of the Chief Medical examiner’s office.

“-ny…” Sam finished and looked up at the tall, worn building in front of them. 

Dean took a calming breath, closing his eyes and counted back from ten. “Jack, can you stop doing that without warning?” he asked when he looked over to the nephilim, his voice surprisingly calm and even. “Please.” he added for extra measure.

“My apologies.” Jack muttered and then looked to Claire, whose eyes looked like they may come out of her head. “Are you alright, Claire?” he asked.

She nodded numbly and then blinked once, twice, three times. 

Cas was looking at Dean appreciatively when Rowena suddenly re-appeared into the group and sighed, gaining everyone's attention. 

“Well then, nothing like getting ripped from one dimension to the next and back again while chained to an object to wake you up in the morning.” she said as she glared at Jack.

Sam huffed. “Okay, alright guys, everyone get it together. We’re lucky it's so late at night and there's no traffic,” he said while looking at his watch in which Dean and Claire both mirrored the action. 

“9:26…” Claire muttered. 

“Well,” Dean began when he saw Jack slowly start to list to the side. “whoa- whoa- whoa!” He rushed forward, pushing past Claire, to help Jack re-balance. 

Jack didn't move out of his touch nor react to Dean other than a grateful nod. 

Cas went around the other side of him and out a steady hand on Jack’s shoulder. 

“Are you okay?” Sam asked, his eyebrows pushed up in concern.

“Yes,” Jack responded, “transporting so many people- my grace is weakened. I need rest.” 

Dean nodded with a slight frown and furrowed brows. “Alright, well, this is the time for us to get Rowena’s record. Sam, mind taking Leeloo here,” he indicated to Jack, “to a motel while Cas and I try and chat up the doc?” 

Sam nodded and took Cas’ place at Jack’s side while Dean turned to Claire and held out his hand. “Mind sticking with Sam?” 

Claire nodded. “No problem,” she said simply as she pulled the necklace from her pocket and dropped it into Dean’s waiting palm. 

Dean and Cas then turned to go up the stairs, Rowena hiding herself as they did as Dean pushed the necklace into the inside pocket of his suit jacket. The others watched the two a moment longer before Claire waved down a cab for them to take to find a motel, Sam already searching for them on his phone while Jack crawled into the back seat first.

**O.o.O.o**

Jack was sitting at the table, gazing out the second story window of the motel room. As the cars passed by, their headlights illuminated his face with each passing. The TV was off but Claire had music playing through her phone, a gentle song that created a mellow environment. Her phone, illuminated briefly beside her leg - where she was cross legged on the bed sitting beside Sam who had the laptop in front of both of them - a small square of text that blocked the full view of the album cover art of “ _Still_ ” by Daughter.

“They’re leaving now, pizza or burgers?”

“Pizza,” Sam said without looking away from the screen, his fingers typing furiously at the keyboard.

Claire texted Cas back and then refocused on their shared project. They shared the full-sized mattress with plenty of room for both to be sitting cross-legged as they worked.

“So, this is how hunters will know if there is a case in their area?” she asked, indicating to the screen.

Sam nodded and stopped typing and released a deep breath before pushing his hair back. “Yeah, it’s like a shared database. I’ll be the moderator, potential cases will come into my inbox and notify me and then I’ll decide if they really worth our time. If they are, I’ll put them into the database for everyone to see- anyone linked in will get a notification on their phone.”

“You gonna make an app for it, that’d be cool.”

He shrugged and let out a breathy laugh. “Uh, maybe, if I can figure it out. It would have to be a program that gets installed from the database though, I don’t think it’d be a good idea for this to be out in the world for everyone to see.”

She leaned back on the bed, stretching her legs out and crossing them at her ankles. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

“I just wish I could get some of the old case files that the Brits used. They had a lot of fucked up shit but I feel like I could use a lot of their algorithms to better predict monster behavior.” Sam sighed and shoved the laptop back further so he could join Claire in relaxing against the pillows.

“Have you tried hacking in?”

“I could, I’m just a little worried that if I get caught I could stir shit up. The head honcho's back in England made some serious threats before we finished them off here in America but nothing’s come of it… yet. Just in case we’re actually left alone, even after what we did, I don’t want to break into their network and piss them off again.”

Claire pouted her lip. “Well, don’t get caught.”

They laughed together when the door opened. Both Claire and Sam sat back up to see Dean and Cas walk in with pizza boxes, a case of beer, and a liter of soda. 

“Hey, how’d it go?” she asked as she swung her legs over the edge of the mattress and turned her music off as she got to her feet.

Rowena appeared just as Dean closed the door behind Cas with his foot. 

“I’m buried.” the witch said with a smile, as though it was the best news in the world.

Sam’s eyes went wider as he closed the laptop. “Well, that’s lucky.”

Rowena straightened her shoulders and held her head high. “He felt bad that I’d been tortured so badly and then _'burnt to a crisp'_ that he couldn’t bring himself to sign off on a cremation- said I’d burned long enough. So, I’m buried at Central Burying Grounds with my own headstone and everything.”

Dean rolled his eyes as he set down the stack of pizza on the table, Jack leaned back exaggeratedly as though Dean and thrown them at him. “Yeah, under Jane Doe, 2017.”

She faltered at that. “You’re just jealous that out of all your deaths," she put emphasis on the 's', "you were never buried in a proper cemetery.” 

Cas set down the soda and beer then turned to Rowena with a high arched brow and shuttered eyes, an objection waiting on parted lips.

Before the angel could say anything, Dean shot back; “who would want that anyway, having all those people trample you like nothing more than dirt.”

“Osch,” Rowena waved a hand in the air dismissively. 

Sam walked up to the table and opened one of the boxes. “Did you get one with white sauce?”

Cas opened his mouth to respond, a smile on his lips but Dean stepped forward with his hands on his hips.

“Why would I get one with white sauce?!” Dean asked flabbergasted and spread his arms out at his sides.

Sam rolled his eyes. “Because I _like_ it.”

With a dramatic flair, Dean walked up to the table, went to the bottom box and produced a white sauce pizza. “Good thing I know my little brother.”

Cas replaced his smile which had faltered briefly and Sam joined him as he looked at Dean. 

“Are we going to liberate my poor body?” Rowena asked over the noise of laughter and swell of conversation that began.

“Rowena, you’ve been underground for a month. I think you can wait an hour till we’re done eatin’.” Dean said over his shoulder but with sympathy in his expression. “We’re hungry.”

Rowena sighed but nodded. At first it seemed she was going to disappear but she moved to stand closer to the group that now huddled around the table where Jack looked between all the smiling faces. His eyes were wide and taking in every micro expression and listening to every word- like a baby at its first gathering. Everything was loud and colorful, he could practically see the sound waves as they mixed with bright, vibrating aura’s. 

This was humanity with family. It was when humanity was at it’s best- swelling with love and appreciation even as they fought playfully over how many pieces each person got and whether or not Claire should be allowed to drink beer instead of soda.

Claire came up behind all the men with napkins and paper plates from the mini bar and demanded they ‘part like the Red Sea’ which spurred a story from Cas about how it really happened. 

As the plates and napkins were dispersed, Cas continued to explain enthusiastically how angels, hidden from humans, descended into the water and pushed the water themselves. He chuckled about how he remembered a little girl at the end of the line of liberated slaves had stopped every few steps to pick up shells and colorful stones that had been revealed during the parting. 

Two steps, bend and pick one up, stuff it in the small pouch tied into her dress, three steps, pick one up, plop into pouch, repeat.

Raphael, Cas said, had expressed an overwhelming urge to shove the girl along faster so they didn’t have to hold the sea for so long but Gabriel had been the one to defend the girl and demand Raphael to maintain the line. 

Dean looked at Cas affectionately as the angel finished his story with a thoughtful smile on his face. Claire and Sam were sat at the table with Jack while Dean sat on the bed beside Rowena, Cas standing in the center of the room as he held up his hands like he was holding up a wall.

When Cas finished, Claire spoke up; “tell another one,” she asked around a mouthful of pizza.

Cas smiled shyly and bowed his head. “I’m really not articulate when it comes to storytelling, some of the other angels are much better.”

Dean stopped mid-bite of his folded pizza at Cas’ response. ‘Other angels’ not ‘brothers and sisters’. He stared at Cas, unnoticed by the rest of the group.

“Well, Feathers,” Rowena smiled and leaned back on the bed - though it didn’t move like it did when Dean shifted - “I certainly enjoyed it. You’re quite the storyteller.”

Again, Cas smirked slightly and then looked at Dean, who - when caught staring - smiled encouragingly, his eyes lighting with enthusiasm.

Sam took a swig of his beer. “How much of the Bible is wrong, Cas?”

“Most of it. It’s really people thinking that God was working through them when it was really the guidance of angels. God often helped in time of war, like during the Wall of Jericho.” 

“Did you take vessel’s back then?” Claire asked.

“Not personally, no. But often, angels would. Faith was strong then and people often asked to be vessels of God’s Word and Acts. However, we often assisted in our true form, hidden in another plain.”

Dean still read into what Cas said, hearing ‘people’ rather than ‘humans’. 

“True form?” Rowena asked, her head tilted to one side.

Jack tuned out at the mention of angel physiology as he finished the last of his pizza, he’d ate an entire box himself, the rest of the family splitting the white pizza and meatlovers amongst themselves.

“Six wings and four faces,” Dean answered for Cas, “size of the Chrysler Building, right, Cas?”

Cas smiled at Dean, a rare smile they quirked only half of his lips, it was reserved for when Cas was especially glad to be hearing from Dean. “Yes.” he said softly. "A zebra, a lion, monkey, and a cat." 

Dean inhaled softly, his eyes shuttering as he looked at Cas.

Sam looked between Cas and Dean and his lips twitched upwards while Rowena and Claire both had big eyes at the notion of Cas’ true form.

“Wow.” Claire breathed.

“An understatement, Dear.”

Jack had been watching them all this time. Regarding them with fascination, learning all he could about them through their interactions and reading their souls as they all seemed to reach for one another and react to being so close together. 

“Well,” Dean said and stood from the bed, the room of eyes followed him as he discarded his plate and beer bottle, “who’s up for some digging?”

Rowena smiled and stood.

Claire clapped her hands together to brush off flour from the pizza crust, then wiped the grease off the tips of her fingers. “I’m in.”

Sam cleared his throat, downed the rest of his beer, and stood- taking Claire’s dirty plate and napkin. “I’m ready but we don’t have our shovels or anything.”

“Shit.” Dean mumbled. “Alright, side stop then digging.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  
> 
> **  
> **  
> VERY, _VERY_ IMPORTANT  
>   
> 
> 
> I will be going on vacation for a week, this is the last chapter I have written thus far so I squeezed it all into one. Please know: I will not be updating for at least two weeks after this. I apologize for the hiatus.
> 
>  
> 
> **  
> **  
> NOT AS IMPORTANT  
>   
> 
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> ****  
> 
> 
> but...
> 
>  
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> ****PLEASE READ****  
> 
> 
> _Do you know what would be amazing?!_ ... If I came back from vacation to find comments on this chapter about what you think so far. Comments always make me smile but imagine coming home to that!
> 
> Yeah, that would be pretty awesome. Pret-ty. Awesome.


	11. 13x09 Part TWO

Claire stood a few feet away from everyone else as she talked on the phone while Sam and Cas dug into the ground. Dean was resting against a mound of dirt, his suit jacket discarded over the headstone, along with Sam’s flannel and Cas’ jacket. Dirt was caked to the sweat on his face, neck, and forearms; his sleeves rolled halfway up his arms. 

He and Sam had switched at three feet of dirt, while Cas had been there from the beginning; and though he was dirty, there wasn't a drop of sweat on him, his jacket removed and shirt unbuttoned for mobility alone. 

The droning of crickets and other loud insects filled the midnight air, accompanied only by the occasional flapping of bat wings. Fireflies lit up around them but the grave site was illuminated almost entirely by the headlights of their ‘rented’ car, the moon helping where it could between breaks in the clouds.

“Y’know, Claire,” Dean said over his shoulder, “you could help dig at some point!” 

She stuck her tongue out at him and held up a single index finger in a gesture of, ‘hold on’. 

“No, that was just Dean.” Claire continued her conversation, the only voice in the group aside from the occasional grunt from Sam or Cas. “Yeah. No, we’re digging up a witch’s grave. No. No, like, not an evil witch… No. Yeah. Okay. What’s her name? And she’s a hunter? Where- oh, okay. Sure.” She spoke louder, addressing the group of men in front of her, “Jody says hi!”

A series of grunted responses were all anyone could muster. 

“They say hi.” she said with a look of dissatisfaction. “No, really, they did. Yeah, I will. Okay. Goodnight. Tell Alex. Okay, yeah, bye.” She hung up the phone with a tap of her finger.

As she walked back over Jack frowned and looked at her. “Who is Jody?”

“Uhm, she’s my… uh, ‘hunting mom’.” she quirked a brow at her own realization, “she’s really, everyone’s mom. She’s just _a_ mom.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Like, how you have ‘work moms’ or ‘t.v. moms’? They’re not _your mom_ but they are at the same time.”

“That makes no sense.” Jack said with a dismissive air.

She stared at him blankly, a moment passed and she blinked. “Like, a surrogate mother…” When he still didn’t have a reaction, she waved her hand in the air. “Whatever,” she mumbled. 

Claire walked away from Jack to join Dean at the edge of the grave, walking around the light blue sheet they’d stolen from the motel and laid out beside the grave.

“Wha’d Jody say?” Dean asked.

“She’s just checking in; said she met a new hunter.”

“New hunter?” Sam piped from the hole, ceasing his efforts for a time as he leaned against the handle of his shovel. 

“Yeah, some lady.” Claire walked up to the edge if the hole to talk to Sam. “Jody brought her up to speed on the broader details about what you're trying to do.” 

“Good, the more the merrier.” Sam said and went back to digging, needing no further details. Jody was a great judge of character and if she trusted the woman to be in their Hunter’s Association, so did he.

Sam and Cas were nearly at the bottom of the six feet. “Do you want me to take a turn?” she offered.

“Sure-” his next stab at the dirt made a hollow sound and they all froze in expectation, “on second thought, why don’t you just help fill it back in when we’re done.” 

Claire nodded and watched with Dean and Rowena as they all peered into the hole and watched Cas and Sam unearth the casket, scraping loose dirt away. Once the casket was revealed, Sam opened the lid to reveal a contorted, charcoal body inside. Rowena gasped and they all looked at her in sympathy. 

“Alright,” Sam said and looked at Cas then at Dean and Claire, “everyone ready?”

They all nodded. 

Gently, Sam grabbed Rowena’s body’s shoulders while Cas grabbed at her legs, under the knees, and lifted her up to Dean and Claire’s waiting hands.

“This is new too, huh Sammy?” Dean said as he and Claire lowered her onto the prepared sheet beside the grave. “Actually exhuming a body instead of just salting and burning.”

“Careful, careful…” Rowena whispered, directly behind Dean. She held out her hands in a gentle, guiding manner until her body was finally resting on the sheet.

They all huddled around her, Rowena standing at her own head. “I can't believe that dress is disintegrated.” she muttered sadly, disappointed that her last outfit was not so easily repaired as her body and soul appeared to be. The very notion of that was laughable.

Both Dean and Sam chuckled, the latter more humorlessly than the former. 

“Alright,” Rowena started, holding her head high as she looked at Cas then Jack, “boys, can we get started, please?”

Without further prompting, if not with a slight sigh, Cas bent down and held out his index and middle fingers before Claire spoke up;

“Wait!!” she pushed between Sam and Cas to stoop over Rowena’s body. As she began wrapping the full-sized sheet around the fragile body, Rowena smiled appreciatively and nodded at Claire who offered her own, shy smile. “Okay,” Claire said to Cas, “now you can go.”

He nodded curtly and pressed two fingers to Rowena’s body’s forehead. In a grotesque display of bodily repair, Cas’ grace healed Rowena to her former self and it stole the witch’s breath away. 

Her hair was shiny and curly, her face - though lacking makeup - was soft and peaceful. The sheet wrapped around her like a long, strapless, evening dress. 

They all turned to look at Jack in expectation but he just stared at Cas. 

“I don't condone this.” he said simply, not bothering to look at anyone else. 

Dean stepped around Rowena’s feet, his movements stiff as he came to stand in front of Jack. “Kid, we talked about this. This is why we're here.”

“My mission is to remove evil from this plain, not bring it into being.”

He pinched the bridge of his nose and released a heavy, controlled breath. “She is going to help stop a _lot_ of evil. Isn't that what you want?”

“To stop evil, but not with her. There is another way, I'm certain.” 

“Hey, look, normally we'd all agree with you. ‘Finding another way’ is like a secondary life motto. But not this time. This is the only way.”

Claire looked at Rowena, who appeared a fish out of water as she tried to keep the panic down while attempting to come up with a valid argument. The blond frowned and stepped up beside Dean. “You can't back down now, we're so close.”

“Jack,” Sam started, remaining by Rowena and talking over Dean’s shoulder, “Rowena can help. She is part of this team. She wants the same thing that we all want, what we're all working for.”

Jack looked between all of them as they posed their arguments then peered at Cas, who was simply giving his best puppy expression - worried eyebrows, wrinkled forehead, and dipped chin while looked up through heavy lashes - without intending to. 

“Evil-” Jack started but Dean raised a hand.

“In our world, there is no such thing as ‘black and white’, Jack. There just isn't. I used to think it was and a lot of good people died because of it.” he said and one of the first people that came to mind for both Sam and Dean was Amy Pond. Jack read this in their minds and he squinted his eyes in reaction.

“But,” Dean continued, “since then we've learned, we've _all_ learned, and there are amazing people in our lives that we once would have considered monsters. There are others that have been saved because of those people. There are _good_ vampires and werewolves, we know one of each. We recently saved a girl with demon blood in her, like Sam, we gave her a chance when her own family wouldn't.

“People are worth saving, Jack. All of them. You just have to give them a chance. People make mistakes but that doesn't mean they can't learn from them. Give Rowena a chance to prove herself.” Dean finished with a deep breath.

Cas had stopped his puppy face halfway through Dean’s speech and was staring at him in complete adoration but no one noticed. Sam was smiling but trying to hide it due to the seriousness of the situation, he wasn't smiling at Cas’ expression though, it was at his brother- more the back of his head. This was another soul-baring moment for Dean, a rare thing indeed, but it was to Jack of all people. 

Jack stared Dean down, whether reading his mind or peering into his soul, no one could be certain, but Dean didn't back down. 

“Very well.” He peered around Dean, who then moved out of the way. Rowena’s ghost disappeared before she could say anything and within seconds her body jerked to life, her back arching off the ground as she drew her first, strangled breath. 

She shuddered and spasmed a few more moments as Sam knelt beside her, balancing on his toes, and helped her sit up- his hand at her back. Holding the sheet around her chest by pinning it to her breastbone, she looked at all the individual faces that were standing around her. Once her breathing improved, she offered a wavering smile.

They each offered a smile in return, Cas included, but just as Dean opened his mouth to say something, Jack came into her view with a scowl on his face. 

“Thank you,” she said in a raspy voice, so different from her usual tone. 

He narrowed his eyes at her. “I will smite you if I find out you are evil.” 

Dean’s lip curled as he looked from Jack to Rowena’s shocked face and back again. “Did you just fucking threaten her?” he barked.

“You said to give her a chance,” Jack said and indicated to her, “and I have. If she does anything other than what she says she will, I will not hesitate to kill her.” 

“Why you-” Dean turned to grab at him but Sam intervened in time and pulled him back.

“Dean, stop. We have nothing to worry about, okay? She's alive.” he said loudly then added on a hushed tone; “We'll take care of her, we won't let him get to her. Okay?”

Dean nodded once to signal that he was good and Sam released him just as Dean had started to shrug him off. Still, Dean jabbed a pointed finger Jack’s way. “You ever threaten any of these people again and I will-”

“Dean,” Sam started and put a hand on his brother's shoulder but it was immediately shrugged off as he stomped off to the car.

Cas looked to Jack with a guarded expression, his brows furrowed and lips a straight line.

**O.o.O.o**

Everyone, except Cas and Jack, was sat at the front library table, watching Rowena as she studied the pages. She was wearing some of Claire’s clothes; a long sleeved shirt and jeans, her hair pulled to rest over one shoulder.

“I thought you said you had the whole book memorized…” Sam started. His elbows propped up on the table and his chin cupped in his hands, he could barely keep his eyelids from drooping as he tried to maintain eye contact with the witch, who was too busy staring at gibberish to look up.

Claire snorted in her sleep, her forehead resting on her crossed arms on the table and Dean looked over at her from his reclined position in his chair, legs propped up on the edge of the table. 

“Samuel,” Rowena huffed, “I do. And as I do, I already know that there is _no_ spell nor curse about closing the gates of Hell. If Fergus claims that there is it's because he added something somewhere…” 

Sam dropped his head to the table and huffed.

“Forget about it.” Dean said, “Rowena, you just got back from the dead. Sam, set a room up for her… I'm gonna take Claire to her room. We’ll worry about it in the morning.” he finished and stood. 

He walked over to Claire and gently touched her back. She stirred but didn't fully wake up. Dean took her right wrist from under her while guiding her into an upright sitting position. Pulling Claire's arm around his neck, he lifted her from the chair; one arm under her knees while the other supported her shoulders.

Claire nestled into him and rested the side if her head on his shoulder as he carried her to her room. 

When he got to the room she’d been using, he had to hold back the chuckle in order not to jostle her awake. 

The room was a disaster. Clothes were strewn about the room: the floor, desk, and chair; her suitcase was unzipped and exposing its emptiness, her bed wasn’t made, and she had three nights worth of dishes stacked up on the nightstand. Three days the young hunter had stayed with them and it looked like she’d lived there a year. 

It made him smile and he looked down at her as she snored lightly, her face pressed against him.

He lowered her onto the mattress where it was bare, the blanket kicked to the foot of the bed. Claire immediately turned from her back onto her stomach and pushed her hands under the pillow. As Dean pulled the sheet blanket over her, she grumbled something in her sleep and then snorted softly. 

Looking down at her, Dean smiled thoughtfully. The bunker had been called ‘home’ for quite some time now but as the plethora of rooms filled up with familiar faces of those he cared about, especially when the spaces _looked_ like a home… it warmed his heart. This was home, surrounded by those he loved. 

A pang shot through him as he remembered Mary and his smile faltered. Not _everyone_ was here. The realization weighed heavy on him as he realized they weren't any closer to getting her back but he pushed it aside quickly. He wouldn't let this moment, watching Claire sleep peacefully, be ruined by dread. 

When a stray lock of Claire's hair slowly fell into her face, her nose twitched and lips parted slightly. Dean smiled again, leaned over and brushed it out of her face but she still appeared agitated. He stroked her hair back gently before brushing his lips across the top of her head and she settled, a smile gracing her lips briefly. 

He stood back up, glanced at the dishes again and shook his head- he'd talk to her about it tomorrow. With only the light from the hall, he navigated the littered floor to leave and managed to silently close the door. 

As he passed by Sam's room, he peered in and found that his brother had passed out on his bed, boot clad feet hanging off the edge, face down into the pillows. 

_How can he even breathe like that?_ Dean wondered and then quietly stepped into Sam's room. 

Gingerly, he lifted Sam's legs up onto the bed, pushing only slightly in order to guide Sam into scooching further up so he could fit on the mattress. When he was finished he only shook his head at seeing how filthy Sam was and how he would need to clean his sheets in the morning. Just as he was about to leave, Dean glanced down at Sam's muddy boots, sighed, and untied them in order to pull them off. Trying to save the sheets as much as possible.

As he left Sam's room and started down the hall, he could hear shouting coming from Jack's room and he stumbled over his feet as Cas came out and slammed the door behind him.

“Cas?” he asked softly as his best friend seemed to brood in his spot, his back to Jack's door as he stared at the cement wall in front of him.

Cas’ head snapped to his right to look at Dean. “Dean,” he greeted back, his voice deeper than usual- meaning he was distressed. 

“You okay?” he asked as he started to walk up to Cas. 

Cas took a moment before closing his eyes in order to roll them in private, under his eyelids. “He’s stubborn,” he grumbled, “more so than any Winchester or angel put together.” He omitted what the stubbornness had been about and why Cas had been in there lecturing the nephilim in the first place. In a fleeting moment, as he watched Dean approach him, he thought about sharing the conversation; thinking it might bring a smile to Dean’s face or at least a fond look in his eyes but there was the chance that Dean would use it as ammunition against Jack instead. 

He had gone in with the intention of correcting Jack’s attitude against Dean but instead it turned into a philosophical debate about good and evil and then about the ‘spotty pasts’ that Dean had mentioned earlier that day. Then Jack insisted on discussing the ‘gray areas’. Whenever Cas would try to shift it about being less aggravating to Dean, Jack would bat the notion away with his own angry outbursts about Dean’s attitude. He defended Dean, of course, but it was fruitless. If he was honest with himself, he feared for Dean just as Dean feared for Rowena. He trusted Jack to do the right thing and believed in Jack as much as he could but he was still nervous that one day the two explosive men would come to a head and try to destroy one another.

 _Eggshells_ , came to Cas’ mind, he’d heard the expression somewhere and it fit perfectly, _The whole bunker seemed to be walking on eggshells with Jack around_. Cas felt semi responsible but wasn't sure what could be done about it.

Perhaps Dean was right; Jack was doing his best but he was still a danger- at least to some extent. Was he willing to risk his family's well being to keep his promise to Kelly or to prove that he could be right for once?

He could feel the scowl on his face and it only lessened slightly when Dean came up beside him.

Dean smiled at Cas’ frustrated response and finally stopped directly beside Cas, who looked at him with narrowed eyes but not a full squint. “Well, he gets that from his mother, I suppose.”

“Yeah, you're probably right.” Cas said with a sad smile. 

They fell into comfortable silence and shared the quiet moment together, managing not to gaze at one another the _entire_ time before Dean spoke up.

“I'm filthy,” Dean said and glanced down at Cas, who was spotless; still wearing his shirt unbuttoned and sleeves rolled up - his jacket and tie missing. “I'm gonna hit the showers.”

“I could ‘mojo’ it clean for you?” Cas offered and began to reach for Dean's arm.

Dean quickly raised his arm away and shook his head, “No, no, Cas, don't worry about it. I can do it the old fashioned way.”

Cas furrowed his brow and lowered his hand timidly. “I don't mind…”

“I do,” Dean said but when he saw hurt flash in Cas’ eyes, he scrambled for more words; “Not that… I just meant, you don't have to do it because- I just want you to feel like… fuck, I dunno. Just don't feel like that's all you're here for, y’know, cleaning up shit and healing... and... stuff.” At times, during his word vomit, his hands did more moving than his lips as he tripped over his own words.

“Dean,” Cas started but Dean, feeling embarrassed, just shook his head and mumbled that he was going to shower.

Cas watched after him, his face pinched in total confusion.

**O.o.O.o**

Dean scrubbed his head with the towel then used it to wipe the steam from the bathroom mirror.

Going to bed, he left his hair flat again, it was unnecessary to spike his hair with gel just to go to sleep on it. As he left the bathroom, wearing flannel bottoms and a cotton t-shirt only, he thought about Cas’ reaction to refusing being mojo-ed. 

Had he been too abrupt?

His intention was to prove a point. Cas is more than his grace and though it was helpful, he didn't need to waste it on every whim or when he thought Dean or Sam would want it; just being here was enough for them. Having Cas around was enough. All he was trying to do was show him that, give him proof of what he had been saying ever since Cas got back. Was that so difficult? 

God, he needs therapy. 

As he came up to Cas’s room, he walked slower, and when he noticed the door was partially open, he couldn't resist the urge to poke his head in.

Cas was lying on top the covers on the left side if the bed, his legs crossed at his ankles.

When Cas looked up from his book at the sound of Dean's light knock, he smiled. “Better?” he asked and lowered his open book into his lap, giving Dean his undivided attention.

Dean smirked and stood inside the doorway, his body taking up less room than before but still blocked out the light from the hall. Cas hadn’t brought up Dean’s weight loss, he’d already checked to be sure that Dean wasn’t suffering in any way, that he wasn’t sick or dying; he wasn’t. However, his weight loss concerned him but he couldn’t come up with the right time to ask either Winchester. Before he could broach the topic to Dean, the silence was broken.

“Yeah, never get tired of that water pressure.” Dean said.

Cas nodded and smiled. “I remember.” 

Silence filled the space between them again, taunting Cas with the question he was dying to ask and Dean with all the things he'd yet to confess; things that burned so true and bright within him he was surprised it hadn't burst from his chest and shouted it to the world. But how could he? 

If he was honest, he feared the reaction more than rejection itself. Feared the expression Cas would give him and the awkward admittance of not feeling the same way, Cas would feel guilty for making _Dean_ uncomfortable rather than the other way around. That would be worse, much worse. That look of guilty sympathy from Cas would be the end of him, not the rejection.

Dean would rather be one sided, unrequited, than see that face. 

“Dean, are you alright?”

He cleared his throat and shifted his weight from foot to foot. “Huh? Uh, oh, yeah… just… tired.” he rubbed his hand against the back of his neck. “I guess.”

Cas gave him a knowing, disbelieving look and Dean was reminded that Cas can sense emotions. How long could he pull off the ‘I'm tired’ excuse?

“I never asked,” Dean started, still stuck to his spot in the doorway, “what are you reading?” 

Cas sighed but offered a smile, already accepting Dean's need to talk about anything but his feelings. “It’s a compilation of poems by various authors.”

“Is it good? It's all I see you read.”

He nodded. “Very good, this is my second read through.”

Dean chuckled and offered a sideways smirk but couldn't find a response or even a snarky joke to shoot back. Realizing this, his dimples appeared in his cheeks and he diverted his gaze.

“Would… would you like to hear one?” Cas asked, still gazing at Dean.

He swallowed thickly but nodded as he took the first few steps into the bedroom, his bare feet padding against the cement flooring. Cas followed him with his eyes which seemed to light up with delight and it made Dean smile a little as he laid himself beside Cas on his- on the _right side_ of _Cas’_ bed. 

Cas looked at him a moment longer before he lifted the book off his lap and started to read; “You know, it's okay to disconnect, slow down, and keep some memories between you and the moment you shared them with.” 

Riding Larry came to mind and Dean smiled to himself. He looked over at Cas who was watching Dean, waiting for his reaction, his eyes wide and lips a straight line as he regarding him. Dean smiled and nodded.

“And each poem is by a different author? Are they all like that; that short?” he asked and Cas shook his head.

“No, all the poems are different. Some are a few pages long.” 

They were silent for a time before Dean responded, “What's the next one?” 

Cas smiled and turned the page and started to read the following poem, one with twelve stanzas, and Dean listened to Cas’ voice intently. They read through several more and around the fourth poem, Dean closed his eyes and just listened rather than follow along. He was asleep by the eighth, his head slowly dropping to Cas’ shoulder, and he stayed like that the rest of the night; Cas reading aloud until the fourteenth where then he put the book down and looked at Dean, listening to his heavy breathing that told him he was in a blissful sleep- no nightmares tonight.

**O.o.O.o**

_Two Days Later_

“-and I don't want to find any dishes in your room!” Dean shouted as Claire was leaving the kitchen.

He stood over the stove, stirring a large pot. Sam came into the kitchen just as Claire was leaving.

“Smells good,” he said as he came in.

“Hopefully it tastes good too,” Dean replied.

Sam came to stand beside Dean and leaned against the counter. “Where's Claire goin’?”

“Uh, she and Cas are going out on a case.” 

He nodded in a silent response then peered into the pot. “What is it?”

“Stew. Why you actin’ weird?” Dean asked without looking up.

Sam shook his head and leaned back at the same time, as though offended by the very notion. His eyes were wide and brow worried as he looked at Dean incredulously. “I’m not- no, I’m not acting weird.”

“Uh-huh,” Dean said as he picked up his beer from the counter to his right and took a sip. 

He screwed his lips together as he stared at Dean’s profile while he pulled from the bottle. He was dying to ask but wasn’t sure how to. Chewing the inside of his cheek, Sam looked all around the kitchen and then cleared his throat. It felt like it had been minutes of silence but was no more than it took Dean to take a single sip. “Can, uh, can I ask you a question?”

“Sure,” he replied as he shook salt out of the shaker and into the pot.

“You…” he paused and stared at Dean. His pause seemed to draw more attention than just blurting it out because Dean finally turned to look at him. “Uhm, you and Cas…”

Dean’s face fell from one of worry and confusion to blank- a perfect, impassive mask. 

Suddenly, having this conversation wasn’t all that important. Dean and Cas had been doing ‘the dance’ for years. Sam had accepted it and watched on in accepting silence, why should it be any different now? 

_Uh, because Cas was back from the dead and Dean almost died mourning him? Or maybe because they were straight up cuddling in bed this morning…_ Sam rationalized. Still, it was unspoken and had been for years. Maybe that was just their way- the way that they had to do it in order for it to happen. Who was he to intervene? They were happy. _Just let them be happy_.

He cleared his throat and shrugged. “You’re both, you know, doin’ alright?” Sam internally cringed. That was the best he had to cover up his initial conversation starter?

Dean shifted his eyes from Sam to the door then down at the pot before coming to land back at Sam again. “Uh, yeah, fine. Why?”

Sam nodded obnoxiously slow and then shrugged. “No reason. I’m going for a run,” he said and then turned tail and nearly ran out of the room. 

After Sam had left, Dean pinched his eyes closed and let out an exaggerated sigh from between barely parted lips. He set the stove to a simmer and left the kitchen to find Rowena, who was sitting at the library table with The Book of the Damned opened in front of her. 

“Hey,” he greeted and sat across from her, folding his hands on the table. 

She looked up at him and offered a smile. “Hello, Dear.”

He indicated to The Book with a single index finger without unfolding his hands. “How’s it going?”

“Slow. I have _absolutely_ no idea what I’m looking for.”

Dean pursed his lips and nodded. “Anything I can do?”

“No, Sweetheart, not unless you can suddenly read-”

“Gibberish? No, no I can’t.” he said with a smirk.

Rowena smiled then narrowed her heavily painted eyes. “Dean, don’t take this the wrong way… but…” she sighed, “what happened to you?”

His eyes widened and he leaned forward across the table a bit. “What are you talkin’ about?”

“Were you sick?”

“Uh, no.”

“What _happened_?”

“We told you; Lucifer caught up with us, Crowley sacrificed himself to close the tear, Cas got killed but brought back by the kid.” he said with outstretched hands that rested against the table.

She narrowed her eyes further and also leaned closer, over her book. “And what in between?”

Dean frowned but met her gaze.

“Darling, you've lost weight."

"Why does everyone keep saying that? Everyone gives me a hard time about my eating habits and says I'm getting soft around the middle then I lose a little weight and suddenly it's cause for concern? What gives?"

Rowena held her hands up in surrender but rolled her eyes. "Osch, forget I mentioned it."

They fell into silence as Rowena went back to reading between the lines in The Book. After a few minutes, Dean went to go get his own book about alternate dimensions and powerful spell work that required ingredients that he wasn't convinced even Cas would be able to collect. He kept reading though, his legs crossed and propped up on the edge of the table.

The bunker door opened and they both turned to see who came in; Sam, sweaty and gross, with his headphones still plugged into his ears as he descended the steps.

"Hey, Forrest Gump," Dean greeted and lowered his book but not his feet as he looked over his shoulder to peer at his brother. "How was your run?"

"Good, you should come with me sometime."

"No, no," he waved his hand dismissively and then pointed at Rowena, "she say's I'm too thin-"

Rowena's eyes snapped to look at Dean as though betrayed then back at Sam with wide eyes as if she'd been caught with her hand in the cookie jar.

"-if anything, I should be sitting around eating junk food." he finished with a wide, shit-eating grin while rubbing his belly.

"That's the last thing you need." Sam scoffed.

"Pfft, whatever." Dean crossed his arms. "Go take a shower, Stinky."

Sam rolled his eyes but started for the showers anyway.

"And what, Dean, was that?" Rowena asked.

"What, is it some big secret that I'm sickly?" Dean shot back but with very little malice.

"You're so damaged," Rowena laughed, "someone shows a hint of concern and you reject it."

He pursed his lips and stared at her with narrowed eyes. Challenge accepted: "When Cas died, I couldn't eat. I just wasn't hungry. What I did manage to eat made me sick." he said dryly, like he was stating a series of facts and not divulging a painful, personal history. "And- it wasn't just Cas, y'know, I mean sure that was the hardest but it was losing my Mom, worrying about a new apocalypse, we lost a close, personal friend and we even… even losing Crowley was hard. We lost a lot in one day and it was... it was hard."

Rowena swallowed and her expression pensive but when she spoke her voice was gentle, like it had been when she confessed her own worries onto an amnesia afflicted Dean. He remembered the confession like it was yesterday and, perhaps, it was why he was willing to share with her now. "And how are you now?"

"Anxious," he said with a laugh. "You?"

"Wonderful."

"Really," he said disbelievingly. "I know that you and Crowley weren't exactly close or whatever but..."

"Fergus and I, if we weren't so set on hating one another..."

Dean waited patiently, dropping his legs to lean into the conversation, his arms crossed on the table.

"Maybe things could have been different but we were never on the same page. We would find the same page but never at the same time. I feel _something_ in knowing that he's dead but I can't describe it yet... it's like I wish I could talk to him just one last time..."

"Regret... about the things you didn't say?" Dean offered.

Rowena looked at him with wide eyes and a deep frown. "Yes...."

"I know what that's like..."

Her expression softened in realization. "When you got that chance, did you have that talk?"

"Part of it," he said with a long sigh.

"I suppose that says something."

"Like what?"

"You got partway through discussing your feelings, which is a step in the right direction, but it also says something to the fact that if you didn't have 'the talk' when you got another chance, it never would have happened between Fergus and I- we would have went on hating one another."

Dean took a deep breath and furrowed his brow as he stared at Cas' name in the table.

She nodded appreciatively and looked back down at the pages and he did the same, the two coming to a silent agreement about dropping the conversation.

**O.o.O.o**

“So, what you’re telling me is…” Dean stretched out an open palm to face the ceiling as he addressed Rowena who was standing in front of the desk with the Book of the Damned open in front of her. She was now wearing an elegant dress and make-up, returned to her former glory. The rest of the team: Sam, Dean, Cas, Claire, and Jack all stood in various spots around the table; Sam to Dean’s right, Cas beside Rowena on her left, Jack at the head of the table to Cas’ left and Claire stood across from Cas, on Dean’s left. “-You found the spell but you can’t do it?”

“I can do it, I just need more power.”

“I thought you were the most powerful witch in the world?” Claire asked and crossed her arms as she looked at Rowena, who smiled brightly.

“Oh, Dear, you flatter me. Although, _yes, I am_ the most powerful witch in the world,” she lilted, “this is a _very_ powerful spell that requires more magic than I can do on my own.”

Sam nodded and indicated vaguely with one hand, “like you did when we were facing off with Amara.” 

“Exactly,” she said and held her head up higher. “if we’re not to have any outside help, with any demons that is, we’ll need to find a coven of witches that would be up to the task.”

“Okay, that’s easy, right?” Dean asked. “There’s fucking witches everywhere.”

“No, not easy.” Rowena shook her head. “The witches I called for help last time perished and I’ve played a hand - as did the Men of Letters, as did you boys - in attempting to kill what remains of witches covens. Those who remain will not be so open to closing the gates of hell, considering that it’s where most witches derive their power from.”

“Then why are you doing it?” Jack asked. “Won’t that mean you _will_ also be powerless.”

“Never underestimate the power of self-preservation, Dear.” Rowena said sweetly before Dean could so much as bare his teeth at the nephilim. "By closing hell, yes I may lose some of the more powerful magic, however, I also keep my soul from being dragged to Hell in the future and we will have less demon's to deal with which is less trouble for me. Trust me, I'm perfectly alright with this."

As Dean dragged his gaze from Jack to look back at Rowena, he lingered over meeting Cas’ eyes.

“Okay,” Sam started, “then, let’s start looking for some friendly witches.”

Dean smirked and stood taller, his head held high. “We’re going on a witch’s hunt, you might say.” - literally everyone rolled their eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poem by Madisen Kuhn.


	12. 13x10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so:
> 
> SPN Family Fluff, little more fluff, then there's some _Destiel_ fluff, some plot (because that's the _**actual**_ point of this fic), then there's some Sam &Dean bromance (kinda), and finally- _FINALLY_ an introduction into Wayward Daughters, it's going to be way off to the truth but this is _my_ story... so, yeah. --- How'd you like my run on sentence?

** 13x10 **

Sam sat across from Dean in the bunker’s library, both of them with their laptops open, either scrolling or typing as they sat in silence.

“I don’t understand why you don’t want to call Max.” Sam said finally, leaning away from his laptop, ceasing his research in the process.

“Because, Sam, the last time we saw Max he’d lost his mom and Alicia in the same night and we kept him from taking that deal to bring ‘em back. He hates us. Do you really think he’s gonna wanna help?”

“Yes, yes I do. This is about closing the gates of Hell, not necessarily helping you or I in any way. If anything, he’d do it for revenge on the kind of bitch witch that killed Tasha and Alicia.” Sam took a deep breath, “and, I think, Max is bigger than all that. We did our best, you were just looking out for him. He’s a good guy, even if it’s painful I think he’d recognize it.”

Dean took a deep breath and sighed exaggeratedly. “Fine, but _you’re_ calling him,” he said and jabbed a finger at him. 

Without further prompting, Sam pulled out his phone and dialed the number. When he put the phone up to his ear, Dean leaned in and tried to listen in on the conversation. Sam’s expression dropped from apprehensive to disappointment and while the automated voice talked in his ear he revealed to Dean the reason; “Voicemail- Ah, hey, Max. It’s Sam Winchester. I’m calling because we got something big, change the world big, Max. Call us back, okay? Thanks, bye.”

“Well,” Dean started with wide eyes and raised eyebrows, “there goes that idea.”

Sam rolled his eyes. “He’s probably on a case or something, he’ll call back.” 

When Sam looked past him to the hallway, Dean turned in his chair to see Claire clamoring out with her bags. She dumped them in the middle of the room and stood in front of them with her hands on her hips. “Can’t a girl get some help around here?”

Dean wrapped his left arm around the back of the chair and frowned while scowling at the pile of bags on the floor. “Didn’t you come here with _one_ bag?” 

“Yeah, but I’ve been here for two weeks!”

He turned in his chair again to look at Sam incredulously but his younger brother simply shrugged and gave him an ‘amused frown’. “I’m sorry, Claire,” he said as he turned back to face her, “I don’t see the correlation.”

Claire rolled her eyes, her hands still planted on her hips. “Rowena and I went shopping.”

“When did you do that?” Sam asked, his brows lifted high on his forehead and creasing his skin deeply. 

“When you and Dean were out on that,” she waved her hand in the air dismissively, “- that pagon god thing and Cas and Jack were out wherever they go when they’re not here.”

Dean and Sam both took a second to think about it and then nodded in unison. 

“And in the meantime, you two went _shopping_.” Dean asked incredulously.

“Oh, don’t even.” Sam said and Dean looked back at him in surprise. “You just went shopping earlier this month.”

“Cad needed clothes, he didn't have any!”

Claire smirked and dipped her chin as she peered at him under heavy lashes. “You and Cas went shopping together? Like, just the two of you?”

Sam nodded emphatically, a shit eating grin on his face. Dean opened his mouth, his head snapping from Sam to look at Claire in exasperation. 

Before Dean could say anything, Claire continued, “Seriously, that’s adorable.” 

His head shook violently as he looked back and forth between Sam and Claire before growling in annoyance. “You two are unbelievable. _Unbelievable_! I’m being attacked in my own home! What I do with my time is my business, my _personal_ business.” 

“Taking Cas out shopping is your personal business?” Claire giggled.

“You know what? I won’t stand for this!” Dean said as he stood from his chair.

“Hey, you can go shopping, by all means, but you can’t give me a hard time about it either,” she said while laughing and pointing at his irritated expression. “Now, help me get these bags to the door and I’ll stop teasin’ you about it.”

Dean pursed his lips and gave one last, withering glare in her direction before stomping up to them and picking three out of the five in one arm. “You get to carry those two.” he said with an air of finality, grunting only a little at the sudden, heavy weight on his arm and then pointed at the remaining bags with his free hand.

“Sure,” she smiled and then picked them up like they weighed nothing, clearly the others were filled with bricks and Dean expressed as much. 

As she walked by him to get to the stairs, ignoring his complaint about the weight of her bags, Dean pouted but when he caught Sam smirking at him he switched to a glower and followed after Claire. “You can wipe that dumbass grin off your face before I do it for you,” he said in passing.

Sam half-heartedly attempted to change his expression but it really just turned into an awkward screw of the lips to the other side, the laugh lines around his eyes were still creasing with his hidden smile. 

“Thanks,” Claire said once they reached the top of the stairs, “I’ll call the cab after Sam and I go for our run.”

Ignoring the last part, Dean shook his head and held up a hand. “No, no. You’re not taking a cab. We’ll drive you home.”

“Oh no, you guys are looking for those witches and I have to-”

“Nope, it’s now a road trip.”

“Aw c’mon, no way!”

Dean smiled proudly, one that went ear to ear and crinkled the corners of his eyes. He then waggled his eyebrows as he said, “A _family_ road trip.”

In the middle of Claire’s exaggerated groan, Cas manifested in the middle of the war room and Dean leaned over the edge of the railing and shouted, “Cas! We’re goin’ on a road trip!”

He barely had time to adjust to being back at the bunker before he was spinning around to look for where Dean had greeted him so loudly. When Cas gathered his wits, he looked up at the balcony with a full on squint. “Ah- what?”

Claire rolled her eyes, while trying to hide her pleased smile, and started to descend the stairs. “Dean is making us _all_ go back to my place.”

Sam shrugged and walked from the library to the war room, his hands deep in his pockets. “I don’t see why not? I’ve been needing to meet up with Jody anyway, we’re working on the network of hunters and it’d be easier to do it in person.”

Cas looked away from Sam to look back up at Dean who was smiling but there was something more under the fronted expression that made Dean's ‘effortless smile’ waver slightly. He was looking between the three of them with minute desperation- Dean needed this more than he wanted it. Realizing this, Cas nodded his agreement; keeping his initial reaction of ‘I could just fly us there’ to himself. 

“Awesome.”

**O.o.O.o**

Piled into the car, with Cas and Claire in the back, Dean started the impala. Once on the road, Sam, Claire, and Dean argued over what music to play on the way.

“ _Kingdom of Rust_ is the best song for beginning a road trip, I don't care what we play after!” Claire shouted over Sam who was insisting his own playlist, including: _Amarillo by Morning_. 

“No way, we're listening to _Carry on My Wayward Son_! -- Aye, aye, aye!” Dean barked when both Sam and Claire spoke up, in unison, to protest, “Driver picks the music- everyone else shuts their pie holes!” 

“Dean?” Cas asked gently.

“What?” he responded and looked to meet Cas' eyes in the rearview mirror. 

“How about this?” he leaned forward in his seat to hand a cassette tape up to the front seat. Claire leaned forward and craned her neck in an attempt to see the tape but couldn't get a good look at it in time.

Before Dean could grab it, Sam did and smiled. He'd forgotten about the mystery tape that Dean had been playing after Cas had been killed.

_DEAN'S TOP 13 ZEPP TRAXX_

He looked over to Dean who looked like a shy middle school kid; fidgeting and glancing nervously between the road ahead, Sam, to the tape, then to the rearview mirror to look at Cas, and repeat. Sam offered a smile at his brother as he pushed the tape into the tape deck before anyone else could say anything. Dean took a calming breath and when _Kashmir_ started as the first song, he calmed slightly but as the song went on he got more and more anxious, though it went unnoticed by both Cas and Claire.

The song ended and Dean went to eject the tape but Sam batted his hand away just as _All my Love_ began to play. Dean looked to Sam with a look of desperation. Sam would not relent but his expression was soft, accepting even, as he smiled at his brother. 

Cas looked away from his window he had been gazing out of and looked into the rearview mirror again to meet Dean’s bright eyes. Both of them sharing a tender gaze before Dean was forced to look back at the road.

When the tape was finished, Dean let Claire play her phone through the aux port that Sam had installed so many years ago. 

Halfway through the trip, after Claire won a playful debate with Cas about whether or not she was allowed to drink in order to protect her cover, she stuck her tongue out between her smile.

“Why- why are you showing me your tongue?”

Claire laughed and put her tongue back in her mouth.

Sam turned in his seat to look at them in the back. “Cas, it's a playful gesture, like a wink.” 

“Oh,” he said. Cas looked back at Claire and poked his tongue out at her, his lips barely parted to reveal it to her.

She laughed again and stuck hers out between her teeth, her mouth curved up into a smile. 

Dean watched them in the mirror with a goofy grin on his face. 

Once they were nearly at Jody’s house, Sam announced an update from Rowena, who was out looking for other witches to convince into closing Hell. “She didn't have any luck in Boston, she's going to move further up the East Coast.”

By the time they were at Jody’s it was nearly 4 pm. They spilled out of the car where they were met in the yard by Alex and Jody, Alex running to embrace Claire first. After Jody hugged Claire she turned to the boys and hugged each of them but before she could be introduced to Cas, she pulled him into a hug too. 

Cas’ eyebrows shot up in surprise and he braced himself for the embrace, his arms trapped under Jody’s and shoulders pulled up so that they nearly touched his ears.

Dean and Sam both smirked before Dean began introductions. “Cas, this is Jody. Jody, Castiel.” 

Jody smiled up at him, her eyes narrowed in her obvious delight. 

“I've heard a lot about you Jody, it's a real pleasure to be meeting you finally.” he said with a slight bow of his head and quirk of the lips. 

Her smile broadened and she nodded. “Was about to say the same about you, Castiel.” 

As they walked into the house two by two; Claire and Alex, Cas and Sam, and Jody and Dean, the eldest Winchester pulled out a large object out of his back pocket and held it out to Jody as they walked.

“What’s this?” she asked as she took it from his waiting hand. 

“It’s a bunker key, it’ll let you get into the bunker. We gave one to Claire too.” 

“You guys need me to house-sit or something?” she said with a light tone but her brow was creased with worry.

Dean chuckled. “No, nothing like that.” They stopped walking, letting the other four go ahead of them. “Sam and I were just talking about how if this is going to work out, maybe it’s not the best idea to keep the bunker to ourselves. It’s our home but it’s got some great resources that could help a lot of people.”

“You guys the new Bobby then?” 

Dean smiled thoughtfully. “Shame it takes two of us to fill his shoes…”

Jody put a gentle hand on his shoulder. “I am so proud of you boys and I know that Bobby would be too.” She bounced the weight of the key in her hand and smiled. “It’s a great idea.”

“Not _everyone_ is getting a key,” he said offhandedly as they started walking again. “So, don’t go braggin’ about having a key to ultimate knowledge and power or we’ll never hear the end of it.”

She laughed and shoved him through the threshold of the house.

Inside, they all lounged in the family room laughing and telling stories. Currently, Cas was talking about one of his most epic battles back before man was created. Dean was sitting in the armchair with his feet kicked up on the coffee table. Sam, Jody and Alex took up the long couch with Claire perched on the arm closest to where Castiel was standing with his back to the television as he talked- he had everyone’s undivided attention.

“-- Then, Benjamin asked; ‘but, why not both?’ I didn’t get it but Gabriel did. He referred to it all the time, about once every two human days.” 

Everyone was howling with laughter, Cas was smiling his half smile; clearly still not getting the joke but was glad that his friends did. When Cas finished his tale it reminded Sam of a story back when he and Dean were kids and John had been gone for a long time. 

Sam told the bulk of the story while little snippets came from Dean now and again, both boys bringing laughs from everyone in the room..

“Then we heard the key in the door and I swear,” Sam laughed as he pointed at Dean, his eyes narrowed in utter amusement, “I’ve never seen you move so fast in your life! You went from one end of the room to the other so fast, you left a smoke trail behind you!”

Dean laughed. “You know damn well if Dad caught me with it he never would have let me live it down.”

Sam chuckled and sucked the corner of his lips between his teeth as he maintained eye contact with his brother, both of them smiling so widely that all their troubles seemed to melt away from their faces and shoulders. They looked at each other fondly as they recalled their childhood together, though it was rough and though there was much angst shared between the male Winchester’s, John included, there were still positive memories that helped keep their relationship as strong as it was. 

Blood alone was not enough to keep the boys as close as they were throughout all the many trials they had endured, they were brothers through and through and that meant more than name alone. Memories such as funny stories or tender moments were what reminded them why they were so loyal to one another, why having them in one another’s life was so important. They seemed to have the same affectionate feeling at the same time as they smiled at one another before Dean winked and leaned back further in his chair. 

Dean glanced back up at Cas who offered another half smile that made Dean seem to melt as he offered his own, closed lipped smirk. 

“So, Sam,” Jody started after the silence stretched between the group, “how’s the networking going?”

Sam swallowed his drink of beer hurriedly in order to respond. “Oh, uh, good. Yeah, just working out some of the kinks when it comes to the programming. It would really help if I could get into the old program that the Men of Letters had been using.”

Alex leaned forward in her spot on the couch in order to look at Sam, who was sitting on the other side of Jody. “I have a friend I could maybe talk to…”

“You know a hacker that could break into a secret society’s network?” Sam asked incredulously.

“Yeah, met her in college. She’s one of the best, if not _the_ best. She hacks into everything, mostly a robin hood style of hacking but she can get more criminal if the situation calls for it.” she laughed.

Sam and Dean shared a brief look as they simultaneously thought of the true 'best hacker'.

Dean chuckled and looked at Jody who looked like she was trying to unhear things. “Well,” he said, “I’m impressed that criminal hackers are going to college now. She help the professor out with grading curves too?”

Jody gasped and looked at Alex, who rose her hands and shook her head adamantly then glared at Dean.

“Well,” Sam said through a breathy laugh he was trying to hide, “I’d appreciate it any help. She can be trusted with, well, well with this ‘life’?”

“Of course!” Alex affirmed with a curt nod. 

Dean’s phone rang and he excused the interruption moments before picking it up in front of them. “Hey. Really? Damn, okay. You don’t- ooh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, hold on, lemme ask him.” He looked at Cas, the phone still held up to his ear. “Rowena struck out here in the states but thinks she might have someone in the UK who could help. She wants to know if you’d- uh… well,” he started to stall as he met Cas’ eyes and he realized what he was saying.

He felt like he was using Cas’ abilities again. Cas had wings so that _must_ mean that Cas needed to fly everyone around. Then again, Cas liked flying. Cas was also a member of this team and he could contribute in any way he wanted, even if that meant using his abilities that he was created with. Dean wanted to smack himself, he was confusing himself as much as he was confusing the people all staring at him now. 

Jody looked at Sam when Dean’s face went blank and he actually stopped talking. “Dean,” Jody coaxed, sharing a concerned expression with everyone else in the room.

“Sorry, uh, Cas, she wanted to know if you’re up for being- well, for helpin’ her out with getting there.”

“Of course, Dean. Whatever she needs.”

“Well, she could take a plane.” Dean said quickly and ignored Rowena’s protests from the other side of the phone. “You don’t _have_ to do it.”

“Well, we need more witches if we’re going to close the gates of Hell. So, of course I have to do it.”

Dean’s face scrunched up in distaste. “Yeah, yeah, shut up-” he said back into the phone, “-he’s taking you, keep your dress on, Princess.” Even as he was talking to Rowena, his eyes never broke the gaze he shared with Cas- looking for something that likely wasn’t there, something that Cas didn’t even know was supposed to be there. He was looking for discontentment or annoyance but all Cas held in his expression was understanding and alacrity. “Yeah, okay. Just text me the address, he’ll meet you. Okay, yeah, I’ll tell them. Bye.”

He hung up the phone and slid it back into his back pocket by arching off the chair momentarily.

“Wha’d she want you to tell us?” Claire asked.

“Oh,” Dean blinked, “uh, ‘hi’.”

Sam rolled his eyes and smirked and Claire did the same. 

Jody looked between them all. “And Rowena is the witch you guys were digging up last week?”

“Yep.” Dean, Sam, and Claire all said in unison.

“And she’s what,” Alex started, looking up at Claire, “she’s Glinda, the good witch?”

“Yeah, kinda.” Claire shrugged.

Sam scratched at his jaw and shook his head. “Actually, Glinda is in Oz.” 

“Har-Har-” Alex furrowed her brows when she saw Sam’s serious expression and her eyes went wide. “What, Glinda is real?”

“Yep.” Dean and Sam said.

**O.o.O.o**

“Hey, Cas, uh, before you go, can I talk to you for a sec?” Dean asked and grabbed Cas by the arm - just under where Cas had his long sleeve shirt rolled up halfway up his forearms - as everyone began to stand in order to use the bathroom, grab a new beer, or otherwise.

“Of course, Dean.” he said and followed Dean’s guide, with no resistence, out the front door and back towards Baby.

“I was waiting for the right moment to give this to you but that seems, well, I don't know what I was waiting for, really.” Dean said as he popped the trunk. He grabbed at a paper bag that still looked rather crisp and clean, the top folded over twice but otherwise unwrinkled. 

Cas looked down at it then back up to meet Dean’s anxious gaze. “What is it?”

Dean rolled his eyes but let out a soft sigh. “It’s a gift, Cas. Just- just open it.”

With narrowed eyes, Cas took it from Dean and opened the bag- it crinkled loudly as he did so. He pulled out a book and a smile spread across his face like a kid at Christmas, revealing some of the pink of his gums. It’d been the first time Dean had seen that kind of smile from Cas that was actually Cas; every other time had been during a possession from either Leviathan or Lucifer and they’d been sadistic. This smile was pure and blinding in Cas’ joy- Dean’s stomach clenched as his heart seemingly skipped a beat, it took his breath away but he, expertly, masked it with a shrug and a half smirk.

“Dean,” Cas started.

“I- uh, well, you’d said that you’d read the other one twice already and we’ve been reading it at night so it’s, like, your third read-through now and I…” he faltered when he saw Cas’ expression, “-what?”

Cas was looking at him like Dean had just handed him the moon, his lips slightly parted and eyes gazing at him in the softest of adoring ways, and it gave Dean the butterflies which made him even more embarrassed about the whole exchange- he felt the heat at the back of his neck and the tips of his ears. Just as he felt the lightning bolt of panic that initiated the all too familiar instinct of fight or flight, leaning towards flight, Cas spoke up.

“Thank you,” he said gently.

Dean shrugged a shoulder and smirked at him. “Don't mention it,” he said while looking at the cover of the poetry collection book in Cas’ hands. 

He'd found the book while at a local shop and immediately thought of Cas, it took him all of two seconds to decide on buying it but took half a week to decide how to give it to him; this wasn't it but if Cas was leaving again…

“Uh, check in now and again, will ya?” he said gruffly as he rubbed the back of his neck and diverted his gaze to stare at the hems of Cas’ jeans where they met the top of his sensible shoes.

“Of course, Dean.” Cas smiled.

Dean had to do an instant replay of what he just heard to be sure that Cas hadn’t said, ‘yes, dear’. Though Cas’ words were nowhere close to the cliche domestic phrase, his tone was spot on. 

“Alright, then,” Dean started and took his first step towards the house, “be careful.” He clapped Cas on the shoulder as he passed by and a moment later he heard the familiar sound of wings flapping and a gust of wind blew from behind, rustling the grass around him. Dean forced himself to take a deep, calming breath, after faltering in the wake of Cas’ departure, and continued forward. 

When he walked back into the house, Jody and Alex were leaning over Sam who had opened his laptop on the kitchen table. Alex was on her phone talking to her hacker friend while Sam explained how the program would work to Jody. Dean lifted his foot to join them when he heard the toilet flush from the bathroom to his right. He hadn’t planned on it but with Cas gone and a second with Claire alone, the idea sparked in his brain without warning and he decided to act on the impulse just as quickly. When he heard the sink run water, he ceased his efforts in joining the others and waited. Less than a minute later, Claire opened the door and flinched at him standing there staring at her.

“Jesus, Dean, what the hell is wrong with you?” 

“Can we talk?” he asked solemnly and Claire’s initial look of shock and annoyance fell into one of seriousness.

“Yeah, of course.”

Dean led the way to the back of the house with Claire close on his heels as they closed themselves into her messy bedroom.

**O.o.O.o.**

“And then, when one of the traps activates, it sends a signal to the program and- like that!” Sam exclaimed excitedly and pointed at a new line on the screen. It looked like an email inbox but less modern, very basic, almost 1980’s basic. The bold faced line of code blinked on the screen between bold faced lettering and normal script.

_V.11/10/2017.WI.US_

“So, what does it mean?” Jody asked as she leaned closer to the screen, her hand braced against Sam’s left shoulder.

“It’s a vamp case in Wisconsin, after I get the basic functions figured out I’ll be able to adjust the coding so that it’s clearer to the hunters using the program…”

“Hm, impressive, Sam.” Jody encouraged and squeezed his shoulder.

“Thanks, it’ll help when we get, uh, what’s her name?”

Alex, while still listening to the female voice on the phone, pulled the mouth end of the phone away and whispered, “Kendell.” 

“-Kendell,” Sam inserted, “on board.” He looked away from the computer screen to look up at Jody who took a single step back in order to make the neck craning less painful for the both of them. “Claire said you met another hunter?” 

“Oh yeah, I had a vengeful spirit that I was handling, salt n burn wasn’t enough, so I was looking into the item it might be attached to when this other hunter showed up and beat me to it. No idea where she came from 'cus I sure as hell never heard of her before. Seems pretty cool about things though and was interested in what we’ve got goin’ on. I’ve got her information if you wanna give her a call.”

Sam’s lips turned downwards but not in a frown as he accepted her words and then nodded. “Thanks, Jody.”

“No problem.” she jutted her chin at the laptop again. “So, you gonna see who’s available for that vamp case?”

He shook his head glumly. “Nope, can’t. I’ve already put just about everyone on something, we’re stretched pretty thin since the Men of Letters had a pretty fierce focus in the midwest, we’ve got everyone on the coasts. Dean and I can take the vamp case, should be pretty open and shut.”

“Well, I-” Her phone rang. “Hold that thought,” she said and raised a finger while simultaneously raising the phone to her ear. 

“Sheriff Hanscum, how- whoa, Donna, slow down.” Her expression shifted from neutral to anxious in a matter of a millisecond and she turned her back to Sam and Alex, who was still on the phone, to walk into the family room- away from distractions. 

“Okay, and you’re saying it’s _not_ a vamp case because- alright, alright, it’s not vampires. Uh-huh, uh-huh…” she looked up when Sam came into the room with his hands in his pockets then leaned his left shoulder against the wall. “Alright. No, it’s not a problem. Of course. Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow. Uh-huh. Okay, bye.” 

Sam looked at her inquisitively and she pocketed her phone. 

“That was Donna, said she had a case that looked like vamps but the coroner just called in saying there was some sort of venom in the vic. She believes it’s Vetala but she’s not sure and there’s been another disappearance. She’s called for back-up.”

“Don't forget, they hunt in twos but can be part of a pack.” Sam started as he pulled up his phone in order to pull up addresses near the trap they'd set to ping Vampires.

“Really?” 

“Yeah, Dean's gone up against them a few times now and I had a run in with a pair too.” he said absentmindedly and he thought about Krissy Chambers fleetingly before shoving his phone back in his pocket, finished looking for motels for the moment.

“Thanks, I'll keep that in mind.” she replied and sighed, already feeling tired- being thrown into a case not one full day into her weekend.

With a slight smirk on his face, Sam looked at his watch and nodded. “Well, two and a half hours of downtime isn’t bad.” 

She laughed and gave him the best ‘affectionate mother’ look that she had in her arsenal. “It was great to see you boys, smiling no less.” 

Sam smiled and pulled away from the wall to step closer to her. “Thanks for havin’ us Jody, it was really good to just catch up and laugh.”

“Quality time,” she smiled.

He nodded appreciatively then tilted his head with a coy expression. “So, whatcha think of Cas?”

“He’s everything you boys have described and more. He’s definitely a Winchester, that’s for sure.” she winked. Then she leaned in slightly, her head tilted in his direction, and whispered; “Is there something between him and Dean?”

Sam’s mouth widened into a bright smile and he indicated to her with an open palm turned upwards. “ _Thank you_! I felt like I was going crazy- hey, Dean!” he stopped mid sentence as his brother and Claire walked in from the foyer - the front door slamming shut behind them - and greeted them more loudly than necessary which was reflected when his brother sarcastically greeted him in the same tone.

“Hey, Sam, are you gossiping?! Or just asking Jody how to style your hair girlier than it already is?!” he shouted the entire time in order to get his point across about Sam’s overly jovial greeting. 

Sam rolled his eyes, “Jerk.”

“Bitch.” 

“Cas leave?” Sam asked.

Dean nodded and then looked towards the kitchen when Alex came out, her phone hidden away in its disuse. 

“Well, cases are popping up everywhere,” Sam continued when Alex joined their misshapen circle. “Dean, we got a vamp case up in Wisconsin…”

“Claire, Donna called about a case she needs some help with, you wanna come?” Jody asked.

Claire nodded adamantly. “Yeah, what is it?”

“Potentially a Vetala.” she replied simply. 

“So, everyone’s leavin’?” Alex asked.

Claire turned towards Alex. “You can come too, it can be a ‘girls day’!” though he offer was sincere, her use of ‘girls day’ dripped with sarcasm. 

Alex shrugged, “Sure, but you’re sure that they’re not vampires?”

“Donna is one-hundred percent positive.” Jody affirmed.

“‘Kay, then, let’s go.” Alex said and then looked at Sam. “I gave your information to Kendell, she’ll contact you one way or the other and let you know a good place to meet up. She’s a bit of a drifter since we graduated so she could be anywhere.”

Sam nodded his appreciation and then looked to Dean. “Ready?”

Dean smiled and felt a Scooby Doo reference on his tongue but he’d had enough ‘dad puns’ on his record for the week and he felt like he was showing his age for all to see in bright neon signs. He kept the reference for later, when his punniness would be needed again.

**O.o.O.o**

“You know, I was thinking…” Dean started as he turned onto the highway.

“So that’s what that smell was!” Sam said without looking up from his phone.

Dean shot him a glare but chose to ignore the taunt. “This could very well be the last of the vampire nests, I mean, with the alpha dead and all the effort Ketch put into killing ‘em all…”

Sam looked up from his phone and looked out at the road with a thoughtful expression. “Wow, yeah. You’re probably right. How do you want to approach it?”

“Well, I don’t want to be _friends_ with them, Sam. I’m just saying, we could be putting the final nail in the coffin for these monsters.”

“Kinda bittersweet, huh?” 

Dean pouted a lip and considered it thoroughly. “Yeah, I guess so.” Dean fleetingly thought of Benny and wondered what he would have thought about the extinction of vampires. He couldn’t help but think that being the ax behind an extinction of species was more scary than it was invigorating. Perhaps there were still ‘good’ vampires left that would live out their lives peacefully. Then again, all the good vampires they’d known were now dead, including Lenore and Benny. 

“Wish things didn’t have to get worse before they got better, y’know?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, everything is so under control right now, so normal. Yeah, shit still sucks when it comes to getting Mom back and trying to convince Jack to help with it but nothing is hanging over our head and we’re not in the middle of a war for once. I just wish-” Sam’s voice choked up and he looked out his window. 

“Sam?”

“We were so _fucking_ close, Dean. So close.”

“To what?”

“Why weren’t we handin’ out keys sooner?” he asked without looking back at Dean.

Dean narrowed his eyes as he tried to figure out Sam’s ominous question, trying to keep up with his rapid topic changes, and wading through the vagueness of each statement. He was thoroughly confused and was about to say as much but just as he opened his mouth, he looked over at Sam and his forlorn expression and it immediately dawned on him; he realized what Sam was referring to. _Who_ Sam was referring to. 

Eileen Leahy. 

“All we can do is make up for it, Sam. You can’t- fucking Ketch took the rug out from under us, you can’t blame-”

“No-” Sam interrupted in a sharp voice, “I…” he pounded his fist down on the space beside his window and made a deep growl deep in his chest. “I should have been there for her. Why did she- why didn’t she just come straight to the bunker? Or buy a burner? What- why? It’s not fair!”

Eileen had been a close personal friend to both of them, she was strong, sweet, and so damn precious but was killed in cold blood by Ketch. It _wasn’t_ fair and if Dean could bring her back he would in a heartbeat and knew Sam would do it even faster. Eileen had been the sister that Dean never had but the bond between Sam and Eileen could only be compared to the one he had with Cas, only a lot sweeter and with less anger and violence; they could communicate through looks and energy alone, no words needed but when they did talk it was gentle and understanding both in English and American Sign Language.

Sam had already known some sign language but after meeting Eileen he practiced and learned more so he could communicate with her through _her_ language. It was the sweetest thing Dean could witness without getting a cavity and it was the first time he’d seen Sam so smitten- their relationship had contrasted greatly from the one he’d shared with Jess or Amelia. Sam and Eileen understood each other on levels that Dean couldn’t even fathom and it was special, they hadn’t needed to hide anything from one another and though Eileen wasn’t weak in any sense of the word, Sam had always been so tender with her and Eileen accepted every side of Sam from his hunting life to his nerdy home life. Eileen could have been _the one_ and she was taken from them, over the Men of Letter’s delusions of power.

Her death had spurred them into action but also influenced their decision to open the home to those around them, it was that retroactive action that seemed to be affecting Sam now. 

“I wish I could tell you there was a good reason, I wish I could do more but dammit, Sam, all I can say is that we got the bastards. _You_ got them and you made them pay. Made ‘em pay for everything, for every _one_ they hurt.”

“Not good enough, we may have gotten revenge but she’s still dead- it didn’t bring her back.” Sam said, Eileen’s voice echoing similar words in his head; ‘ _it was just another kill, it didn’t bring my parents back_.’ 

He pinched his eyes closed and sighed as he rested his temple against the glass of his window. 

Dean swallowed hard and tightened his grip on the wheel. “Sam, I’m sorry.”

“When you talked about how you felt after Cas…” Dean held his breath and Sam swallowed thickly. “You said that it felt like there was something missing, I didn’t say it then because I didn’t think it’d help but… I know what you mean. I knew it with Jess but after I went soulless for awhile, when I got back I didn’t feel it anymore. It was like the slate got wiped clean.” He pulled away from the window and looked at Dean, who turned to meet his glassy eyes. “Does it get easier?”

Dean wondered how he could have missed how much his brother was still hurting from losing so many people, particularly Eileen. How could he have missed the obvious pain behind Sam’s eyes? He wanted to explain it away as: ‘The Winchesters are always in pain’ but that wasn’t fair. Dean had done it again, lost himself in his own woes and left Sam handle things by himself. Sam was still looking to him for answers, tears brimming in his wide, desperate eyes and all Dean could think was; _it’s not fair_. 

Sure, when Cas was away it still hurt but when Cas was nearby it was like it’d never happened and he could pretend that the hole had never been ripped into his soul. The nightmares kept the hole from healing quickly or even all the way, like a deep wound that kept getting pulled back open from another hit or overexertion, but it was nothing like when it first happened or when Cas had still been assumed dead. He got Cas back but Eileen was gone. 

He considered what that meant; that perhaps they could still find her and bring her back like they’d done with Rowena but he’d taken the wrong initiative with people’s souls before. Dean had gone so far as to steal Sam’s decision to _finally_ go to Heaven and now neither of them would have that luxury. Eileen on the other hand? She could be in Heaven but she could also be in The Veil. There were so many unknowns but maybe something could be done, just maybe. Dean put it on the list anyway, somewhere between closing Hell and getting Mary back. 

Not having words to say and not wanting to admit to Sam that he could never fully understand his pain the way Sam thought he could, he did the only other thing he could do; offer support and tell the truth. No more lies between Winchesters. 

He released the wheel with his right hand, still holding on with the left, and placed it on Sam’s knee while holding his brother’s gaze. “I don’t know, Sammy. We’ll figure it out though, I promise.” he took a deep breath and looked back at the road. “I’m here for ya, Sam. I know I don’t act like it all the time but I’m here, for anything you need.”

Sam sniffled and nodded once. He patted his brother’s hand twice, leaned back into his seat, and closed his eyes.

**O.o.O.o**

“Oh, heya, Sheriff Mills!” Donna greeted with an award winning smile as she embraced Jody, who returned it in full. Donna was a hard pill to swallow but once you did it was hard to return her enthusiasm for appreciating those she loved. “You brought your girls with ya,” she said after she pulled away.

“Donna, this is Claire; Claire, Donna.”

Claire nodded and smirked, “Hi.”

“It’s good to see you again,” Alex greeted.

“Of course, Alex, you too! Seems we only see each other when somethin’s off ‘n’ supernatural, huh?”

“Exciting lives,” Alex smirked and Donna laughed heartily.

While Alex and Donna continued to talk and catch up, Jody explained to Claire that she’d asked Alex to stay with Donna for a time while she helped the other hunters in the final battle with the British Men of Letters. 

“Well, Alrighty-roo!” Donna said with a wide smile. “I s’pose I should show you what we’re lookin’ at here, huh?”

Jody laughed through her nose and nodded. “Yeah, that’d be good.”

Donna beckoned them into her house and they gathered in the dining room just as Doug Stover came down from the upstairs dressed in uniform. “Honey, have you seen my- well, hello there!” he greeted with a smile as he looked between the three new faces.

“I put your flashlight on the dryer, put new batteries in it for ya,” she replied cheerily.

Jody glanced down and caught the wedding band around Donna’s left ring finger and smiled. 

“Thank ya, I’ll see ya when I get home,” he gave her a chaste kiss, nodded at all of them, and then left the room.

“I didn’t know you got married,” Jody said after the front door closed following his departure.

“Oh, don’t take it personally!” Donna said quickly but before Jody could reassure her that she wasn’t, Donna continued, “We didn’t have a ceremony or anything, just a quick court wedding and then off to the honeymoon! My parents weren’t even there-”

“Donna, I was just going to say, ‘congratulations’,” she said with a gentle hand on Donna’s wrist.

“Well, thank ya kindly!” she glanced down at the mess of papers and files on the table and indicated to them widely. “So, here’s what we have. I picked up on the last two vics and traced back some other cold cases, I think this has been going on for the last five years, about one vic per month but there have been three disappearances, one witness who was attacked but not abducted and two bodies showed up.”

Jody narrowed her eyes as she leafed through the files and pictures. “But you found the bodies of previous victims?”

Donna nodded.

“From what I’ve learned, Vetala horde their kills in their lair…?”

Alex pulled out her laptop and sat down at the table, stacking some of the papers and pushing them aside to make room. “I got this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Cas and Claire scene inspired by:_ https://goo.gl/images/Frvq5U


	13. 13x11 Part One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, the last time I posted, I made a joke about how I would give myself writer's block if I didn't do a better job at keeping to my outline, etc, etc... Well, it became a self full-filling prophecy, obviously. 
> 
> The result is that I was unable to complete the Wayward Daughters chapter. Ultimately, my writers block took everything and it didn't help that my personal life is currently in shambles, not that you guys need to know about that. Honestly, I was so excited about this because I had some great Claire & Alex moments as well as Jody & Claire. This was supposed to be awesome and I completely failed!
> 
> I think after the next two chapters, I'm going to shut this down, mark it complete, and wait for the storm to pass before I finish the end of the story. Perhaps I will write ALL of part two at once and upload it all at the same time, who knows. I'm trying guys, I really am.
> 
> (I'm sorry guys, I know I'm a total failure at this. Things are getting out of hand at home and work PLUS college classes started up again and it's been... " _difficult_ " to say the least.)

**What WOULD have happened in Wayward Daughters...**

After having first contact with the monster in an abandoned part of town, the women all believe it's something akin to an angel's true form based on Claire telling them how she learned that Cas has six wings and four faces (the creature looked like something out of Underworld but with six wings). After talking to Cas about it, believing the 'angel' to be Azrael (the angel of retribution), they find out that Azrael had died in the fall of the angels and they would be long dead if it had been an angel in true form.

They later figure out that it's actually a Night Hag. Similar to a Baku, the Night Hag eats nightmares and then turn on their victims and feeds on them. The Night Hag had taken on the appearance of an angel due to a small boys nightmares of his mothers biblical stories of vengeful angels. Eventually, it comes after Doug who was having nightmares about his first time killing a suspect in the line of duty. The Night Hag takes on the visage of the (un)dead criminal and attacks everyone at the house in the dead of night (they had all been staying and Donna and Doug's house). They kill the Night Hag with an iron blade (it's only weakness is iron to the heart during a feeding). Everyone lives and the girls go on their way and discuss making it more regular for them all to work together. 

Alex had stayed at the house and manned computers and research while Claire, Jody, and Donna had gone out to fight.

**O.o.O.o**

  
**13x11 -- Part One**  


“What’s with you?” Sam asked as they lowered themselves into the impala, Dean in the driver’s seat.

“Nothing.” Dean bit back.

The bunker’s garage lights cast shadows inside the car and over their faces and accentuated Dean’s scowl and Sam’s knowing smirk.

Sam rolled his eyes and sighed as he closed his door at the same time Dean did his own. “When’s the last time you ate?”

“What, why?”

“Are you hangry?” 

“Am I… _what_?” Dean timed his emphasized ‘what’ with starting up Baby.

“Hangry? You know, hungry-slash-angry…” he shrugged. 

“Who _are_ you? Where’s my brother? Are you some punk ass kid with another body swapping spell?”

Sam rolled his eyes and pulled out his phone, uninterested in bickering. 

“No, Sam, I’m not ‘ _hangry_ ’.”

“So then, it’s Cas.” he said offhandedly, scrolling through some app that Dean didn’t recognize.

“No, it’s not. I just haven’t been sleeping well these last few nights.” Dean pulled out of the bunker garage.

Sam smirked, again, attributing Dean’s sour mood for the lack of Cas both in the bunker but also ‘in bed’. The two bounced back and forth between one another’s room at night and were more often together than apart. Despite the intermittent jests at Dean’s expense, Sam said very little about the sleeping arrangements because he understood their need for companionship; it chased the nightmares away and on the occasion one did have a hard time the other could quickly wake them before it got too bad. Beyond that, they were one another’s touchstones, whether or not they would ever admit to themselves let alone one another.

It had been a few weeks since everyone split ways for different cases, Cas with Rowena, Dean and Sam taking on cases just as Jody, her wayward daughters, and their hunter friends, while Jack tended to the foreign affairs. However, Jack had been tagging along with Dean and Sam with the reasoning of ‘learning to blend in’. Though it would take a miracle to get Dean to admit it, Jack had started to fit in more and seemed less likely to sound like a jackass when it came to humanity. 

“I bet… ” Sam scoffed with a wry smirk.

Dean squinted at his brother menacingly and pulled onto the road. “Shuddup.”

Baby purred her way down the interstate, “Simple Man” played through the radio, and the boys talked idly on their way into town. Both were wearing suits in preparation for arriving at their destination, Newton, Kansas, under the guise of the Insurance Investigators later that day. 

“What’s up?” Jack said, suddenly appearing in the center of the back seat. 

“Jesus Christ!” Dean said and slammed on the brakes momentarily until he looked in the rearview mirror and saw who it was. “What’s up?!” he barked, “‘ _what’s up_ ’?!” 

Sam and Jack shared a look of confusion. "That is how you say it, right?" Jack asked, lowering his voice as he directed the question at Sam. The younger of the two Winchesters nodded subtly and pushed out his lower lip while briefly closing his eyes. 

“‘Hangry’ from you,” Dean looked at Sam accusingly, “and ‘what’s up’ from you?” he said turning slightly in his seat to look at Jack. “Ahhh, you know what? Forget it." he took a deep breath and released it slowly before saying, "Hi, Jack.”

“Hello, Dean.” Jack greeted in return, a small smile lifting his lips.

Dean visibly stiffened, not unnoticed by Sam who turned in his seat to talk with Jack. “How you doin’, Jack?”

“Fine, I thought I’d come with you during this case.”

Sam raised a brow at Jack’s casual statement and smirked a little. “Alright, we’re not sure it’s really our thing but we wanted to check in on it anyway.” he pulled out his tablet and opened the file with the information on the potential case. 

The rest of the ride was rather relaxed. Dean took to talking with Jack, trying his best to keep his sour mood out of it for Jack’s sake. He told Jack a story he had about Cas from back in the day, they both laughed with Jack about one of his stories about a misunderstanding he had in China, they compared monster hunts, discussed different cultures and their preferences for ‘time’, and anything they could think of. Jack was loosening up and it was becoming much easier to forget that he was the love child of Lucifer, in fact, he behaved much more like Gabriel when they first met him at college campus. 

They stopped for gas and all got out to stretch their legs. While Sam and Jack leaned against the passenger side of the car, Dean pumped the gas. Dean was watching the numbers on the gas pump rise absentmindedly and barely listening to the philosophical discussion that the other two were having when his phone buzzed in his pocket. 

With one hand still on the gas handle, he pulled his phone out and smiled subtly. “Hey, Sam!” he said loud enough to be heard over the sound of the city and their discussion. 

Sam turned and looked over the hood of the car questioningly. 

“Finish pumping, will ya? I gotta take this.” Dean said quickly and released the handle in order to answer the call away from the other two. “Heya, Cas,” he greeted once he was out of earshot.

_*Hello, Dean, how are you?*_

Dean smiled again and half-blinked at hearing Cas’ voice on the other end. “Good, man, how’re you?”

 _*Things are going slow, I don’t think we’re going to get anywhere with the covens. I’ll probably make her come back soon…*_

“Yeah, but how are _you_?”

_*I’d rather be there but I’m doing alright.*_

Dean’s smile widened, if it was at all possible. “Yeah, I’d rather you were here too, man.”

There was a slight pause, Dean pictured Cas in front of him, giving him that soft look in his eyes and a small half smile. The one he couldn’t hide when someone showed him even a fraction of affection or gave him a compliment that he wasn’t entirely sure how to respond to. 

What Dean couldn’t see was that was exactly the expression that Cas had on his face at the moment with Rowena screeching at some burly, Irish, shop owner about product prices and exchanges in the background. 

_*I’m concerned that this is taking too long.* Cas started up again, back to business. *With Crowley dead, someone is no doubt preparing to take his place. We’re out of demon allies, Dean, we have no idea what’s going on down there. What if by the time we finally get this spell working, it’s too late and we’re at war with Hell again?*_

He ran his hand over his face and with it, his smile dropped, like he was pulling off a mask. “Yeah, I know. Sam and I were thinking the same thing. It was better when it was ‘the devil we knew’, you know? Things have been kinda quiet on the demon front though. I mean, scary quiet.”

_*The calm before the storm.*_

“Yeah, something like that,” Dean said amidst a long sigh,

Silence stretched between them and Dean checked the screen on his phone to make sure the call was still active. Cas’ name still flashed at him brightly with a timer of how long they’d been connected for. 

He put the phone back up to his ear. “Cas?”

_*Yes, Dean?*_

Dean opened his mouth then closed it, then again as he attempted to get the words out but, again, he faltered. He remembered that he promised himself to tell Cas what he deserved to hear, things that he truly wanted to say. He straightened his shoulders and dug down deep.

_*Dean?*_

He scrunched up his face as though in physical pain but when the words came out they were soft and sincere, “I miss you…”

A pause.

_*I miss you too, Dean.*_

Dean’s face relaxed visibly and a half smile graced his features. “I-”

“Dean!” Sam shouted from by the Impala. He had his arms spread out wide in a silent series of statements: ‘c’mon, hurry up, what’s the hold up’.

Dean took a page out of Sam’s book and flashed him a very tight ‘bitch face’; his lips pursed, eyebrows raised, and eyes hard. “I-I gotta go, Cas. Thanks- thanks for checkin’ in buddy. Come home soon, okay?”

_*Of course, Dean. I’ll see you soon.*_

Despite still silently fighting with Sam from across the parking lot with violent arm waves and middle fingers, Dean smiled again at the deep sound Cas’s voice and the thought of genuinely seeing him soon. “See you soon,” he echoed. 

He hung up reluctantly and growled at the minutes on the counter, barely a full four minute conversation. “Sammy, I swear to Jack’s fucking grandfather, I love you - I do - but you are the most poorly timed... you’re the actual worst, sometimes, you know that?”

Neither of them said anything about the fact that Dean had slipped The L-Word casually into conversation. Instead, Sam rolled his eyes as if he hadn’t heard it at all as he tilted his head back and lifted both hands, palms facing up. “Oh, excuse me, Jerk, we have an appointment to keep. In case you forgot?”

“I didn’t forget, Bitch, but sometimes I’d like to take a second to appreciate a little- eh, forget it.” He waved a dismissive hand at him.

Sam was grinning at him mercilessly, pulling his door open. 

Dean was about to drop down into his seat while Jack was still opening his door when he noticed, for the first time, Jack’s outfit. He was wearing a white v-neck with a khaki brown jacket. Dean’s eye twitched involuntarily. “Uh, Jack?”

“Yes, Dean?”

Another eye twitch. “Whatcha wearin’?”

Jack looked down at himself, one hand still holding the door open. Sam was glancing, from his place inside the impala, between Jack and ducking his head in order to look at Dean’s expression. “Uhm, khakis…?”

Dean pinched his eyes closed, wanting to comment on the inadvertent reference to media but was too preoccupied with the fact that Jack was dressing up like Cas, old Cas, but Cas. Worse yet was if Jack took off the tan coat, he’d still look like Cas with his V-neck and slacks. What with his blue eyes and his hair... And there it was; the head tilt. _Damnit_. 

_It’s not bad, it’s just weird_. Dean thought, foolishly thinking his thoughts were his own. 

“Why is my outfit weird?”

“Aw, c’mon, Jack, damnit! I thought we were passed reading minds…”

“I’m sorry but you seem very concerned with what I’m wearing.” Jack replied simply.

Sam smothered a laugh with a snort which he made look like a sneeze. 

Dean frowned, then nodded, and finally rolled his eyes. “Whatever, you look fine, Jack. Don’t worry about. Get in the car, we’re running late.”

“Okay.” Jack said and they both fell into their respective seats. 

Sam gave Dean a look which was quickly dismissed as he pulled out of the gas station lot and back onto the street. They barely made it to the first intersection before Sam’s phone rang.

When Max’s name lit up the screen, Sam looked at Dean with wide eyes while Dean looked at Sam expectantly. 

“Max, hey…”

Despite what he was expecting, it was a female’s voice on the other end. _*Sam,*_

Sam sputtered and waved at Dean to stop. Dean looked at Sam, expecting an explanation in the form of mouthed words or gestures as he pulled over to the side of the road, throwing up his hazards. Instead of a subtle hint, what he got instead was a verbal explanation;

“Ah-Alicia, is that you?” Sam asked as he put the call on speakerphone.

Dean’s head snapped to look directly at Sam, who was already staring at his older brother, and his mouth dropped open. 

_*Yeah, listen, we got your message but Max said not to call back because he didn’t trust you guys… but… he’s really starting to scare me. I didn’t know who else to call…*_

“Where are you?” Sam asked urgently.

_*South Dakota, we’re moving north though, up towards Devils Lake, for a Wendigo case. Can you guys come meet us? I’m worried about Max, Sam, he’s not himself.*_

Sam huffed a short, nervous breath. “Okay, alright, we can we meet you.”

Her voice dropped to a near whisper, _*Can you track his phone? I have to go, hurry, please.*_

The call ended and Sam looked up from the screen to look at Dean again with wide eyes, his eyebrows halfway into his hairline. “Dean, what the hell??”

He shook his head, “I dunno, Sam. I don’t know.”

“Dean, if she’s alive…”

“-- Max has done something very stupid,” Dean finished.

Sam huffed. “You don’t think he…”

“He either took that bitch’s ring or he sold his soul.” Dean growled as he sped off the gravel and onto the asphalt, Baby’s tires squealing and her engine roaring. 

“What is happening?” Jack asked and leaned in between the seats, his head turned slightly to face Sam’s profile as the Winchester pulled up the phone tracking app they used. 

“Uh,” Sam started, “some hunter’s we know, Alicia and Max, had a tough go a few months ago. Long story short, Alicia died and Max kinda went off grid. Well, _Alicia_ just _called_ and asked for help.”

“And she could only be resurrected by… ‘dark’ means?” Jack continued, testing his understanding.

“Yep,” Dean replied. 

"And Max, isn't he the witch you were attempting to contact to help with closing Hell?"

"Yep."

“Alright, well," Jack heaved a heavy sigh, "are we going to rescue Alicia or Max?” 

“Preferably both.” Sam muttered absentmindedly as he plugged his phone into the portable charger.

**O.o.O.o**

Dean, Sam, and Jack snuck up to the motel door. The blinking light from their phone tracking app, indicated them being on a ground floor room at the far corner of the L-shaped, three story, building. It was around 10 p.m. and it was pitch black out, testing their ability to avoid black ice in the dark while the November snow continued to fall.

Sam leaned against the wall to the left of the door, Dean on the right with Jack standing slightly behind him. They both stared at the door handle then back out at the parking lot, back to the door, then to one another. “Do we knock?” Sam asked with a scrunched face and an outstretched palm.

“Max could be hostile…” Dean replied in a hushed tone, his expression just as confused and unsettled. 

“I could just ‘zap’ in…?” Jack tried, attempting to be helpful. 

Dean huffed a laugh, his breath billowing out in front of him but resisted an eye roll.

“No, Jack,” Sam held up a placating hand, “I don’t think that’ll be a good idea. They don’t know you, they may assume you’re a demon.”

“They can’t hurt me.” Jack replied, genuinely confused. 

Dean and Sam shared a look of incredulous amusement, he was so innocent it was obnoxious but they couldn’t hold it against him, he was a kid. If he wasn’t so much like Cas, Dean would likely have an easier time with him but at the same time, it was what made Jack easier to accept and see past his ‘biology’ and intended ‘purpose’. But if there was any family prepared to keep Jack from his ‘destiny’ it was the Winchesters, masters of going off script and giving fate the bird. 

“Yeah, buddy, we know.” Dean whispered and then focused back on the door, they’d spent too much time debating how to enter the door that they were shivering and for all they knew, they’d given away their positions and the Banes had already escaped out the back window. 

“See if it’s open?” Sam suggested and Dean nodded and tried the handle. 

Locked.

“Guess we’re knocking.” Dean said and did just that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter for now, sorry. No more cocky jokes or previews. I'm so sorry, guys, I know I'm the worst. Cheers.


	14. 13x11 Part Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Super long chapter (about 2,000 more words than my usual) because I couldn't find a good place to break it... sorry not sorry.

Alicia opened the door and immediately her face softened and a soft sigh escaped her lips. “Thank God you’re both here,” she breathed and opened the door more fully. 

Dean and Sam shared a look before stepping inside one at a time, lead by Dean, who immediately asked about Max. “Where is he?”

“In the shower,” she replied easily, then gasped when Jack followed in behind Sam, “who is he?”

“Uh,” Dean and Sam both bleated and stared at her a little longer than needed before glancing at Jack and then back at her.

Sam swallowed thickly. “New hunter…”

“... still has his training wheels on.” Dean added.

Jack was squinting at her, no doubt offput by what she is, a husk in every sense of the word. His lips pulled into a thin line as he tilted his head and continued to stare.

It wasn’t until Dean elbowed him sharply in the ribs, playing it off as a gentle, playful ribbing, that Jack snapped out of it and offered a practiced, kind smile. “I’m Jack.”

Alicia arched a brow but nodded slowly and went back to business. “Sorry it took so long to contact you guys, I was going to call you right back but Max was so adamant about not talking to you- said that you guys ‘had a lot on your plate’ but then it became more angry and he kept grumbling about how you two were to blame for ‘everything’. He started to sound like a mad man but then-” She glanced over her shoulder to the bathroom, where all four of them could clearly hear the shower water running in the shower. 

“... I dunno,” she continued, “he’s just so angry all the time and he acts like nothing else matters. Like, on our last case, he let an innocent girl died because he was more concerned with getting the god. Now, with this wendigo case…” She sighed.

Both boys were staring at her as if she was a mythical creature, looking her up and down and staring deeply into her eyes as she spoke- searching for signs of her not being _her_. However, she looked remarkably like herself. If they hadn’t watched her die themselves, the wouldn’t know the difference- just as the twins hadn’t noticed a difference in their own mother. Alicia’s hair was just as long and curly, her shoulders just as slim and her posture just as elegant. She looked amazing, young, and free. 

When she finished half explaining what had gone on in the last few months, both boys shook their heads of their private, but somewhat shared, reveries about the woman standing in front of them.

Sam gingerly reached out, his hand wavering only for a moment before he rested it on her shoulder. “We’ll, uh, we’ll figure it out.”

Dean sucked on his tongue a moment as he looked between Sam’s hidden look of concern and Alicia’s blatant morose expression. “Alicia, uhm, how long you guys been hunting since the, well, you know.”

Alicia’s brow furrowed and she stared at Dean like he’d grown another head from the center of his face. “What?”

“Did you guys take any time off?” Sam supplied when Dean tripped over his words.

She shrugged and took a quick glance at Jack before lowering herself to the foot of the bed and stayed there. “Not really, we burned the house down and left… got started on a witch coven case right after that. For a while, we were just hunting and killing witches covens and then, when we cleared most of the midwest, we went back to normal hunts.”

Dean cleared his throat. “You guys burned the house down?”

“Yeah, well, Max did, why?” She held up a hand as Dean opened his mouth to respond. “Nope, never mind, I don’t want to talk about that night at all. This is about Max- it has nothing to with my mom or that night.”

“Alicia, it has _everything_ to do with that night.” Sam corrected, his voice soft. 

Her face contorted into a look of mixed confusion and disgust. “What does-”

The water from the shower stopped. 

“Oh shit,” Alicia’s head snapped to look over her shoulder again and she slowly stood from the edge of the bed. She looked back at them, her eyes wide. “We didn’t even talk about what to say to him- oh, he’s going to be so pissed!” The last part was whispered harshly and she started to push on Sam’s bicep, back in the direction of the door. “Forget it, get out of here!”

“Alicia,” Max’s voice called from the other side of the bathroom door. “I’m starving, will you order-” he opened the bathroom door, to reveal himself to the motel room, sweatpants riding low on his hips, bare chested, and still rubbing his head with a bath towel. “- pizza, because…” he slowly tapered his sentence off, his voice dropping a few octaves before he finally stopped projecting all together. 

“Max, listen to me, before you say anything… or- or _do_ anything… just listen!” she held her hands up to him like one would approach a wounded animal. 

“What have you done?” Max whispered, looking at her with wide eyes before they snapped back up to look at Dean and Sam. 

“Funny, Max, we were hoping to ask you the same thing.” Dean said gruffly.

Something snapped inside Max and his eyes flashed briefly. He dipped his chin and muttered, “ _rigescunt indutae_.” 

Both Dean and Sam were frozen to the spot, unable to move or speak. 

“Alicia, c’mon, we need to leave.” Max said calmly, holding out a hand to her.

The witch’s intention was for Jack to be in the same frozen state but instead the ‘hunter in training’ growled deep inside his throat, his eyes flashing a golden yellow, and released a powerful rush of power that resembled something of a sonic boom which threw Max against the wall with crushing force. Jack disappeared for no more than a second and when he reappeared he was towering over Max’s prone form, where he laid crumpled where the carpeted floor met the shabby wall.

Max, in a moment, was on his feet with his lip curled in contempt and eyes narrowed to mere slits, lit up with what could only be described with hellfire. 

“No! Don’t-” Alicia cried. Throwing up her hand in Jack's direction, she shouted, “ _mittent_!” 

Again, spells were futile against Jack and nothing happened despite Alicia’s attempts to save her brother. Neither Jack or Max seemed to pay her any mind, both of their eyes locked on one another, neither man giving any sign of fear. 

“What are you?” Max asked.

“Release the Winchesters or find out.” Jack growled.

Max narrowed his eyes. 

Jack began to raise his hand, his eyes glowing again- he was preparing to smite Max.

“No!” Alicia shouted. 

After another moment of having a stare off with Jack, Max’s eyes flicked to the side to see Alicia. She was panicked, her eyes wild and mouth dropped open. “ _Et recedite_ ,” Max finally conceded.

Dean and Sam released a choked sigh in tandem and shared a concerned look with Alicia before turning back to look at Max and Jack who were staring one another down. While everyone caught their breath and waited for the other shoe to drop, Dean looked to Max’s right hand and shook his head in disappointment. 

“Dude,” he said softly.

Without having to look down at his own hand, Max knew what Dean was talking about but refused to break eye contact with the younger man in front of him. “Can it, Winchester. This has nothing to do with you.”

“Does she even know?” Sam asked.

“Do I know what?” Alicia asked, her voice tight.

“I’m not talking to any of you until this demon gets the hell out of my face.” Max ground out, intensifying his glare as he did.

“I’m not a demon, I’m an-”

“Jack,” Dean interrupted, “step back.”

“If you hurt either of them, I will not hesitate to kill you.” Jack said darkly as he took two steps backwards, unyielding in his direct, menacing, glare. He now stood directly center of the hotel room while Max kept himself closer to the bathroom door.

Alicia rose both hands in the air at her sides, her purple and cream sweater fanning like wings from her arms, palms facing upwards. “Do I know what?! I’m getting the feeling that you all know something I don’t!”

All men turned to look at her during her justified outburst but while the boys looks sympathetic, Max had pulled on a mask of indifference. 

“You stupid, sad, sonofabitch.” Dean muttered, looking back at Max.

“You, of all people, have no right to judge me.” Max barked. 

“Do you think she would have wanted this?! I’ve been where you are and, lemme tell ya, Sam was angry! This-”

“I’m _right here_!” Alicia snapped. 

“We know.” Sam said simply, nodding at her once, his lips quirked into a grim frown.

“Then tell me what’s going on! Max, what did you do?!”

Max pointed between the Winchesters. “Why did you call them!?” 

“Stop avoiding the question! What. Did. You. Do?” Alicia had her hands on her hips and with each pointed word took a step around the beds, where she had been standing between the two mattresses, to come closer to her brother. 

He swallowed thickly but his eyes were dry and cold. “Alicia, we don’t need to-”

“Oh yes we do,” she said and lifted her chin to look at him defiantly. “I called Sam and Dean because I was worried about you, because you’re not acting yourself-”

“What?! There is nothing wrong with me!”

“You’re heartless! The things you say, the things you do to people or _don’t_ do… Max, I don’t even know who you are anymore! I thought- I _thought_ you just needed time. I thought it was because of Mom, that you just needed time to grieve… that you’d get better.” she sighed and placed a gentle hand against his cheek but he remained stoic, unmoving and cold. “But you keep getting worse, I feel like I don’t even know who you are anymore.”

Jack continued to glare at Max despite the attempted tender moment between the siblings. His toes were pointed directly at Max, his chest leaning forward slightly. If he were a dog, his hackles would be raised and canines bared, the last part not far off considering the snarl on his face. 

“Now,” Alicia continued, “tell me. What did you do? Why do Dean and Sam look like they’ve just seen the impossible?”

Like someone flicked a switch, Max’s shoulders slumped and eyes downcast but he refused to speak. 

“Alicia,” Sam spoke up, “before you woke up and burned the house down… what’s the last thing you remember?”

She turned to look at him over her shoulder then looked to Max but her brother refused to make eye contact again. When she responded, Alicia pivoted so that if she turned to her left she could look Max and to the right were Sam, Dean, and Jack. “I- having wine with Mom, I guess?”

“Alicia, you died. That crazy old lady killed you and offered Max a deal to bring you back but it required…” Sam paused and released a heavy sigh.

“... Max woulda had to sell his soul to her, take on her ‘gift’ to do it. He’d have to take that ring.” Dean took over and then pointed at Max’s right hand where he wore the damned piece of jewelry. 

“You sold your soul?!” Alicia snapped and just about gave herself whiplash with the way she turned on Max. 

“It was the only way… I-”

“No! You sold your soul to bring me back to life? How could you?! All those times that you gave Dean and Sam shit for that kinda bull- you- you- how could you!?”

“That’s not all.” Jack inserted.

“What?” All four of the hunters said in unison and turned to look at him.

“Tell her what she is.” Jack said broodily.

“What I _am_?” Alicia tilted her head to the side almost unnaturally, her eyes wide and hands on her hips again.

“I- you…” 

Sam’s mouth dropped open in realization, the pieces fitting together in his head. He let his head fall back and a defeated sigh escaped his lips. “Oh, Max, you didn’t.”

At Sam’s words, Dean also put it together and let out a sound more akin to a growl than anything and dropped his head so that his chin nearly touched his chest.

Max eyes snapped up and he looked at the boys. “You’re a coupla hypocrites, you know that?! How dare you, after everything you’ve put this world through because of your own selfishness and co-dependency! You of all people should understand why I did it!”

“I do understand! But when you start to get out of control someone has to stop you, I know because _I’ve_ had to be stopped. I’ve gone so far off the reservation that- but Sam or Cas came in and _stopped_ me.”

“Not in time, apparently.”

“Listen, we clean up our messes, one way or the other.”

“The point is,” Sam interjected, “some of the worst things we’ve ever done were done with the best of intentions. In the end, something needed to stop us. Dean had to stop me from myself when I was on demon blood… and when I was soulless. Cas and I had to stop Dean when he became a demon. Hell, we captured Death himself in an attempt to stop Cas from becoming a god. All those things were believed to have benefits in one way or the other, more power, good intentions, peace, whatever- but in the end it did more harm than good and needed to come to a stop.”

Dean nodded and picked up from where Sam left off. “We get what you did and why you did it but when innocent people start paying the price… somethin’ needs to give.”

“So, what, you’re here to stop me?” Max bit out, his lips curled in disdain.

“We’re here to keep you from making a Winchester sized mess.” Dean corrected with a wry grin.

Max huffed indignantly and crossed his arms over his bare chest and Alicia took the moment to step closer again. “Max…”

He sighed and walked over to the table at the end of the room, closest to the bathroom door. He grabbed a hunting knife from the suitcase they had stowed there. 

In an almost immediate reaction to Max’s retrieval of the blade, Jack took another step forward and slightly to the side so he stood in between Max and the boys. If Max saw Jack’s movement he didn’t show it and weighed the knife in his palm before turning to look at Alicia with darkened eyes while she stared at him wide-eyed.

Crossing the room to stand directly in front of her, Max held his free hand out to her, palm facing up. She stared at his hand, then into his eyes, then back down again before placing the back of her hand in his. Max puffed out his chest, even though his shoulders sagged, and pulled the edge of the knife across the palm of her hand.

Her skin broke open like a broken seam, revealing a light from within but no blood. She gasped and stared at it, tears filling her eyes. “Max,” Alicia started breathlessly, “what have you done?”

**O.o.O.o**

Max, from where he sat on the wide edge of the bed to the left, watched Alicia carefully from where she was pulled up into a ball on the far end of the other bed, her back resting against the headboard and her legs pulled up to her chest with her arms wrapped around her knees.

“Alicia-” he started but she held up a hand, refusing to look away from a food stain on the bedspread she was sitting atop of. 

Dean glanced over at Sam from across the table they’d both taken to sitting down at whilst Jack stood to Dean’s right, closest the bathroom door. 

The silence stretched on for some time before Alicia finally broke it, “And, you can’t just take the ring off?” she directed the question to Max, who answered by simply shaking his head. Unsatisfied with the response, she looked to the boys for a different answer. 

Sam cleared his throat. “I’ve been thinking and there is something that we can do… it’s why we called in the first place. We have an opportunity to close Hell once and for all-”

“-without anyone dying to do it.” Dean interjected, remembering the last time they had a chance at this, and Sam pursed his lips in his brother’s direction and tilted his head in a silent, ‘really?’ before he turned back to look at the Banes and continued.

“We have a witch that can perform the ritual but she needs more power, more witches.” 

“How does closing Hell help?” Max asked, his voice anything but genuine which was reflected in the way he turned to look at the boys from across the room, one eyebrow arched high on his forehead and eyes narrowed.

“Max, stop it.” Alicia snapped and looked to Sam to continue.

Sam inhaled deeply through his nose before continuing. “Well, with the gates closed there’s no more demonic power, what demons are the surface cannot return and none can come back up… but in relation to you, Max, no one goes to Hell anymore.”

“And how did you get the opportunity?”

“The King of Hell made a deal with us and, uh…” 

Dean huffed and leaned forward in his seat, “let’s just say he kept his end of the bargain. Now, will you help us or not?”

“What do we get out of it?” Max asked lowly. “I mean, that’s where we get our power, why would I give that up?”

“Oh my God, Max!” Alicia unfurled herself and stood from the bed to stand over Max, one hand on her hip while the other varied between pointing at the boys and in his face. “You don’t get to make the decisions anymore. You- you- you’re done! We’re closing Hell because it’s the right thing to do and it keeps your soul from being _damned_!”

“You don’t understand,” Max replied, lowering his gaze to the floor. “If we close Hell…. It’s how I’m keeping you alive….”

“Max, I’m not alive. I’ve been dead for months I’m nothing but a straw person with a conscious! I’m literally the scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz. You losing that power means I can actually move on. I don’t want to be here when I’m not supposed to be.”

Max pointed at them, his head snapping up to meet her gaze again. “They get to! Why can’t we?!”

“They’re actually alive, I’m not even here!”

“Your soul is! Isn’t that enough?”

“No.”

Max laughed humorlessly. “Why not?”

“Because… I’m still dying. I’ve felt it ever since that night, I’m not really myself and I’m starting to lose myself just like you are. I don’t enjoy the things I used to, I’m never hungry… I just feel like I’m going through the motions for your sake but now I know that I was just making a fool of myself because you knew all along! You let me pretend! That makes it worse. You have to know that I’m not myself!”

“You’re not dying- that’s not possible.”

“It is.” Jack said. He was leaning against the wall, his head bowed as he spoke. “Think of this… ‘vessel’ that you created like a bucket with a crack in it’s chassis. Her soul has been slowly dripping away… leaving her body. Soon, there will be nothing left of her but what you’ve been trying to hold together with ducktape and glue.”

The four hunters turned to stare at him with a varying mix of horror and sadness. 

“If you wait much longer, she will no longer be ‘Alicia’ and will instead be the enslaved husk that was intended with the spell you used to ‘bring her back’.” he used air quotes with each emphasis and it was everything Dean had not to roll his eyes but the subject matter was too dire to do so and kept him in check.

“We’re closing that gate, you will be set free, and I can actually move on!”

“But-”

“No! We are going with the Winchesters!”

**O.o.O.o**

_*This is my voicemail, so, uhm, I didn’t answer your attempted call… Leave a message and I’ll get back to you… eventually.*_

_\-- BEEP --_

“Cas,” Dean started, the smile on his face - from being amused at Cas’ voicemail greeting - bleeding into his tone of voice, “we found Max… and his undead sister, Alicia. Long story. But we got our witches, so get your feathery ass back home and bring Rowena. We gotta get started on this spell, we’ll meet you at the bunker. See you soon.”

Sam came up behind Dean just as he was hanging up. “You call Cas?”

Alicia and Max were still bickering behind them, standing nearly chest to chest beside the table while Dean had gone to stand in front of the window, facing the parking lot. He could see Baby from where he stood, snow falling and covering her in a thin blanket of white. 

“Yeah,” Dean replied and pocketed his phone, “went to voicemail…”

Sam furrowed his brow and tilted his head a little. “What’s wrong?”

Before answering, Dean took a deep breath, his shoulders rising as he did so. “It’s the first time I had to leave a message for him since he’s been back. He always picks up…”

Pulling his lips into a thin line, Sam nodded and put his hand on his brother’s shoulder. “He might be meeting with someone, I’m sure he’s fine.”

“Yeah...” Dean mumbled, his mind going to worst case scenario that the other angels finally caught up with him. 

“He’s fine, Dean. Let’s get the bicker twins out of here and to the bunker.”

“Yeah, okay.”

The ride back was awkward to say the least. Jack sat in the back, between Alicia and Max, while Sam and Dean were up front with Dean driving. They kept the music off and rode in complete silence, everyone in their own heads and thoughts. 

Anytime anyone would try to speak up, Dean would shut them down and say that they were playing the quiet game.

“Hey-” Max started.

“You ever play the quiet game, Max? It means everyone is quiet until the person who started the game - me - says so. Have I said you could talk, Max? No, no I haven’t. So shut up.”

Max sucked on his tongue and tried to bury himself into the back of his bench seat, his arms crossed over his chest. 

Sam cleared his throat slightly to gain Dean’s attention, when he had it he offered up a bitch face; lips twisted slightly to one side, his eyebrows raised and nodded his slightly tilted head one time. 

“What?” Dean asked, clearly annoyed. 

He rolled his eyes and shook his head. “Nothing, forget it.”

“Great, forgotten.”

When they arrived back at the bunker, a motel stay and day later, and started to descend the stairs into the War Room, Dean pulled out his phone and dialed Cas. While the phone was ringing, Alicia and Max started asking Sam about the bunker, their eyes wide and mouths agape in awe. 

“This is where you’ve lived for the last few years?” Alicia asked.

“Yep, going on…” Sam looked up as he did the math in his head, “wow, like, six years now?”

“You’ve been hoarding all this information to yourselves?” Max said bitterly as he stepped off the last stair and looked into the library.

“I mean, not intentionally, it just never came up I guess. We’ve been… _sharing_ a little better lately, now that all the hunters are uniting.”

“Better late than never.” Max mumbled and Alicia walked up to one of the bookshelves, tuning out their discussion.

Sam turned to face Max fully and crossed his arms. “Well, for awhile we didn’t have a whole lot of people we could trust, a lot of hunters hated us more than demons.”

“Gee, I wonder why.”

“Okay, that’s enough.” Sam snapped. “You need to bring it _way_ down. We aren’t saints-”

“Damnit.” Dean huffed and both Sam and Max turned to look at him; Sam expectantly and Max annoyed. He brandished his phone in Sam’s direction. “Went to voicemail again.”

Max huffed. “Boyfriend troubles?”

Dean gave him a bitter, sassy look and turned away. “Shuddup.”

Cas manifested in the War Room with Rowena beside him just as Dean had stepped down to go through in order to reach the kitchen. 

At seeing Cas, Dean visibly deflated, his shoulders relaxed and his whole spin seemed to arch from it’s previous tight position. He released a sigh and closed his eyes as he took a few more steps closer to them, his eyes never leaving Cas’.

“Well, hello to you too, Winchester.” Rowena tsked and sashayed past him in order to introduce herself to the new faces in the room. 

“Hey, Cas.” Dean greeted. He placed a hand on Cas’ shoulder and squeezed.

“Dean, I’m sorry I didn’t get your message, my phone died.” he admitted and offered up his phone as proof. “I heard your prayer though…”

Dean nodded and squeezed his hand one more time before letting it slide down Cas’ arm slowly until he dropped it away completely and walked into the kitchen.

**O.o.O.o**

“How long will it take to get this show on the road?” Dean asked, beer bottles in everyone’s hands but Rowena’s. 

Rowena stopped talking with Alicia to look back at Dean where he sat across the table beside Cas. “Well, according to Samuel here, we have all the supplies necessary to do it but considering my own exhaustion and having been teleported recently whilst the twins here look like they’ve been through the wringer, I feel it better to wait until morning, don’t you?”

Dean shrugged and took another swig from his drink.

After another hour of them spending time together, filling the space with idle chatter and some jokes - Max actually managing a smile or two as did Jack, they slowly started to get up to retire to their bedrooms. It was about 6pm in the evening but everyone was exhausted either physically or mentally and eventually it was just Sam and Dean sitting across from one another in the library, both nursing their beers.

“You think this has been too easy?” Dean asked gruffly, breaking the companionable silence they’d shared for over five minutes.

“Too easy?”

“Yeah, like, we’re just sitting here on our hands at this point, ya know? We can close the gates right now but ‘eh, we’re tired, let’s do it in the mornin’!’ -- you don’t think this is all too relaxed? For all we know, some pale faced, ugly, motherfucker is in hell right now, rising to power, killing anyone that stands in his way all while smugly saying ‘there’s a new sheriff in town’.”

Sam shrugged and took a sip from his beer. “Yeah but it won’t matter. This ‘new sheriff’ could send up an army of demons right now but by the time we close the gates, it won’t matter.”

He sighed. “Yeah, I guess. I just feel like we’re getting yanked, ya know? This has been too easy…”

“How on earth do you think it’s been too easy? We’ve had to follow Crowley’s vague fucking riddles, find the book, find Rowena’s ghost then track down her body to bring her back, then go on a two week search for witches who might join up-- sure, no one was tortured or nearly killed-” Dean shifted uncomfortably at that, remembering the mansion ordeal that he’d omitted, “-to get it done but it wasn’t exactly a walk in the park.”

“Yeah, alright.” Dean waved a hand at his brother. “I get it, you’re right.”

“Hey, even if this is ‘easy’ compared to what we’re used to, don’t you think it’s about damn time we caught a break?”

Dean took a deep breath and released it slowly as he nodded his head.

“Right.” Sam said and ran a hand down the front of his face. “I’m goin’ bed. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Night, Bitch.”

He released a short, breathy laugh. “Good night, Jerk.”

Soon after Sam left the library, Dean got up to head to his room.

**O.o.O.o**

After taking his time with a long shower and brushing his teeth, his mind whirling a mile a minute with his thoughts about Mary, the twins, Cas, closing Hell once and for all, Sam with Eileen and possibly getting her back, Jack, Heaven, and finally Cas again. He spit out the toothpaste into the sink and watched it swirl down the drain with the water, his eyes unfocused and lips slightly parted with remnants of toothpaste at the corner of his mouth. 

_Too easy_ , he thought ironically, now seeing the logic in his previous argument. _Yeah right, we haven’t even touched the surface of making things right._

Back in his room, Dean was in the middle of getting dressed into sleep clothes when there was a knock at his door. He looked in the direction of the door as he finished pulling on his pajama pants, his chest still bare. “Yeah,” 

The door cracked open and Cas poked his head in. “Dean,”

“Hey, Cas, you alright?”

Cas took that as the invitation that it was and stepped fully into the room, leaving the door slightly ajar. “Yes, I’m fine,” he said, looking anywhere but at Dean. Cas was already dressed down into a white tee, sweats, and socks. 

Dean finished pulling on a fresh t-shirt and turned to face him about to say that he knew better but as soon as the shirt was pulled on, Cas met his gaze with an intensity that nearly knocked him on his ass. He glanced down and saw the book he had gifted Cas and smirked. “You like it?”

Cas held the book up and examined it before looking at Dean with a shy grin. “I haven’t read it yet, I was hoping to read it with you.” He diverted his gaze then to look at the bed and his eyes widened briefly at what he saw, to the right side of the bed, Cas’ side, was a nightstand with a lamp on it, a perfect match to Dean’s side table and lamp.

Dean turned to look at what Cas was seeing and laughed breathily. “Yeah, well,” he rubbed the back of his neck and shrugged a little. “I’m up for a little reading before bed…”

They both got into their respective sides, both lying on top of the covers, and Cas opened to the first page. 

“Nobody can save you,” Cas started, his voice deep, “but yourself and you are worth saving. It’s a war not easily won but if anything is worth winning, then this is it. Think about… think about saving yourself.”

He looked to the next page, to the right, and started to read again. “You have so much, yet you are always hungry for more. The trick to being well fed is you have to stop looking up and everything you don’t have and look around at everything you do.”

Dean’s breathing hitched by the end of the last poem so Cas waited, wondering if they were about to have another discussion about the meaning and how each of them interpret the words as they’ve done with the last book. When Dean remained silent, Cas started to turn the page but Dean reached out and stilled his hand and they both froze, neither doing anything to remove their touch from the other.

“Cas…” Dean said huskily, “I- I need to tell you somethin’.”

Cas took a deep breath and turned his head to look more directly at Dean, their faces inches apart so they could feel one another breathe. 

“I - Castiel… I love you.” Dean released a rushed breath as if he had been holding it in for an eternity. “And not just, you know, like, brothers or whatever. I said ‘brother’ because I didn’t know what else it could possibly be. I knew I loved you but I didn’t realize it could be so much- so much more.” He shook his head. “I’m sorry, I just made everything really weird but I promised if I ever got you back that I’d lay it all out there for you, whether you felt the same or not. Now that I think about it, that’s really fucking selfish of me but you have no idea what watching you die did to me, you have no idea.”

Cas remained silent, watching Dean as he rambled, the Winchester’s gaze locked on his own hands as he wrung them and pulled at his fingers. 

“And, for the sake of making this even worse, I still want you to know that this isn’t new… it’s been for awhile, probably since Purgatory, but I just- I didn’t know what it was, I didn’t know what to do with it once I did and... “ he released a bitter laugh and hung his head, his eyes closed. “I’m sorry.” 

Silence stretched on as both waited for the other to say something, anything. Dean began to gape like a fish out of water, small sounds emitted every other time but he couldn’t get the words out. Cas didn’t trust his own voice but when he decided to speak, he spoke with certainty that he didn’t know he actually had.

“Why?”

“Why…?” Dean actually looked up at him then, his eyes wide and brows furrowed so close together it looked painful. “Why do I love you? Or why am I telling you that I do?”

“Those are both good questions as well… but, why are you sorry?”

“Because I’m being selfish as fuck. Telling you this like I expect some romantic comedy ending… But it’s not like that, okay? I’m tellin’ you because you deserve to hear it. Hell, you deserve to hear a fucking ‘thank you’ once in awhile but I don’t even offer you _that_. I’m,” he scoffed, “I’m the worst. I really don’t expect you to feel the same way- I don’t deserve for you to- I just needed you to know that I care about you… more than you know.”

Cas closed the book and captured Dean’s right hand in his before he could take it away. Dean tensed at the contact, holding hands, but didn’t pull away completely. Instead, he stared at their hands with bulging eyes. 

“I don’t know what I’m expecting…” Dean admitted, his voice just above a whisper. “I just know that I don’t want you to leave… but if- if you feel like you can’t… That I just…” Dean turned his head away, clenching his jaw repeatedly so that Cas could see the muscles rippling. He was retreating, throwing up walls as quickly as he could- fearing rejection, fearing the look of pity from Cas. 

When Cas realized what Dean was doing, he was quick to respond. “I’m not leaving and I don’t want you to think that I don’t reciprocate your feelings...”

Dean’s eyes snapped to meet Cas’ gaze so fast it was startling. 

“But… I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

At that, Dean barked in laughter and tears, that Cas hadn’t realized had been welling in Dean’s eyes, spilled down his cheeks. “ _You_ make _me_ uncomfortable?” Dean shook his head, making some of the tears trickle down his face faster so that they dripped off his jaw. “I’m the one making love confessions in the bedroom like some hopeless romantic. Talk about chick flick…”

Cas offered a half smile and indicated to the book he’d tossed to the foot of the bed, “We _are_ reading poetry together.” 

Another bout of repressed laughter bubbled to the surface and left Dean’s lips in a choked, watery manner. It waned slowly until Dean leaned his head back against the headboard, his eyes closed and tears continued to silently escape the corners of his eyes. “Tell me again, Cas.”

He took a second to think about what Dean wanted him to say. When it came to him, he bided his time in saying it by making the effort to intertwine their fingers. “I’m not leaving, Dean. I’m here. And… I love you too.”

Dean sighed contently and his forehead relaxed. After a moment, Dean squeezed Cas’ hand tighter and spoke up. “I always thought we had more time, that I had more time to figure it out before I said anything. Now I realize,” he huffed, “I wasted all that time. All this time, Cas, we coulda been more…”

“The time wasn’t right.” Cas said and Dean opened his eyes to look at him so he continued. “Neither of us were ready at the same time. Not until now.”

“So, what, you had to die in order for us to be ready?” When Dean spoke his voice was rougher with emotion, the very notion of Cas dying still ached deep inside him.

“No, but think about it, Dean. You said you’ve loved me since Purgatory-”

“No,” Dean interjected quickly, raising his free hand to hold up his index finger, “I said I figured out _what_ I was feeling during Purgatory… I felt _something_ before then, I just didn’t realize that it was, you know, _love_ love.”

Cas smirked knowingly and nodded before he continued. “But, when we got back from Purgatory I was being mind controlled and couldn’t act on my own. Then there was the fall of the angels, Sam was sick, you had a lot on your plate-”

“Yeah, so much that I kicked you out when you needed me most.” Dean said gruffly and dropped his gaze.

“Then the Mark of Cain…” Cas continued after squeezing Dean’s hand reassuringly. 

“Then Amara and Lucifer…”

Cas nodded. “Then Amara and Lucifer,” he echoed, “and when Mary came back, that was a lot to take in. The Men of Letters came in and crowded in on us, then Kelly and… it was hard for us to find a break to actually talk to one another let alone figure out what we could be.”

Dean grunted.

“Dean, we- our lives…”

“- are fucked up?”

“Are _complicated_.” Cas corrected with a wry smile. “But, I think… what we’ve had this past month is something very special and something I’ve cherished. I wouldn’t change the timing because it’s all that more meaningful. After _everything_ we’ve been through and we’re still here, together, like this. It’s a testament to us, to what we are now and could be in the future.”

Dean smiled and met Cas’ gaze. “Like, nothing can keep us apart…”

“Not even death.”

Dean closed his eyes again and released a slow breath through his nose as he lowered his head to rest on Cas’ shoulder. Cas followed the movement closely with his eyes and once Dean’s head connected with his shoulder, he lowered his head to rest on top of Dean’s, a gentle smile on his lips.

Just as Cas thought Dean had fallen asleep, his breathing even and deep, Dean spoke up again, his voice rough with sleep. “I love you…”

“And I love you.” Cas said, smiling wider when Dean pulled their intertwined hands to rest over his chest, the back of Cas’ hand placed over Dean’s heart.

**O.o.O.o**

“This is all very anti-climatic.” Dean brooded, his arms crossed over his chest. 

Alicia rolled her eyes and turned to glare at him. “I’m sorry, Dean, does my passing not quite meet your standards?” 

His entire body posture changed; his arms fell to hang at his sides, his mouth dropped open slightly and his eyes got extremely wide. “Ah, uh, no- I didn’t… I mean… I wasn’t-”

She winked at him. “I know, no offense taken.” 

“Would you rather we had hellhounds clawing at the doors while we all held off a horde of demons while Rowena, Max, and Alicia shouted over the chaos in order to perform the spell?” Sam asked, leading the other two witches into the library, all carrying the required materials to the tables. 

“Well, yeah, maybe!” Dean said defensively. 

The sound of wings announced Cas’ arrival and he immediately produced rare ingredient. 

By the time they got everything set, everyone was standing around the middle table in the library including Jack. 

“Okay, kids.” Rowena said sweetly and looked to Alicia and Max. “Ready?”

Max took a deep breath and looked to Alicia, his lips pulled into a grim frown. It was Alicia who nodded confirmation. 

“Then, let’s begin…” she held out both her hands over the table and each twin took one and then grabbed the other’s free hand. 

et claudamus portas inferi velit gratias  
Victus est, ut semper gravis  
Nullus daemonum magis obsecro,

A gust of wind, that seemingly came from nowhere, blew the pages of open books and rustled everyone’s hair. Fire burst forth from the bowl and Alicia let out a strangled scream moments before a blue-white light engulfed her form. Everyone diverted their gaze and Max could be heard shouting her name. When the light burned away and the wind ceased, everyone opened their eyes to see a stick and straw figure crumpled on the ground with Max kneeling by it, tears running down his cheeks. 

Before anyone could go to Max to comfort him, Alicia manifested and knelt beside him. “Max…”

“Alicia!” Max whispered, his voice wavering.

“It’s okay, Max, everything is right now.” she smiled and then placed her hand over his right one, just enough that their hands shone bright under her touch but not so much that she was pressed into his skin. 

He knew what she was implying and pulled the cursed ring off. Cas walked up to him and held out his open palm. 

Max never pulled his gaze from looking at Alicia as he dropped the ring into Cas’ hand. He immediately made a fist around the metal and combusted it so that it exploded into stardust. 

Sam looked around the room. “Uuhm…”

Jack opened his mouth to respond but instead doubled over in tandem with Cas, both of them grunting in discomfort but it was Cas who looked up first with fear in his eyes. 

“Cas?!” Dean ran up to him and put one hand between his shoulders and gripped Cas’ arm in his other. “What is it? What happened?”

“The angels…” he grunted, still keeping one hand against his temple.

Dean was staring at him with wide eyes. “What?” 

“What about them?” Sam asked, looking between both Cas and Jack, who was bracing himself against the edge of the table.

“They’re coming.” Jack said breathlessly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poem #1 by Charles Bukowski  
> Poem #2 by Rupi Kaur
> 
> I was super nervous about the Destiel love confessions in this... I originally planned the first 'talk' to be later- like 13x20 later but I couldn't help it... I really couldn't. 
> 
> I want to be clear about one more thing... I'm FULLY aware that I am WAY off the mark with this spec (in comparison to what we're learning from trailers and set photo's, etc, etc), I mean, I'm so far off I may as well be in Neverland haha. Still, I'm enjoying this so I plan to make it to the end. Anyway, just wanted to get that out there that I have no delusions about this, especially when it comes to Cas' return. 
> 
> Whatever, I'm done rambling. I hope I wasn't too crazy OOC with Dean making confessions to Cas the way he did in this. It's VERY important to me to keep people as close to character as possible, so if I ever go too far off the reservation REEL ME BACK IN! Tell me how and I'll be sure to be careful of it next time.


	15. 13x12 Part One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Slightly new format to the 'timestamps' from now on.

** 3x12 **

**O.o.O.o**

**November 9, 2017 -- 11:00 AM**  
 **Lebanon, Kansas**

“What do you mean they’re coming??” Dean asked harshly, directing it all at Jack.

Dean remained close to Cas’ side even though the angel was standing up straighter and appeared stronger, if they stood any closer they’d be touching. Meanwhile, Jack was standing with wide, innocent eyes, looking between everyone else in the room before settling his gaze on Cas.

“They know we closed Hell,” Cas said with an air of discomfort, looking to Dean first, then Sam, and finally on Jack. 

“How would they know that?” Rowena asked, her eyes blinking rapidly as she stepped around the table to include herself in the slowly forming circle between Winchesters and Celestial beings. 

Cas and Jack shared another look before the younger spoke up, “I may have channeled some of my energy through the three of you to make it more potent.”

“So, you… helped.” Sam stated more than asked.

Jack shrugged. “What little I could. The spell cast was all on them, I just made the binding more powerful. It would take significant effort on the demons part to have that reopened now.” Sam smiled a little at what Jack said but the younger frowned and shook his head, “Unfortunately, as you’ve told me before, using such power causes a ‘surge’. It alerted the angels.”

Max stood, Alicia walking beside him as they rejoined the group beside the bookshelf. “Okay, so the angels are coming, so what? Aren’t angels the good guys?” he asked.

Both Winchesters made non-committal, disapproving sounds while Cas squinted his eyes and looked upwards in an attempt to find a placating response and Jack diverted his gaze to look at the ground. 

“That would be a resounding ‘no’, Dear.” Rowena said sweetly as she rested her hand on Max’s forearm. 

“Well this place is warded, protected, right?” Max continued to try to rationalize and understand. 

Again, instead of receiving full, verbal answers, his gaze was directed in the direction of the giant hole in the wall. 

“I mean, other than broken walls, most of the warding is down against angels since we have two that stay here.” Sam added.

“Well, I’m not letting them come here.” Dean ground out. “I say we meet them somewhere. If they want a fight or answers or _whatever_ why don’t we take it to them?”

With his arms crossed against his chest and right shoulder leaning against the bookshelf, Sam looked to Cas. “How long do we have?”

Cas rubbed at his temple with his fingertips, his brow furrowed in discomfort. “It’s all… it’s chaos right now. They know that Jack is involved but they’re confused on his motives and his abilities. Then there are some who are rejoicing in Hell being closed while others think it’s a mistake…” he winced and his knees buckled briefly but he managed to remain on his feet. Dean wrapped an arm around his shoulders, his free hand gripped Cas’ forearm, and guided him to a chair. 

“What’s wrong?” Alicia asked and moved to stand beside Cas, once he was seated, while Dean knelt in front of him, one hand on Cas’ knee.

Both Sam and Dean knew that Cas had had a similar reaction when Jack was conceived but not to this degree. 

“It’s… overwhelming. There hasn’t been a reaction like this since…” Cas’ eyes lifted and held Dean’s gaze. 

When Dean met Cas’ eyes, his breath hitched. All he saw in those deep blues was anguish, the kind he hadn’t seen since Cas had told him he was afraid he would kill himself. Dean’s eyes closed when he realized exactly what Cas was reliving in this moment. He squeezed Cas’ knee, wishing he could do more. 

“Okay,” Dean said softly, “hey, it’s gonna be fine, Cas. Okay? I promise.” He stood and faced the rest of the group. “I still say we bring it to them, huh? I mean, we do this on _our_ terms. The way I see it, we just did the world a huge fuckin’ favor in more ways than one, so they can’t get all pissy with us for that -- not that they won’t try to find a way, I’m sure.”

Rowena raised her hand and cleared her throat daintily. “May I... stay here?”

Both Sam and Dean turned to face her. “What?”

“I mean, I _did_ close Hell. However, I don’t see a meeting with angels going well for me, considering my past. And, now that I no longer have my source of power, I really only have one life to live.” Her shoulders slumped and she looked at the ground dejectedly. “I’m going to grow old now.”

Sam opened his mouth to reply, his eyes slightly narrowed and chin lifted, but he snapped it shut when Cas spoke up again and his brother all but jumped at the opportunity to go to the angel’s beckoning. 

“Dean,” Cas started and waited until Dean was standing directly in front of him again, “we have to protect Jack, they’ll still want to kill him.”

“I will not be left out of this meeting.” Jack said defiantly. 

“Hey,” Dean snapped and pointed at Jack, “what Cas says goes. I mean it, there’ll be no teenage-angst bullshit-rebelling from you, Mister!”

“I am _not_ a teenager and you’re not in charge of me.”

“No? You live under _my_ roof, you listen to _my_ rules. And (most) of what Cas says goes. And If Cas says you ain’t goin’, guess what, _you ain’t goin_ ’!”

“I can take care of myself!”

“Hey, have you ever been at ground zero when the heavenly host decides to do a full on smiting? No. Well, that’s what they’re goin’ try’in do if you show up. I’ve been there once, I’m not interested in having that ‘ground zero sickness’ ever again.”

Jack narrowed his eyes and his mouth dropped open in preparation for a retort but Sam stepped in the middle of them in the most literal sense. 

“Hey, alright, you two-- cut it out!” Sam said, his head whipping to the right and left to keep an eye on both of them, his hair bouncing behind each sudden movement. When it appeared that neither of them would make a move or continue the argument, he turned his attention back to Cas. “How long do we have?”

“They’re coming from The Sandbox. We can meet them halfway, they don’t know the exact location of the bunker as of now but the closer they get the easier it will be for them to figure it out.” 

“Okay, alright,” Dean started and took a deep breath. “Sam and I are going to meet them, we’ll make sure they know to come to us. Alicia, you’re coming too. Everyone else stays here until we get back.”

The room erupted into arguments. 

At first, Max was the loudest, beginning the string of indignant responses. “No, what? You’re not just taking my sister- I’m going too! --”

“Yes you _are_ staying here, I’m a ghost now and--”

Amidst the sibling rivalry, Jack began pouting and shouting as well. “You can’t just leave me here, Dean,” he blurted, “they are part of my family too and I have a right--”

“Jack, you know that--” Cas started, his voice a low baritone to the chorus of shouting and arguments that were beginning to swell in the bunker. Sam was now playing mediator to the Banes while Dean’s head bounced around like he was watching a ping pong match between Cas and Jack. 

Rowena was grimacing as she looked between all of them and eventually made eye contact with Dean, who was getting redder with each passing second of the symphony of displeasure. 

Just as the voices crescendoed to a climax, Dean had had enough.

“ _Aye_!!” he shouted, his voice cracking with force. “Everyone, shuddup!”

“You can’t just-”

“-I want to go-”

“Dean, I think we should-”

“No, uh-uh, shut _up_ ,” he said firmly, addressing everyone. “Seriously! This is _not_ a democracy, it is a benevolent dictatorship!” Max opened his mouth but Dean shook his finger at him then pointed it at himself. “And I’m the dictator! Max, you were a demon up until five minutes ago. Jack, you are wanted by the angels not ‘dead or alive’, they _only_ want you _dead_. And Cas, _you’re_ staying here because you died recently and I’m not prepared to throw you into harm’s way so soon again.” Again, mouths opened all around the room to protest. “The only reason that Alicia is going is because we’re going to negotiate an escort to Heaven.”

Max looked over to Alicia who offered up a gentle, sympathetic smile. 

“Everyone else is staying here and that’s final.” Dean said, his hands clenched into fists at his sides. ”Capice?” A series of nods and grumbled acquiesces deflated some of the tension and he continued; “Great, Cas you’re going to need to put up some new warding to make sure the angels don’t get so much as a whiff of this place while we’re gone. Max and Rowena, I’m sure you guys have some tricks up your sleeves for some protection or booby traps, just in case… right?”

“Of course, Dear.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Great.” Dean grumbled sarcastically at Max’s continued attitude then turned to Jack. “We need to talk.”

Jack took a deep breath, his eyes narrowing as he met Dean’s gaze, then nodded and started to follow Dean into the War Room. Once a few paces from the library, Dean turned so his back was to the stairs while Jack stopped to stand in front of him; the voices of the others discussing potential wards and spells drifting over to them in mumbles.

“I don’t like that you’re excluding me.” Jack said in a pout.

“Look, Jack, it’s for the best. I’m doing this for you but mostly for Castiel. He wants you safe and this is the best way to do it. You have to trust me eventually, Jack. I only want what’s best for the people I care about and that is everyone in this bunker. That includes you.”

Jack stared at Dean with wide eyes, his eyebrows raised in surprise.

“Now,” Dean continued, “will you trust me? Will you stay here until I give Castiel the signal that it’s safe?”

After a moment of deep consideration, his chin dipped to look down at the floor and eyebrows pushed together, Jack looked back up at Dean to meet his gaze and offered an awkward smile. “Yes.”

“Great. Now, I gotta very important question-slash-favor to ask you.”

“What is it?”

Dean glanced over to the library anxiously, took a deep breath, then turned his attention back to Jack. “Okay, first, how much do you know about Heaven?”

**O.o.O.o**

“Dean,”

Cas’ voice reverberated through the hall as Dean headed to their room to change and get his weapon of choice. Dean stopped midstep and turned to face him as he tried to catch up without breaking into a jog. 

“What? I’m not letting you come,” he said gruffly, meeting Cas’ intense gaze.

“You should! Dean, they could try to hurt you or Sam in order to get to Jack. They are desperate and angry. You’ve seen first hand how violent they can get when you stand between them and what they want.”

Dean closed his eyes and waved a dismissive hand. “It’ll be fine, we won’t give Jack up.”

There was a delay as Cas’ expression shifted from concern to offended before finally settling on anger, his shoulders tensing. “That’s not what I’m concerned about!” Cas admonished.

“We’ll be fine!”

“Is it because you don’t believe I can do it, stand up to my brothers and sisters? Is that why you won’t let me come? You think I’m a liability?”

Dean groaned. “No, of course not…”

“Then what? You-”

“Cas--”

“No!” Cas refused to be interrupted. “You think that as soon as I can, I’m just going to leave? Is that it?”

Dean frowned as though considering that, he tried to catch it in time and hide his reaction but judging by Cas’ expression, he’d been caught. Still, he tried to argue against it. “No, I-”

“What do you intend to tell them? Do you have a plan? I’m not just going to sit on my hands until you trust me again…”

“ _Cas_ \--”

“What do I have to do to-”

“Cas, please!” Dean shouted and emphasized his desperation with grabbing both of Cas’ shoulders, effectively ceasing any other argument on the angel’s tongue. “ _Please_ , just let me do this. Let me keep you and Jack safe, it’s the only way I know how right now.” Cas continued to look at him defiantly, his mouth dropping open in order to express that defiance but Dean went on. “I can’t lose you again. I really can’t… I won’t survive it.”

“Dean-” Cas’ intended statement: _I don’t need you to keep me safe_ , went unsaid as Dean interrupted, his voice heavy with emotion. 

“I don’t expect you to stay locked up the rest of my life - I don’t - just until I know that you’re safe. I promise, as soon as things are all clear, I’ll call you. You and Jack can fly up and be there in less than a second, right? Just let me scout ahead to make sure they won’t try to kill you or Jack. Let me make sure it’s safe.” Dean took a deep breath and when he spoke again his voice was low and gravelly. “I need you. Let me _keep you safe_ , please.”

Cas’ shoulders relaxed and slumped within Dean’s hands, his expression softening as all anger left him in the rush of a single heavy breath. He tilted his head, his expression rapt, and reached up with his hand to cradle the side of Dean’s face gently. When Dean leaned into the touch, he smiled before pulling gently at the base of his jaw in order to bring him closer, pressing their foreheads together. 

“Okay, Dean,” he said just above a whisper, “thank you for keeping Jack and I safe.”

When their heads connected, Dean’s eyes fluttered closed and he breathed in deeply, his chest puffing and shoulders rising. As he breathed out, all the tension left his body as he drew closer to Cas; his hands sliding from Cas’ shoulders down his sides, slowly, until they rested on his hips. The feeling of Cas’ warm skin under the maroon V-neck shot electricity through Dean’s fingertips and he sought more, pushing his fingers under Cas’ shirt until he brushed up against the top of his jeans. Relishing Cas’ solid presence, Dean sighed contently and took a step closer to him so that they were nearly flush with one another, Cas’ hand still cupping Dean’s face with his other hand gripping Dean’s bicep firmly.

“Please, be safe. If you and Sam discover you’re in danger; that they will try to hurt you… or take you. Please pray to me, I’ll come get you. I’m worried too, Dean. I’m worried about your safety as much as you are mine. Just… be careful.”

Dean took one more deep inhale of Cas’ scent and their shared air before opening his eyes and pulling away from him. “Ah, you know me, Cas. ‘Careful’ is my middle name.”

“I thought you said ‘Danger’ was your middle name,” Cas replied with a knowing, half smile which brought a hearty chuckle and a wink from Dean.

**O.o.O.o**

**November 9, 2017 -- 5:21PM**  
 **Kansas City, Kansas**

“Alicia, try to relax.” Sam said gently, standing directly beside her.

“Relax? We’re about to face down _angels_.”

“You’ve faced demons before,” Dean said gruffly, finishing an angel banishing sigil on the wall where it would be hidden from view from anyone who came in the front door of the abandoned apartment they had barricaded themselves into. 

The other marks, drawn on with black paint, were those they knew would summon an angel’s attention and we’re shamelessly painted in plain view on the grime covered walls.. Finished with the banishing sigil, on the inside of the closet door where they could easily access it if need be, Dean turned to face the other two where they stood in the middle of the room. “Just think of them as self-righteous, condescending demons.”

Realizing that demons were also self-righteous and condescending, Dean used that to further his point; it would be exactly the same as talking with a group of demons only most of them will be dressed up in stiff business suits and look more ‘hoity toity’. 

Sam nodded his agreement and smiled at Alicia. “And it’s not a facedown, necessarily-”

“Oh yeah,” she interrupted, “because the banishing sigil is a great indicator of peace and understanding.”

“It’s just a precaution.” Sam assured and Dean nodded as he walked over to the far window in the empty living room. “It’s a conversation to discuss a potential alliance,” Sam continued, “-a peaceful resolution to a not-so-silent war we’ve had with them for the last nine years, that’s all.” He moved to grip her shoulder or pat her arm but he couldn’t. Stopping in time before having the awkwardness of passing a hand through her, Sam smiled instead which managed to bring a smile from her.

“And, hopefully, a fast pass to Heaven for you.” Dean added as he peered behind the ratty curtain in order to look out the window, searching for anyone who might be an angel coming to the boarded up building. 

On the busy city street, where people walked by in crowds, most were uninterested in the apartments that had been boarded up for years and meandered by without so much as a glance in the direction of the dilapidated building. Knowing this, Dean was immediately able to pick out the angels that stood amongst the people. They didn’t stand together in one group - that would be too conspicuous - instead, within the crowd, Dean picked out seven individual people that were staring directly at the building. One by one, they shared looks with one another and then slowly started to dodge and weave between oncoming traffic and oblivious civilians to get to the dust covered front doors of the apartment. 

“They’re here.” Dean said simply and moved away from the window to face the door parallel to it. He looked to Sam and they held one another’s gazes for a time. “Remember what we talked about,” he mumbled and Sam nodded his assent. 

It didn’t take long for the angels to make their way up to the third floor and burst through the door, brandishing angel blades. Alicia blinked violently while Dean and Sam did their best not to look bored. 

“You.” One of them, a tall man with gelled, blond hair and a business suit on, said bitterly.

“Aw, hey, fellas! How’s it goin’?” Dean said with a smug grin. 

A woman, who looked like she was more akin to a soccer mom, her dark hair pulled up into a messy bun on top of her head, stepped forward. “Where is the nephilim?”

“Before we answer that question, we need to talk.” Sam said.

“We have nothing to discuss with _Winchesters_.” The businessman spat.

“Paschar, please.” The woman stepped in front of him, her hand out to keep him at bay. “I am Manakel,” she introduced herself.

“The angel of Peace,” Sam said softly, his expression relaxing as a reflection to the woman doing the same at being recognized.

“Yes. What is is that you need to say?”

Dean took a deep breath and looked between the seven faces, lingering on the face of Paschar, the cranky business angel, before settling on Manakel. “You’re aware of Hell being closed?” When she nodded once, Dean continued. “Yeah, so we did that with the help of our friends and the nephilim.”

“ _You_ closed hell.” Paschar huffed in disbelief.

“Paschar, silence!” Manakel demanded. 

“Yes, we did.” Dean said just as bitterly as the skeptical blond. 

Sam sighed. “The point is, Jack is helping to bring the world back into balance.”

“Here’s the deal, you leave him and Cas alone and we open Heaven’s gates.”

One of the other angels, a broad shouldered man with straight black hair, pushed his way forward. “Castiel lives?”

Dean swallowed with considerable effort and held his breath while Sam’s face contorted; his brows furrowed and eyes narrowed. “You know that he died?”

The blond rolled his eyes and huffed. “No angel was able to tune out Dean Winchester’s pathetic, lamenting prayers. Begging anyone to bring him back, your ‘everything’. Even though his death was _your_ fault.”

With a sneer, Dean took a menacing step forward and was quickly stopped by Sam who grabbed his bicep forcefully. The action was mirrored by by Manakel who put out a hand to cease Paschar’s equally threatening posturing.

“Castiel’s grace burning out was felt throughout all of Heaven and his death was confirmed by your grief.” Manakel stated, originally addressing all three of them before turning her attention solely on Deanby the end. “However, whether Castiel is alive or dead is not the topic of this meeting, I’m certain.”

“No, but it’s gotta big part in it.” Dean said gruffly, his lip still curling in contempt towards Paschar. 

“Get on with it then.” Paschar snapped.

Sam stepped forward. “Jack, the nephilim, is as good as it gets. All he wants to do is bring about the paradise the apocalypse was originally intended to. He doesn’t want to bring back the war, obviously, but we’re starting the process with shutting up Hell. So, you know we’re serious, you felt his power- it’s why you’re here. Essentially, as long as you swear to leave both Jack and Cas alone, we’ll have him open the gates of Heaven. You’ll get your souls back, your power, and a purpose.”

“Plus,” Dean interjected, “you could help us gank the rest of the demon’s left on the surface.”

“You expect us to let a creature such as ‘ _Jack_ ’ to walk around earth with Castiel, an angel who has yet to redeem himself?” Paschar asked incredulously.

“First of all, Cas doesn’t owe you ungrateful sonsof-” 

“ _Dean_.” Sam hissed.

Without skipping a beat, Dean changed tone and attitude. “Yep!” Dean said with a raised chin and arched eyebrows. “But wait! There’s more! You also get to escort this lovely woman to her own personal Heaven. She’s your very first customer!” he said with flare, a smirk on his lips. 

“Then there’s one more thing.” Alicia stepped forward, before any angel could say anything further. Both boys turned to face her with wide eyes and eyebrows near their hairlines while the angels appeared stunned by the forwardness of a ghost. “They get their heavens too, as does my brother.”

“Alicia-”

She turned to look at each Winchester in turn, starting with Sam and keeping her gaze on Dean as she spoke. “Rowena and I had a talk. She told me about what’s been happening with you two while Max and I were gallivanting around like the beginning to a bad joke. I know about the reapers vendetta against you two… after all you’ve done, all you’ve sacrificed, you deserve Heaven as much as anyone, _more_ than anyone.”

There was an indignant huff from the group of angels in front of them, but they paid it - nor whom it came from - no mind, their gazes fixed on Alicia as she explained herself. 

“So, you want your gates opened?” She turned to face the angels again to address them; “leave their family alone and everyone goes to Heaven. That’s the deal.”

The angels all looked between one another and seemed to have a silent discussion before Manakel stepped forward again. “Very well, we agree to your terms. We will not harm the nephilim, Castiel will be absolved, the ghost will be escorted, and the reapers will deliver you to Heaven upon your deaths- but only if you go willingly the first time. Are we in accord?”

Dean and Sam shared a look then turned to face Alicia who offered a guarded smile. “I’ve said my goodbyes. Just, don't leave Max alone. He's going to be torn up, he'll need you, even if he says he doesn't.”

“Of course,” Sam said and took a deep breath through his nose, his chest puffing out as he turned to face the angels again. “Alright, if these are agreed to, then we’ll call Jack. Deal?” he finished semi-awkwardly.

As soon as the words left Sam’s mouth, Dean finished his silent prayer to Cas. Both Cas and Jack appeared in the gap between where the Winchesters and Alicia stood at the far end of the room and where the angels stood, crowded, by the front door. With their backs turned to Sam and Dean, they could only see the reactions on the angels faces. 

Initially, it was a reaction of awe, their eyes blinking rapidly, then of disgust, lips sneering defiance, and - finally - reluctant acceptance.

“Castiel.” Paschar greeted with a level of bitterness that made Dean take a step forward in warning, his arms trembling at his sides as he fought the urge to grab for the angel blade tucked in the back of his pants. 

“Hello, Paschar,” he said grimly then turned to face Manakel with a softer expression. “Since I am here, I understand an agreement has been arranged,” Cas said with a hint of question rather than statement.

While Paschar huffed, Manakel nodded once and straightened her shoulders; the other angels also rising to their full heights. “Indeed,” she said finally.

“Very well.” 

Dean took a shuddering breath and Sam straightened his back, his right finger twitching; both men clenching their teeth so tightly that their jaw muscles rippled under their skin. 

After a pause of what the humans could only assume was telekinetic conversation between celestial beings, Jack turned to look at Cas in question. When Cas gave his nod of approval, Jack threw his head back, his eyes lighting a golden hue. There was an invisible wave of energy that burst forth, throwing both Sam and Dean off their feet just as the windows shattered and the lightbulbs burst, making the room dark despite the natural light trying to shine through the dusty, navy curtains. 

Both Winchesters scrambled to get to their feet but were blinded by a sudden white light coming from the group of angels. Cas’ voice rang through the air, ‘close your eyes’, moments before they were able to throw their arms up in their faces, hiding their eyes in the crooks of their elbows. The ringing in their ears made it near impossible to hear one another when each of them shouted a succession of "no’s", "Cas'", and "Alicia's" which were followed by a string of profanities from both. 

The orange red with black dots behind their eyelids slowly began to fade away and Dean started to call out again, “Cas… _Cas_?!” 

“Damnit, Dean, I can’t see! What happened?!” Sam was shouting and Dean could hear shuffling beside him: Sam trying to get his feet under himself. 

When he didn’t hear anything else and neither Cas nor Alicia responded, Dean’s heart clenched so tightly in his chest it felt like a heart attack. He pulled his arm away from his face and tried to stand, rapidly blinking his eyes open but all he could see were blurry colors and light spots. “Cas!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  
> 
> **  
> **  
> _I haven't seen 13x01 yet -- please, PLEASE no spoilers in the comments!_  
>   
> 


	16. 13x12 Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter to Part One of the Season 13 Spec Series.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a link to a song by Ira Wolf called 'One More Chance'. I suggest you listen to it either prior to reading the whole chapter or at least when you come across the link amidst the specific part. Consider that part a "mini song fic"... or something."

**November 9, 2017 -- 5:32PM**  
**Kansas City, Kansas**

There was only white a dark colored splotches. The atmosphere changed around the boys but with no real way to tell why. The shrill ringing in their ears kept them from hearing clearly and everything sounded muffled and far away, like trying to hear while submerged under water.

Sam and Dean got to their feet and reached out blindly for guidance and protection, both calling out for Cas, Jack, and Alicia.

“Sam! Dean!” Rowena called, her voice garbled and far.

She ran up to Dean, who flinched and braced for impending touch, while Max grabbed at Sam, who jolted at hands gripping his shoulder and forearms. The two witches guided Sam and Dean to the library, from where they’d manifested in the War Room, into chairs around the first table. 

Noting the trickle of blood coming from Dean’s right ear, Rowena frowned. “Dean, can you hear me?” 

His eyes glassy and unfocused, he nodded numbly and threw up a defensive arm that kept her from coming any closer than his extended, crooked arm would let her.

“Alicia, what happened to Alicia?” Max asked, desperation clear in his voice as he looked between them. 

Rowena looked at him with sympathy but shook her head, her red curls bouncing around her shoulders as she did so. He looked between the two shell-shocked Winchesters again and frowned, then left to get a first aid kit while Rowena kept trying to get more information. “Can you tell me what happened? To Alicia… or what happened to your angel?”

“No, I- there was a light… I… I couldn’t get to him… I… I lost him…” he drew in a choked breath. “I lost him again, he was right there and I…” he trailed off.

Seeing no real answer to come from Dean, Rowena turned to Sam. “Samuel?”

“Cas, he… he showed up with Jack and they made the deal and then there was the burst of power and light then nothing.” Though somewhat more coherent than his brother, Sam appeared just as disheveled and shaken. 

“He’s gone… The light, I saw the light… He’s gone…” Dean mumbled, staring out blindly at a spot invisible to Max or Rowena. 

“Dean, just…” Rowena faltered and instead grabbed his extended arm and guided it to rest in his lap, her thumb rubbing circles into his exposed flesh. 

“S-Sam, is Sam okay? Sam?” Dean seemed to come back to himself, turning his head in an attempt to see more than spots and splotches of color.

“I’m here, Dean.” Sam said and Dean visibly deflated. He started to rub at his eyes with the sides of his index fingers which quickly turned into fists. “What the hell was that?”

“I dunno… I don’t know.” 

“Cas…?” Sam couldn’t bring himself to ask the rest of the question.

Dean swallowed hard and dropped his face into his hands, his fingertips pressed against his closed eyes. “I couldn’t see… I dunno… Sam, I-”

There was a pregnant silence before Sam spoke up again, Rowena waiting and watching as the boys talked to their respective blank spaces. “Dean, is it like before?”

After a great deal of hesitation, Dean said; “I… no. I can’t tell… it happened so fast.”

As Rowena opened her mouth to offer some comfort, Max reentered the room, medkit in hand, and she stood to meet him to gather some of the supplies, specifically the painkillers. She was in the process of opening one of the childproof caps when there was a familiar rush and sound of wings flapping. 

Cas manifested with a barely conscious Jack hanging off his side, his right arm slung over Cas’ shoulders with his left hanging limp. At the fluttering sound, both Sam and Dean shot to their feet and called out. Max ran to gather up the exhausted boy and took him from Cas, whose eyes could only see Dean’s sagging posture and entreating, outstretched hand. 

Once Jack was held by Max, Cas hurried over to Dean and took his hand. As soon as their hands met, Dean used their contact to tug Cas into his chest forcefully and all but collapsed into him, clutching at his shirt and pressing his face against Cas’. 

“What the hell just happened?” Dean asked brokenly, his voice gravelly.

Enjoying the contact as much as Dean, Cas wrapped his arms around him and held him close, his nose brushing into the hair just above Dean’s ear. He opened his mouth to respond when Sam shifted his weight and looked more in the direction he could hear Dean’s labored breathing and the sound of rustled clothing. 

“Cas,” Sam called.

“I’m here, Sam,” he assured and, with some effort, removed himself from Dean’s clutches in order to press two fingers to each of their foreheads to heal them both their flash blindness and tinnitus. 

“Jesus, Cas!” Dean cursed as soon as he could see and pulled Cas back in for another hug. “You scared us half to death!” 

As soon as Dean released Cas, he was pulled in for crushing hug by Sam, who held on just as tightly as Dean had. “We thought…”

“It doesn’t matter what we thought,” Dean interrupted gruffly and waited until Cas was released to finish his sentence, “you’re here.”

Cas smiled and nodded once before placing a firm but gentle hand on Dean’s shoulder.

“What happened to him?” Sam asked and indicated to Jack’s unconscious form that Max was still holding up. 

“Opening the gates exhausted him and then he insisted on zapping you two here and returning the empty vessels to their homes.”

“Empty- so that light...?” Dean asked, his brows furrowed together and eyes narrowed.

Cas took a deep breath and lowered his head in shame. “Unfortunately, the others were so elated at Heaven being opened that they couldn’t wait to return… in their true forms.”

“So they up and - what - smoked out without any warning?”

“Yes, I’m sorry… I-”

“Hey, man,” Sam shook his head and took a step closer. “Don’t apologize. Everything is fine, we’re all here.”

Dean nodded and took a calming breath, his hands still trembling from the adrenaline and fear of losing Cas. “I was just scared that… We thought…”

“Like you said,” Sam interrupted and looked to Dean while he completed the forming triangle between the three of them, “doesn’t matter what we thought.” 

“So,” Rowena said, clearing her throat as she stepped up to them. “Does this mean?’

“Everything went according to plan.” Sam said with a smile and then turned to face Max, who was in the process of readjusting his awkward grip on Jack. “Alicia has been escorted, she’s in Heaven… at peace.”

Max’s shoulder slumped and a small smile turned his lips. 

Cas took the opportunity, now that everyone was healed and back to normal, to retake Jack. Once he had him, he announced he was going to take him to bed and it was all Dean had in him not to turn and follow closely behind. 

Instead, Dean left to the kitchen to get drinks. When he got back and started to pass out bottles, Cas walked back into the library. 

“Hey,” Dean greeted and Sam looked up to see Cas and smiled brightly, his eyes softening at the sight of him.

Cas smiled and took the offered beer out of Dean’s hand.

“Kid all tucked in,” Dean asked.

“Yes, I wouldn’t be surprised if he slept for twelve hours or more.”

Dean raised his eyebrows and pursed his lips while Sam took a deep breath before saying, “we’ll have to make sure he gets plenty of water when he gets up then.”

Both Dean and Cas nodded and sat down at the table and took swigs from their beers in unison with one another.

“So, Sam was telling me that Alicia was gone after the light showed up,” Max asked, his lips moving against the lip of his bottle before he punctuated his question with a sip from his drink.

Cas cleared his throat. “She was escorted to her Heaven, I saw to it personally.”

His lip quivered momentarily before he managed to school his expression and sighed. “I suppose I should be happy.”

“Hey,” Sam leaned forward over the table, his beer still gripped in his right hand. “I know that this isn’t easy, I’ve been where you are, but she’s in a much better place where there’s no pain or sorrow.”

“Yeah,” Dean nodded and offered a smile. “Plus, we got Hell closed up, angels will be so busy bussing souls back and forth they won’t have time to be assholes… for awhile anyway.” He looked over to Cas, his eyes crinkling with his smile, before adding; “today was a solid win.”

Max left first, exhausted from performing the spell, becoming mortal again, and losing his sister all in one day. He managed a smile, clapped both Sam, Dean, and Cas on the shoulders on his way out and nodded at Rowena, who smiled and bowed her head. 

A few minutes later, Rowena insisted on beauty sleep and excused herself; shortly followed by Cas who stood up and walked towards the War Room. Not wanting to smother him, Dean watched him leave with a longing gaze but remained in his seat. Once Cas was out of sight, Dean turned back in his seat to face the table and Sam but his eyes were fixed on the brown bottle in his hand. 

After a long, somewhat comfortable silence, Sam cleared his throat. “You okay?”

Dean took a deep breath and curled his fist tighter around the glass. “Yeah,” he said unconvincingly. “You?”

“Glad everything worked out right for once.” Sam said with an ironic huff.

“Shea,” he scoffed and took another drink. “Sam, I gotta tell ya somethin’.”

Sam’s eyes narrowed at the edges, his eyebrows pushed up in the middle in a silent question.

“Look, Cas and I… well, we had a talk- ‘ _the_ talk’.”

Immediately, Sam’s expression shifted and he smirked. “Oh yeah?”

“Well, y’know, I told him that… I mean, I just don’t want you ta be--”

“No, I get it. I’m glad.”

There was a long pause while Dean stared at Sam expectantly while his brother continued to smile knowingly, smugly. 

“What, that’s it? No awkward, ‘what ever do you mean, Dean’? No, ‘are you sure you know what you’re doing’? No, ‘this changes things’? _Nothing_?”

“Changes things,” Sam scoffed. “Dean, what exactly do you think is going to change? Are you two gonna start staring at each other longingly, are there going to be ‘lingering touches’? Oh wait, you already do that. Oh, I know, you’ll make decisions for one another without permission because you think it’s for their benefit… nope, that’s already checked too. Be overprotective? Jealous of glances from others? Maybe start, I dunno, sharing a bed?”

Dean’s mouth dropped open to retort but nothing came out.

“Listen, you two have been having eye sex in front of me since before we stopped the apocalypse… it’s been eye love making since you got back from Purgatory. I’m _amazed_ that you two took _this_ long to do anything about it. You want a ‘big reaction’ from me? How about relief?”

Dean pouted, his eyes broody but his shoulders slumped and lower lip pushed out. 

“Honestly, Dean, I’m happy for you. I haven’t seen you this happy in a long time, well, excluding about thirty minutes ago… but everything’s fine. All I ask- just, don’t make good on the eyefucking while I’m in the immediate vicinity, okay?”

Dean remained where he was, stone still with his eyes drifting back to the neck of his sweating bottle. He wasn’t about to correct Sam’s assumption that anything sexual was or ever going to happen. If he was honest with himself, he wasn’t convinced it ever would. 

When the silence stretched on and Dean’s jaw started to tic, Sam reached over the table to rest his hand over Dean’s forearm and considered it another leap forward in their relationship when Dean didn’t pull away or so much as flinch. 

“And if all this stoicism from you right now is about you being with, you know, another ‘guy’ or whatever-”

Dean’s eyes snapped up to meet Sam’s tender gaze. “I-”

His brother held up a hand and smiled gently. “No, listen, this is Cas we’re talking about. Sure, we see him as a guy but he’s an _angel_. Just, do what makes you happy-” he smirked, “-even if you take that sentence literally. 

There was a pause as Dean studied Sam, taking in his words, expression and body language. After what seemed to be some serious consideration, Dean pushed his beer away and leaned forward so that he could speak in a hushed tone. “It’s like you said though, it’s _Cas_ …”

“Yeah?”

“Sam… what if…” his brow furrowed painfully tight together and the dimples in his cheeks became prominent as he lowered his gaze.

“You fuck it up?”

Dean looked back up, his face tight with anger, directed at himself more than Sam, but he didn’t argue.

“Have you talked to him about it?”

He leaned back in his chair heavily and huffed. “No.”

Sam sighed. “Why?”

“It’s like you said, Sam, he’s an _angel_! What if it’s not the same for him. I know that he cares for me-” when Sam scrunched his expression into a ‘bitch face’, Dean hurried to correct himself, “-that he _loves_ me. And _I_ love him but I don’t want him to think that it’s what I need… or want… or whatever.”

Sam rolled his eyes and leaned closer. “Dean,” he shrugged, “ _isn't_ it?”

“I’ve never been…”

“Stop thinking about it like that! First of all, it’s twenty-fucking-seventeen. Secondly, it’s _Cas_ and I know you know what I’m talking about.” When Dean didn’t affirm or deny, Sam sighed. “Right?”

“Yeah, of course, it’s _Cas_ that I love, not his body, not anything other than _him_. But that’s what I mean! For him, that may just mean having one another’s backs and having someone to stay with at night-” he let out a frustrated growl, “I don’t even know what I’m saying anymore.” 

“Okay, fine, let’s back it up then.” 

They both sighed in unison and Dean nodded, “okay.” Chick flick or not, feelings or not, he needed to figure this out and he was talking himself into circles. 

“You love him.” Sam stated and Dean nodded, covering his mouth with his hand. “You’re happy.” A nod. “ _He’s_ happy.” A hesitant nod. “You’ve shared a bed.” Nod. “Cuddled?” Undecided head shake/nod. “You’ve had ‘gay things’ in the past.” A harsh glare but affirmed nod. “You’ve called him ‘devastatingly handsome in public and have _also_ checked him out in a not so subtle way-” Dean finally dropped his hand away from his mouth to refute but Sam pushed on, “-I’ve seen it with my own eyes.” A reluctant nod. “So there’s a level of attraction…” Sam’s eyes grew as he let out an exasperated huff, “I don’t see the problem!”

“Sam! I’ve never done it with a guy for one.” He held up his index finger and as he continued, he added his middle finger. “Two, it’s fucking Cas and if I push him the wrong way… and now that Heaven’s opened and he’s in their good graces again… what if…”

Finally, it made sense to the both of them. Dean could admit there was an attraction but his deep seated abandonment issues were standing firmly in the way. 

“Dean, I don’t think he’s going to be leaving anytime soon.” 

“If I ask him about-”

“Here’s the thing. Cas, of all people, knows exactly how sexual of a person you are. You’ve both had the talk, admitted feelings, ectera, ectera… it’s probably something that has at least crossed his mind as a possibility. And, it’s not like he’s exactly a virgin or anything.”

Dean pouted his lip and diverted his gaze.

“And there’s the jealousy!” Sam laughed.

“Shut the fuck up, Bitch.” Dean snapped but with very little malice. 

“I love you, Dean. Always. Y’know that, right?”

He nodded and met Sam’s affectionate gaze. “I know… I love you too.”

With a breathy laugh, Sam replied, “Jerk,” and pulled Dean in for a strong hug, their hands clapping one another on the back loud enough to resound in the large library.

**O.o.O.o**

_(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N_p1mAiYRnE)_

**November 9, 2017 -- 9:48 PM**  
 **Lebanon, Kansas**

Sam and Dean had talked for a while longer, after Sam convinced Dean that he should at least broach the topic and also reiterated how happy he was for Dean, he got up and went to bed as well. There was a joke in there about how they were all a bunch of old people going to bed before 10 PM but it went unsaid. Dean cleared the tables and then went searching for Cas.

He checked their room first, empty. Then peeked into Jack’s room, just in case, empty aside for a snoring nephilim. The gym, where he had been going the last few weeks and may have challenged Cas to start working out as well, also empty. Kitchen, empty. Loop back around to the library, empty. Garage, vacant, including Baby, who was still in Kansas City; they’d have to zap back there in the morning to get her.

Panic started to rise in his throat like bitter bile but he swallowed it down. He reached in his pocket for his phone and then looked towards the garage door and promptly dropped it back into his pocket. He stepped outside and walked across the street to the treeline, beyond a few rows of trees was a field with rolling hills. On top the nearest one, with his head tilted back to look at the night sky, was Cas. He sighed heavily in relief, his breath billowing out in front of him. Stuffing his hands in his pockets, he walked up the hill and stopped directly beside Cas, their shoulders brushing. 

They simply stood in one another's presence for a time, the night deafeningly quiet from the cold front moving in; not so much as a cricket filled the comfortable silence between them.

“You okay?” he asked, looking at Cas’ profile rather than up at the stars with him.

Cas kept his gaze on the sky but replied quickly and evenly. “Yes. Are you?”

“Are you leaving,” he blurted, turning his gaze to the sky finally. 

After a brief hesitation, Cas looked down at Dean, confusion etched in his features.

“It’s just…” Dean shrugged and repressed the urge the shiver at the cold. “Heaven is open now, unlimited power, angels are all cool with you again…”

“You negotiated my forgiveness as part of the deal in opening Heaven.”

“Well, yeah!” Dean said and frowned, turning to face Cas fully. “I wasn’t going to let you show up if they were gonna snatch you and try to smite you or recondition you or whatever the hell they do!”

Cas’ eye twitched. “Why are you shouting?”

“I’m not shouting--!” he started and the choked the words off in order to lower his voice considerably, “I’m not.” 

“I don’t want to fight, Dean.” 

“Neither-” he sighed heavily and he stooped his shoulders, his head bowing slightly. “Neither do I, Cas. I’m sorry. It’s just- you- you scare the shit out of me sometimes and I'm… I'm worried.”

“Dean?”

“I really don’t want you to go, I know that they’re your family and Heaven is your home or whatever but I really, really, don’t want you to go.” He managed to meet Cas’ eyes after that but couldn’t bring himself to his full height. “When you leave for Heaven, you lose track of time or something and you’re gone for weeks and forget all about us and-”

Cas let out a sound that was part growl and stepped directly into Dean’s personal space, barely a full foot between their chests. “I _never_ forget about you,” Cas said, his voice raw with emotion. “Never.”

Dean held his gaze and in a single sigh managed to fall further into himself. “God, I sound so selfish. Forget it. Forget I said anything.” 

“Dean, talk to me.” Cas implored, gripping Dean’s shoulder to gain his attention. “Please.”

“You deserve better.” 

Cas blinked, his mouth parting slightly. 

“Cas, honestly, I’m no good for you, y’know? I mean, you know this, unless you managed to forget. I mean, all I do is hurt those I love or- or I’m not strong enough for them. I remember when you told me that if you went back to Heaven, you were afraid you’d kill yourself and I just, we never talked about it. I wasn’t there for you, I let you down.” He took a shaky breath. “I’m not strong enough, Cas, I can’t even protect you- that back there,” he threw a thumb over his shoulder as if the apartment living room was right behind them still, “I couldn’t do shit to help you, I saw that light and…I was so scared that I’d lost you again.” he felt the choked sob in his throat escape before he could get it to stop. “I’ll just let you down, you know? So, if you wanna go, go. ‘Cause, we both know if you stay here, I’m gonna fuck it up. I fuck everything up because I’m not strong enough,” he repeated. “Gimme one more chance, Cas, and I’ll let you down, I just know it.”

“Dean, I love you-”

“I love you too, Cas, so fucking much but that don’t mean I’m good for you.”

“Dean, let me finish.” Cas insisted, stepping closer to Dean in order to press his palm at Dean’s jaw to bring his gaze back up to meet Cas’ intense blue eyes. “I love you. I’ve told you before, being with you… and Sam… was- _is_ the best part of my life. I’ve lived a very long time, Dean, and it’s only with you that I have the interest in spending my time on Earth. You make life down here worth living, it’s why I’ve done it for so long in one body, mind you. Yes, I had been suicidal at one time-”

Dean’s eyes flashed and he jerked against Cas’ hand but said nothing when Cas shook his head and continued through his monologue.

“- but I didn’t do it. Then I was given an out again, when I was human, but I found that life was still worth living, it was worth the fight for survival if not only to make amends for messes. At the end of it all; fighting beside you, riding cross country with you, eating-” he paused and smiled wryly, “-shitty food at diners with questionable hygiene, laughing with you and Sam, all of it makes this life worth all the pain, all the turmoil, because you are always there for me to come home to. To fall back on when it becomes especially taxing because you are strong when I'm not. You were there for me, forgave me, when my ‘family’ wouldn’t. You were my touchstone. You _are_ my touchstone and I will always return to you, I will never forget you, and _you_ will _always_ be enough. Nothing will ever change that.”

With a shuddering breath, Dean stared at Cas with tears brimming his eyes. 

“The only reason I’m considering it is because I want to…” he sighed. “I want to find Eileen Leahy. For Sam.”

Dean blinked in surprise, causing some of the tears to fall unbidden. “How- he…?”

“We discussed it briefly the other morning. I know how important she was to the two of you, especially Sam.” Cas said and began to lower his hand but Dean grabbed it and held on as they dropped to between them. 

“Cas,”

“If she’s in Heaven, at least I can tell him that she’s safe, at peace. If she’s not…” he sighed and glanced back at the dark, night sky. 

Dean took a deep breath nodded. “You’ll let me know if I can help?”

“Of course.” Cas smiled and squeezed Dean’s hand briefly before they both released and Dean stuffed his hands in his jean pockets. 

“How long will you be gone?”

Giving Dean a knowing smile, Cas brought their foreheads together to which Dean relaxed into and closed his eyes. “I will return as soon as possible, I promise.”

“Okay,” he said and nodded slightly against Cas. 

“Let’s get you inside before I have to heal you of hypothermia.” 

Dean laughed and pulled away from Cas in order to lead the way back towards the bunker.

**O.o.O.o**

Once inside, back in their bedroom while they both stripped and got into night clothes, Dean turned to face Cas, bare chested with his black t-shirt still in his hand. “Cas,”

Cas turned to look at him expectantly, from his side of the bed, the corner of the blanket clutched in his hand as he prepared to get under the covers. 

“I want you to know… I won’t- we’re not wasting anymore time, okay? I’ll spend every last day of my life making up for lost time with you, making up for not loving you the way you deserve. I want you to be happy. You deserve to be happy and I want to make that happen, any way I can. Okay?”

The affection in Cas’ gaze stole Dean’s breath away. “I am happy, Dean.”

Dean nodded and pulled his shirt on. “Well, let’s keep it that way,” he said when his head poked through the top hole. 

Once they were both dressed and under the bed covers, Cas grabbed the poetry collection off the surface of his bedside table and brandished it. “Do you want to read tonight?”

There was a considerable pause as Dean considered it, staring at the book then glancing at Cas, back at the book, peek at Cas. 

Cas smiled. “We don’t have to read tonight, Dean, I know today was exhausting.”

He nodded and smirked apologetically. “Yeah.”

After replacing the book on his nightstand, Cas turned out his light and looked to Dean as he waited for the Winchester to do the same with his bedside lamp but instead was met with Dean staring at him calculatingly. He shifted uncomfortably under Dean’s gaze and diverted his gaze. “What?”

“Uhm,” Dean cleared his throat, “can I… can I try something?”

Again, Cas shifted in his place, rustling the sheets, but nodded. 

Taking a deep breath, Dean steeled himself and lowered himself further into the bed while Cas remained sitting up against the headboard. Once lowered far enough down, Dean held his head inclined to rest on Cas but hesitated before finally doing it- almost too heavily in his rush to ‘just do it’. With his face pressed against Cas' chest, over his heart, Dean gritted his teeth and stared at a the dark corner between Cas’ night stand and the desk against the wall. 

Despite Dean’s stiffness, Cas smiled. “Dean?”

Dean grunted. “Is this… okay?”

“Yes, may _I_ try something?”

“Mhm.” Dean forced, his lips screwed to one side. 

Cas lifted his left arm from where it was slightly pinned between himself and Dean’s chest and wrapped it around Dean’s shoulders so that his hand was rested on his side. “Is this… okay,” Cas asked, mimicking Dean’s previous tone. 

“Mhm…” Dean replied, relaxing.

“Good night, Dean.”

“Mmm’night, Cas,” he muttered and draped his right arm across Cas’ stomach.

**O.o.O.o**

**November 23, 2017 -- 2:59 PM**

The bunker was in complete darkness, the red emergency lights knocked out just as the rest of the bulbs were blown out. Dean stumbled for a flashlight from his desk drawer and grabbed his handgun for the wall rack. He ripped open his bedroom door and practically fell into the hallway before steadying himself into his trained, military-like stance; his right, gun wielding, hand rested just above his left wrist which was pointing the flashlight beam outward. 

“What the hell was that,” Dean shouted. “Sam, Cas?!” he came up to the kitchen and checked it for anyone, friendlies or hostiles but found it vacant. “Claire?” no response. “Anyone?!”

He rounded his way into the War Room and froze, sniffing the air. Ozone.

Two more steps in and he was frozen in his tracks. In the center of the library, hovering just above the first table, was a tear in space in time. The orange, zigzag that marred the air zapped and fizzled and sent chills like electrical shocks through Dean’s body and his hands began to tremble at the sight of it. Dean had been so preoccupied with the tear that he hadn’t noticed the one person inside the room. 

Jack.

He stood to the right of tear.

“Jack? Hey, buddy, whatcha doin’?” He tried to keep his voice calm and withheld the angry accusations to himself the best he could.

When Jack turned to face him, he tensed but didn’t raise his gun any higher nor drop it lower. Jack’s eyes were glowing brightly, so much so they appeared to be smoking golden dust, his hair had fallen into his face as he tilted his head and peered at Dean from over his shoulder. His lips curled as he snarled and gold started to glow through Jack’s veins, emanating from his chest to spread down his arms and up his neck into his face. 

A painful chill ran through Dean as his finger itched to go to the trigger but he refused the urge, biting the inside of his cheek to remind himself that he was alive and this was real- even if he wished it was a nightmare. 

However, Jack had other ideas and he gnashed his teeth at Dean and, before he could stop himself, Dean’s finger twitched to wrap around the gun trigger.

**O.o.O.o**

_TEASER:_

"Will Jack go Dark Side? Mary is still in a dangerous AU with Lucifer, or is she? What about Eileen? Is Cas really going to stay? Stay tuned for Part Two! Destiel, angst, and fluff ahead!" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it, People -- The End! 
> 
> Whatcha think? Any thoughts on how I can improve? Suggestions for Part Two? 
> 
> Thank you SO MUCH for all your love and support. I truly hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.
> 
> (still haven't seen 13x01)


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